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Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

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11–20 of 134 posts

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#11
post #8
post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

You’re going to enter into a relationship with the people you’re talking about (on a public forum) for the rest of your life.

Realistically, barring any massive progress in life-extension technology it's unlikely the poster will have to deal with his in-laws for the rest of his life (unless they're particularly murderous). Even less likely if he and his wife migrate away from China.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#12
post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

Same shit is happening in India. If you dont have a H1B and never worked in US, good luck finding a girl. I am 27 right now and that too a low caste. I am seriously contemplating giving up hopes of marriage and remaining single. Will be tough as I dont have a family. All my family members were killed when I was young. I have stopped bothering and now just bury myself in work and reading to avoid the darkness.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#13
post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

How does $10k mean they think you are rich? That's chump change. They are being generous.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#14
post #4
post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

What happens if you don't pay? you need some written approval or what?

What happens for her is strong condemnation and probably severing of ties with the family.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#15
post #12
post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

Same shit is happening in India. If you dont have a H1B and never worked in US, good luck finding a girl. I am 27 right now and that too a low caste. I am seriously contemplating giving up hopes of marriage and remaining single. Will be tough as I dont have a family. All my family members were killed when I was young. I have stopped bothering and now just bury myself in work and reading to avoid the darkness.

Don't give up hope. If India is anything like China, independent, educated young people are much more likely to make marriage decisions for love rather than money. The key thing to realise is that, if someone will only marry you for your financial status rather than love they'll probably be a terrible spouse, and similarly if they'd let their parents make their marriage decision for them they're also probably not the kind of person you want to marry. If they care about your caste, then they're a horrible racist and you certainly wouldn't want to marry them.

If you go to a big city and hang out at the kind of places educated, independent young people go to, you might be surprised at how open-minded the people you meet are. Particularly art-related places; people who pursue an artistic career have potentially already demonstrated a preference for following one's heart over financial concerns.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#18

Markets always appear next to scarcity, and laws against market operations always drive transactions underground, because supply and demand must be made to meet somehow. Without expressing approval per se of what's happening in China, I do have to express a total lack of surprise that people react to scarcity in one area in the same way they react to scarcity in every other. Extreme gender imbalances are societally d…

Are gender imbalances destabilising historically? It woild be interesting to see the history. After wars there was lack of men in some areas. Excess of men was during gold rush, in Australia and is in silicon valley.

(I am not sure how much it proves or disproved theory.)

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