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Improving Ourselves to Death

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Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#11
post #4

tl;dr - I made it about two paragraphs in before I started skimming. It's a rambling an uninteresting rant against the self-help industry, which ends with a recommendation for another self-help book. I fail to see what point the author is trying to make. What is life but a struggle to become the best person one can be? And who cares if the quest kills us? We're all going to die anyway. What else were you going to do…

I read every word of it and agree with you. Also, the irony that most, if not all of the books mentioned end up pedaling another kind of 'self help' seems to be lost on the author.

Unlike you though I have consumed quite a number of self-help books for the very reason you stated: striving to be a better person seems like a worthy pursuit.

I also disagree with her statement that morality tends to get short shrift in the self-improvement literature. Whether intended or not, often the effect of such self-help programs is that one becomes, at least marginally, more understanding, patient, tolerant and accepting of others, in addition to oneself.

Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#12
I think part of the issue with the self-help approach is that it's trying to solve a problem that results from changes that are systematic and fundamental to the way humans live, and thus which need to be solved at the level of civilization, not the level of the individual.

In other words, individuals can mitigate the effects of these structural changes for themselves, but probably not ultimately resolve them.

While our shift to more or less utilitarian principles and capitalism has yielded large gains in increased production and higher quality of life, we've lost a great majority of the social structures, practices, and institutions that used to infuse life with meaning.

I've been reading a great deal about this recently in the work of Georges Bataille--when you contrast archaic forms of civilization with our own, some of the differences are striking--while we have much better living conditions, our ancestor's lives were generally much richer in structures that produce meaning (ritual, religion, monarchy, family, village...), and I think humanity is still struggling with their loss. Batialle points out how the biblical phrase "man does not live by bread alone" is really a truism about humanity, whether or not you're religious.

Replace "bread" with "material" and you largely have uncovered the problems of modern society--if you examine your familial and personal relationships you'll recognize that, subversively, so many of them are still attached to the acquisition and expenditure of material and are necessarily subordinate to economic mechanisms, and that pretty much all of man's meaning today is reducible to some form of accumulation, quantity, and possession (i.e. getting 'likes' on facebook--even in the digital world, the metaphor is material and centers around accumulation of a phony resource). Man desires sovereignty, but when he reduces himself to nothing more than a means (i.e. a thing that produces and acquires) and builds all his relationships around this principle, he doesn't actually share in any sovereignty--he makes a mechanism of himself.

I think this sort of dynamic is at the root of a lot of contemporary individual unhappiness.

If you take your time with it, reading philosophy will often yield many insights that I find help one not only grow as a person, but better understand one's being in the world. Actually, philosophy was really the original form of self-help for the ancients--only more effective, because it had attendant belief systems and thus was a set of practices suffuse with meaning (i.e. isms, stoicism, platonism, etc.--self-help books generally don't provide an 'ism' and ultimately don't provide a framework for maneuvering through the world, but rather provide ad hoc techniques which crumble quickly when not predicated on an underlying system for understanding phenomena). Old philosophical self-help wasn't merely a collection of tips on how to make your way through capitalist, isolating, hyper-technical systems without offing yourself--which is really what most (NOTE: NOT ALL) 'self-help' amounts to.

Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#13
post #6

Very Interesting read. I'm someone who has been reading some self-help literature for the past year. Topics include Mindfulness, Buddhism, Stoicism, Social skills, Positive psychology, Habit forming, Assertiveness. I'm in my early 20s, and I justify this phase as un-learning the coping mechanisms/bad habits I formed in my childhood/teen years. Well intentioned but highly critical parents damaged my self-esteem; I als…

There's a lot of very bad pop-sci books on this topic. Do you mind sharing the ones you read and recommend?

It's not "self help", but anything by Alan Watts will help you think of "self" in a very different way.

And again, not self-help, but I love recommending Shop Class as Soulcraft, by Matthew B Crawford, for reconsidering your relationship with work and finding joy in your career. The full book is worth reading, but this essay link gets the gist of it.

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/shop-class-as-so...

Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#15
post #4

tl;dr - I made it about two paragraphs in before I started skimming. It's a rambling an uninteresting rant against the self-help industry, which ends with a recommendation for another self-help book. I fail to see what point the author is trying to make. What is life but a struggle to become the best person one can be? And who cares if the quest kills us? We're all going to die anyway. What else were you going to do…

"Never criticize, condemn, or complain". Does that apply to forum comments on the internet too? I also read Dale's book and wonder about this. I generally agree with you btw.

Only if you're trying to win friends :P

Fortunately this author and I will most likely never cross paths socially or professionally.

Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#16
post #13
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a lot of very bad pop-sci books on this topic. Do you mind sharing the ones you read and recommend?

It's not "self help", but anything by Alan Watts will help you think of "self" in a very different way. And again, not self-help, but I love recommending Shop Class as Soulcraft , by Matthew B Crawford, for reconsidering your relationship with work and finding joy in your career. The full book is worth reading, but this essay link gets the gist of it. https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/shop-class-as-so...

I'll offer a dissenting opinion on the book. I read it, enjoyed it, but thought "this should just be an essay". Then I found the essay and feel it communicates the essential point.

Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#18

Productivity as a term reminds me of collaboration. Just like collaboration isn't teamwork, productivity isn't . Haven't figured out the analogy yet.

productive?

I am often seduced by the promise of productivity porn. The "if I can just get my system right, everything else will be easy" promise. But it rarely actually makes me produce more.

Re: Improving Ourselves to Death

#19
The author sounds a bit defensive. She's portraying self-improvement as robotic self-optimization. What she's really doing is pointing out that there are "get x quick" schemes for self-improvement, just like every other thing. Big surprise!
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