happiness is not the goal. meaning is.
The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
11–20 of 195 posts
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#12Money gave me stability.
Stability allowed me to have time for introspection.
Introspection allowed me to target issues in my life.
Fixing those issues is lowering my discomfort in life.
Money won't fix anything for you but it will provide you an environment where you can.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#13Americans are becoming too rational and this is a major problem. When you over-value rationality, you expect to be able to have a rational answer to every question. The hand-licking story that made the front page today illustrates this point perfectly. Approached rationally, the mom could not solve the problem, no amount of mental effort would yield a resolution or insight into the issue. When the mind expects an ans…
>Americans are becoming too rational
...maybe you have not noticed who is currently the US president?
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#14Americans are becoming too rational and this is a major problem. When you over-value rationality, you expect to be able to have a rational answer to every question. The hand-licking story that made the front page today illustrates this point perfectly. Approached rationally, the mom could not solve the problem, no amount of mental effort would yield a resolution or insight into the issue. When the mind expects an ans…
How is not addressing the cause of the hand licking rational?
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#15Americans are becoming too rational and this is a major problem. When you over-value rationality, you expect to be able to have a rational answer to every question. The hand-licking story that made the front page today illustrates this point perfectly. Approached rationally, the mom could not solve the problem, no amount of mental effort would yield a resolution or insight into the issue. When the mind expects an ans…
> The hand-licking story that made the front page today illustrates this point perfectly. [...]
> It is only when she applied an irrational approach to the problem, surrendering the need to control the situation, that she could finally understand what was going on.
I feel like you have a somewhat idiosyncratic definition of "irrational" that you're applying here.
What I took from the hand-licking story was that her initial attempt to brute-force the issue without understanding it was irrational, i.e. "not logical or reasonable", and that approach failed. Then, quite reasonably and rationally, she backed off and established trust with her child, found out the underlying cause of the issue, and provided a solution that resolved the underlying issue.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#16Happiness isn't a state you can reach and just dwell in. As soon as you realize you're happy and start to think about it, it evaporates. It's a byproduct that sits in your periphery when you're experiencing life to the fullest, whatever that means to you.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#17There is nothing which will make you happy. You must choose to be happy. There is no job, no amount of money, no relationship, which will make you feel whole and happy and content and done. The opposite doesn't hold - there are jobs and relationships and financial strains which will certainly keep you from being happy. The goal isn't for a job or a relationship to make you happy. It's to enable other things which are…
Thanks for the sage wisdom. My life is changed. All right here on HN. Wow.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#18Overall I agree with the article, and would gladly trade my high paying job for one that I actually enjoy, as long as I could be sure that I can make ends meet. The one disagreement I have is the assertion that we should be happy making "just enough" money that we need. "just enough" can change due to circumstances outside our control, so earning more than enough gives you some cushion for when things don't go as pla…
You were earning just enough. Don't listen to people whose time horizon isn't further than the next month's paycheck.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#19Overall I agree with the article, and would gladly trade my high paying job for one that I actually enjoy, as long as I could be sure that I can make ends meet. The one disagreement I have is the assertion that we should be happy making "just enough" money that we need. "just enough" can change due to circumstances outside our control, so earning more than enough gives you some cushion for when things don't go as pla…
I totally agree, and while a good % of HN readers probably are making a lot, the vast majority of people (at least in the US) are living month to month.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#20happiness is not the goal. meaning is.
What's the point if you're not happy? Fulfilling your meaning and being utterly miserable seems like a goal I want to avoid. Unless meaning will lead to happiness, at which point happiness is again the goal.