‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’

Sounds like she fell between two stools: neither a fulfilling career, nor a family. I guess this is what you would call the modern American dream.

This is all completely true. I feel like modern living has pitched this whole idea that it's worth putting yourself into debt to "have experiences, not things" (I have my doubts that this is a true Millennial preference and rather just a bit of clever marketing that has worked exceptionally well) and to avoid investing too much in anything lest something better come along. It's the same reason I look down upon tech people's effects on housing markets in SV pushing old-time residents out because they can't afford the rent, and look down upon people who scoff at moving to flyover land where they can afford to put down roots. This woman bought into a train of thought that's not really being developed for her benefit.

This reminds me of The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro.

It opens with an old couple who live in a land misted by a fog of forgetfulness. And one of them remembers they have a son they love very much. They haven't seen him in many years, because they had forgotten and they have to get back to him. And they set out to do so.

That feeling of, oh this is an important thing, person, event, skill, and why have I forgotten about it? Why didn't I attend to it? That is just part of the human condition as you get older.

I don't think your life is "wasted". Just accept that regret is part of all lives. Even the person who is happy, has thoughts and ideas about alternatives. Not that you would trade what you have, but you do play out alternative lives. Its perfectly natural.

Everyone around us is fighting their own little war. I've felt similarly to the writer -- I moved out of my childhood home the day after graduating college and started work that Monday. I only moved 215 miles (NYC to Boston), but it felt a world away, especially considering most Americans live relatively close to where they grew up and 215 miles in Europe goes a long way.

I've made and abandoned friends at almost every stage in my life. I have no idea who will be the best man at my wedding because to be honest my brother probably isn't up to the "responsibilities", but I have no alternative.

I now live on the west cost, a tough 6 hour flight away from home. I visited my family this Thanksgiving and am noticing so many changes, people are dying, babies are being born, my cousins who I've always viewed as children are about to graduate college. It's tough being away from home and not feeling like I have roots (I'm considering a move to Seattle or the Bay Area in early 2019), but at every step I've justified my actions because the next step always came with a significant pay increase and more career opportunities.

This January will be my 13th anniversary with my high school girlfriend (soon to be fiance). I can't describe how valuable it's been to have someone so close in age (I'm 3 months older) that can relate to the things that I'm going through, and who has my back, and knows that I have hers. Things haven't been easy, but it's become so much more than a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, which is why marriage is in our future.

I've met so many fellow millennials who are serial monogamist or date freely, I don't judge them at all and at some times have felt a tinge on envy, and these folks may have a friend or family member who is to them what my girlfriend is to me -- I guess all this is to say that in today's society I just don't know how we can traverse this reality with at least one person who you are tightly integrated with. It's just too tough out there.

Frankly I stopped reading the moment the book was mentioned.

It feels off and insincere.