Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life • Hacker News Board

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#11

Post by yasp » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:32 PM UTC

_diyu wrote: post #9

yasp wrote: post #7

What about lowering your sights and doing independent consulting, perhaps for small or local businesses, or tech work for an organization that values forgiveness as part of its mission (e.g. a church or similar nonprofit)?

The last time I tried to post on /r/forhire, some very vigilant commenters made a point of it to alert everyone else about my past, so they would know not to hire me. The moderators said too bad, it's their right, and really I agree with that judgment. But it means I have no way of getting new clients.

Try canvassing the real world and plugging yourself on reddit without identifying your IRL self in your ad.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#12

Post by _sdegutis » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:33 PM UTC

yasp wrote: post #11

_diyu wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The last time I tried to post on /r/forhire, some very vigilant commenters made a point of it to alert everyone else about my past, so they would know not to hire me. The moderators said too bad, it's their right, and really I agree with that judgment. But it means I have no way of getting new clients.

Try canvassing the real world and plugging yourself on reddit without identifying your IRL self in your ad.

That seems very unethical, doesn't it? Hiding information that would make a client definitely not choose you, so that they would choose you?

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#13

Post by danso » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:35 PM UTC

> All the software jobs that I had were opportunities given to me out of compassion and charity. But I wasn't qualified for them. I've always had attention span difficulties. Each of my open source projects were done out of excitement. I had an idea of how to automate something, and I just went for it, and could focus on it for weeks at a time.

What do you mean that you weren't "qualified"? For all of your legal issues, you sound like a brilliant and productive programmer. Have you seen opportunities (e.g. requests from people) to be an online teacher/tutor for programming, perhaps being funded through Patreon?

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#14

Post by _sdegutis » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:44 PM UTC

danso wrote: post #13

> All the software jobs that I had were opportunities given to me out of compassion and charity. But I wasn't qualified for them. I've always had attention span difficulties. Each of my open source projects were done out of excitement. I had an idea of how to automate something, and I just went for it, and could focus on it for weeks at a time. What do you mean that you weren't "qualified"? For all of your legal issu…

I'm able to pass interviews very well, but when it comes down to doing senior level programming stuff, I really suck at it. I tried rewriting old.editfight.com the other week in React + Express + TypeScript and it took me 3 days just to get the basic boilerplate working. But I can tell an interviewer what big-O notation means and can write a working fizzbuzz using functional programming techniques in ESNext.

Even if I were qualified, I don't think anyone would like to take online tutoring from a sex offender, and I doubt even more that people would like to fund a felon and sex offender via Patreon. But I really do appreciate the idea.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#15

Post by appletrotter » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:45 PM UTC

I can tell that logically you understand what you did was wrong, but all the subtext in your writing points to you desperately trying to blame something else (society, drinking, the victims being underage) when the blame really falls squarely on you. Even though you say that you know did wrong, you don't actually sound sorry, and it's very obvious. I would believe, having read that, that you think that you're a victim. You're not. You're the predator of this story. No improvement of any kind will be met through this frame you've constructed. You need to actually accept the facts. Actually.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#16

Post by yasp » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:46 PM UTC

_sdegutis wrote: post #12

yasp wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Try canvassing the real world and plugging yourself on reddit without identifying your IRL self in your ad.

That seems very unethical, doesn't it? Hiding information that would make a client definitely not choose you, so that they would choose you?

No, I don't think it is unethical. You'll disclose your identity one on one.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#17

Post by _sdegutis » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:50 PM UTC

appletrotter wrote: post #15

I can tell that logically you understand what you did was wrong, but all the subtext in your writing points to you desperately trying to blame something else (society, drinking, the victims being underage) when the blame really falls squarely on you. Even though you say that you know did wrong, you don't actually sound sorry, and it's very obvious. I would believe, having read that, that you think that you're a victi…

I've had to deal with this nightmare living in my head for almost 10 years now. I've accepted that it's my fault, and in no way am I trying to place blame on anything else. All the choices I made were wrong. It was wrong of me to drink when I was stressed about work. It was wrong of me to turn to adrenaline tactics to relieve stress too. It was wrong of me to flash teenage girls. It was wrong of me to try to get a software job when I knew I wasn't qualified for it. It was wrong of me to tease my family with a middle class life I realistically knew all along that I couldn't afford. It was wrong of me to not quit from my jobs when I knew I wasn't doing well enough at them. Everything here was my fault and in no way am I avoiding responsibility for any of it. This blog post is an obituary of my software career. It's written from that perspective.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#18

Post by pluto9 » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:54 PM UTC

_sdegutis wrote: post #14

danso wrote: post #13

> All the software jobs that I had were opportunities given to me out of compassion and charity. But I wasn't qualified for them. I've always had attention span difficulties. Each of my open source projects were done out of excitement. I had an idea of how to automate something, and I just went for it, and could focus on it for weeks at a time. What do you mean that you weren't "qualified"? For all of your legal issu…

I'm able to pass interviews very well, but when it comes down to doing senior level programming stuff, I really suck at it. I tried rewriting old.editfight.com the other week in React + Express + TypeScript and it took me 3 days just to get the basic boilerplate working. But I can tell an interviewer what big-O notation means and can write a working fizzbuzz using functional programming techniques in ESNext. Even if…

And yet you have a number of useful and interesting projects on Github.

That stack takes quite a lot of twiddling configuration files and piecing together disparate libraries and unrelated tools, at least on the frontend, and especially so if JavaScript UI frameworks aren't your area of expertise. 3 days is not that surprising.

How about starting a SAAS lifestyle business? There are a number of threads on this site of the "tell us your one-man SAAS success story" variety. Might want to look to them for inspiration.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#19

Post by _sdegutis » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:54 PM UTC

pluto9 wrote: post #18

_sdegutis wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm able to pass interviews very well, but when it comes down to doing senior level programming stuff, I really suck at it. I tried rewriting old.editfight.com the other week in React + Express + TypeScript and it took me 3 days just to get the basic boilerplate working. But I can tell an interviewer what big-O notation means and can write a working fizzbuzz using functional programming techniques in ESNext. Even if…

And yet you have a number of useful and interesting projects on Github. That stack takes quite a lot of twiddling configuration files and piecing together disparate libraries and unrelated tools, at least on the frontend, and especially so if JavaScript UI frameworks aren't your area of expertise. 3 days is not that surprising. How about starting a SAAS lifestyle business? There are a number of threads on this site o…

Thanks will look into it.

Re: Career Post-Mortem, or: How flashing teenager girls can ruin your life

#20

Post by LaurenceW1 » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 7:55 PM UTC

appletrotter wrote: post #15

I can tell that logically you understand what you did was wrong, but all the subtext in your writing points to you desperately trying to blame something else (society, drinking, the victims being underage) when the blame really falls squarely on you. Even though you say that you know did wrong, you don't actually sound sorry, and it's very obvious. I would believe, having read that, that you think that you're a victi…

This! It is incredible that no one else so far has commented on this. I read the post and it seems that there is no accountability. What of your victims? The emotional toll of being sexually harassed can follow someone for the rest of their lives.