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The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

rejectiontherapy.com

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Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#11

Post by drumdance »

jodrellblank wrote: post #8
leonardheaton wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think the article is actually saying that. It's saying we need to be cognizant of why we make decisions and avoid situations. We are controlled by fear a lot more than we realise (or at least, that's what i got out of the article).

And then it goes on "so ignore your fear and do it anyway", which is terrible advice. Really really terrible. It's like telling you that when you are driving and a warning light appears on the dashboard trying to tell you something, ignore it and push on forwards anyway - wouldn't want to be a weak, boring driver, would you?

An indicator on the dashboard indicates an objective fact: x is not working as it should.

In a social context, the vast majority of "waring lights" are not objective reality. They are just a subjective state of mind.

And BTW I generally ignore my check engine light. ;)

Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#13

Post by fleitz »

lionhearted wrote: post #4

> Look the homeless guy in the eye, tell him you can’t give him money (or maybe you can – your choice), but ask him his name I tried something like this, and it just seemed to piss homeless people off most of the time. It's like, if you build a personal connection, then they really expect you to give them something. I believe in giving money to responsible charities rather than to individuals, but I thought it'd be c…

I don't care what they are looking for. I treat them courteously as long as they treat me courteously. I've given 20's to people who sang a funny song, however, my usual M.O. is this:

"Spare some change?"

"No"

""

"No, Fuck Off!"

In life you have one chance to make your pitch, make it count.

I don't say sorry that I don't have money for them because I'm not sorry about it. I also listen when they have their long story, I also listen well enough and remember faces well enough that often I can recite the rest of their scam story that always stays the same and never changes because they are not participating in the improvement of their condition. Apparently, someone has been needing change to go to an interview with IntraWest for over 12 months (incidentally, the first time he asked me was less than a block from IntraWest's head office).

For example the guy I gave a 20 to for singing a funny song, I saw him a few months ago and he let me know that he had found a place and was starting to record, he was still begging for change, and I said 'i think i did my part when i gave you a 20', i gave him a smoke, he agreed and moved on, but it was nice to see that in some way he had taken it upon himself to improve.

Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#15

Post by kscaldef »

drumdance wrote: post #10
kscaldef wrote: post #2

I understand that they are proposing it more as a general exercise, but I'm pretty sure that failing to have a conversation with every person who asks me for money on the street isn't actually making my life boring. Also, I can't imagine anyone actually saying the words, “I am determined to make new friends tonight and I bet you are just the kind of people who make good friends.”

This works really well at networking events. Most people at networking events 1) feel like the reason they went there is to meet new people and 2) are still too shy to actually meet new people. Walking up to them and saying this provides a solution to both problems.

I'm not saying not to talk to people. I'm saying that I can't imagine anyone literally using that phrase from the article as suggested.

Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#16

Post by fleitz »

VMG wrote: post #9

Tap the line cutter on the shoulder and smile while you say “sorry, you may not have noticed, but the line starts over there.” I do this sometimes with kids who play music on the tram and it is very unpleasant. My monkeybrain kicks in and I get a rush of fight hormones, my face gets red and most likely the guy/gals opposite too. The situation never escalates but I feel uncomfortable after that.

I've had this situation escalate to threats of violence. It was exhilarating. I caught some kid tagging the subway.

Turns out he didn't really want to escalate it and ran out the other door. I was pumped the whole day. Vagrants, bums, and the vast majority of people who commit property crime are experts on reading people, and displaying aggressive stances, if you fear them they will smell it. If you stand tall, look them directly in the eyes and adopt an aggressive stance they will be startled to the response and flee. If you're looking down at the ground you are unaware of your tactical situation and are inviting trouble.

If you don't fear them they will run because underneath it all they are generally very weak individuals who thrive off of intimidating the easiest looking target. As Sun Tzu said, "When your hand is weak, make it appear strong" and "When your hand is strong, make it appear weak". Perhaps he was talking about poker, I don't know.

Initially that day I looked like a target in a suit, but as soon as I was willing to see his threat of escalation he reevaluated the situation and left.

Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#17

Post by drumdance »

kscaldef wrote: post #15
drumdance wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This works really well at networking events. Most people at networking events 1) feel like the reason they went there is to meet new people and 2) are still too shy to actually meet new people. Walking up to them and saying this provides a solution to both problems.

I'm not saying not to talk to people. I'm saying that I can't imagine anyone literally using that phrase from the article as suggested.

I've done it. When you walk up and say something -- anything -- to someone, they are generally focused less on the words than the the body language of the approacher.

But it's up to you. You can say whatever you want as long as it's non-threatening.

Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#19

Post by [deleted] »

fleitz wrote: post #13
lionhearted wrote: post #4

> Look the homeless guy in the eye, tell him you can’t give him money (or maybe you can – your choice), but ask him his name I tried something like this, and it just seemed to piss homeless people off most of the time. It's like, if you build a personal connection, then they really expect you to give them something. I believe in giving money to responsible charities rather than to individuals, but I thought it'd be c…

I don't care what they are looking for. I treat them courteously as long as they treat me courteously. I've given 20's to people who sang a funny song, however, my usual M.O. is this: "Spare some change?" "No" " " "No, Fuck Off!" In life you have one chance to make your pitch, make it count. I don't say sorry that I don't have money for them because I'm not sorry about it. I also listen when they have their long stor…

[deleted]

Re: The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring

#20

Post by hotmind »

jonhendry wrote: post #18

The secret reason why your life is boring is you waste time doing useless self-help nonsense misrepresented as a 'game' and posted by the self-promoting SEO consultant who created it.

Sigh. Gotta have a thick skin in this business.

Thanks for your comment. I'll pull the reigns back on the self promotion for awhile.

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