is anyone commenting here female? or have anecdotes with respect to how women are effected? i'm particularly curious because of the physical and hormonal changes that a woman goes through with respect to child birth and breast feeding, etc. how are the time, side-project, changes curves effected in this particular case?
Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
11–20 of 216 posts
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#12Completely changed my life. I have a 3 week old. You have to relearn how to do everything. You have figure out new ways to do things that used to be easy: Cooking/eating Going to the store Sleeping I'm not giving up on my side projects though. My strategy has been to think about my project while actively caring for the baby and to sneak in some coding sessions while she's napping.
Congrats! How are you coping with the sleep deprivation?
I'm a father to a 6 month old boy and I got to a point where I was so tired I felt I could see through time.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#13I have a little boy who just turned 7 months old yesterday. I spent a good part of the night in the emergency room because he had uncontrolled vomiting.
It's definitely a trip, but I love it. Starting a business around it is hard. I applied to YC, but I'm fairly confident I won't get in because I can't live in California for 3 months.
Contrary to what some other people on here have said, I've actually found more time to work on side projects and my startup. If my son wakes up at 330 and wants food, I'll just stay up then and I have a good 3 hours of uninterrupted work time (he'll usually go back to sleep after the bottle).
Having a little boy motivates me much more than not having one. I want to build a successful company that makes me independently wealthy so at some point, I can spend my time with him and the rest of my family.
I also enjoy being young and having a son (I'm 26). I'll be 43 when he goes to college, which means I'll be young enough I could do another startup then.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#14I have a 4.5 month old daughter and my life has changed in the following ways: - every day is much more structured around the baby. Get home from work, feed her, put her to bed at 8:30pm, she wakes up at 6am, feed her, go to work, etc. -Its like being on-call 24-7 so expect very few opportunities to get in the "flow state" when working on your app/startup. - I have a full-time job (not related to software) and in the…
I've got a 4 year old and a 6 year old. All valid things you raise here, and they certainly still apply with mine at their current age.
A positive though, that may not apply to everyone, but certainly applied to me: They make you grow up
Suddenly there are other people that really depend upon you. Whilst finding the time to get a startup running is harder, I think the motivation to succeed is stronger than it was when it was just me with few cares in the world.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#15Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early.
Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#16I have a 3yo and 14mon old. Just about everything revolves around them, except for a precious couple of hours in the evening, when I have to decide between programming etc. and cleaning up. Because of professional demands on my time (tech lead at web dev shop), my wife ends up bearing a much larger share of the responsibilites for the household than either of us would like. If there isn't some kind of professional pot o' gold after all my effort, the inequity will just seem unfair -- and in retrospect I will just look like a typical selfish guy. The fussing seems constant sometimes, which is wearing on the nerves. Although I do spend several hours with the kids everyday (daycare exit to bed time), I'm too tired to be the engaged parent that I thought I would. "Inspiration .... to do more"? Absolutely. The financial pressure has increased tremendously. But these are 'the rough times' .... right?
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#17I've a 2 year old son. A lot of comments about sleeplessness and being on call 24/7 stop applying after a few months, when a baby sleeps through the night.
I find I have less time in front of the computer, but more motivation and inspiration while I'm there. I still have plenty of energy and time to create interesting projects (http://yieldthought.com/post/1345897970/10-flaws-that-made-m...). I had more time beforehand, but I can't point to anything worthwhile that I achieved with it.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#18Having a baby changes everything. And it's weird how you can't even imagine it ahead of time. To answer some of your questions: - Your ability to produce will go down drastically - Your priorities will change. - You will be more tired, and your time will be at a premium. I think the time issue is the main one. Especially for those reading this. I feel like a lot of hackers like sitting down for hours during your free…
seems relevant to this topic is this blog post about having a special needs child, in relationship to happiness and children:
http://jenniferlawler.com/wordpress/?p=747
Was highly voted up in HN http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1539833
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#19Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early. Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.
So true! I'm parent to a couple of twins (2.5yo) and the selective deafness is what really puts me down
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#20[deleted]
Apparently you have none. Kids, I mean.