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Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

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Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#11

Post by kyleschiller »

One factor largely absent here (and actually obscured by their choice to interview investment bankers) is the huge amount of financial anxiety facing young people in America.[0]

Crippling student debt, a lack of savings and inability to find high-paying jobs can make the prospects of starting a family or even serious relationship hugely unattractive.

The assertion in this article that Tinder is great because you can hook up “without spending any money,” sounds callous coming from investment bankers, but for a ton of people, that's just the reality of the current dating landscape. If you're focused on paying back loans and working pretty much anywhere other than tech/finance/consulting, it really can feel hard to afford to date the conventional way.

[0]http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/28/pf/financial-anxiety/index.h...

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#12

Post by humanrebar »

Overtonwindow wrote: post #7

The appearance of a limitless supply gives the false confidence that a perfect match will be found. Technology, IMHO, has removed all courtship and romance out of dating. It woukd be interesting to see more of a Tinder of blind dates, no photos, and a requirement that you spend time talking on the phone or texting the perfect before you see their photo.

That more or less described eHarmony, at least as of about a decade ago.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#13

Post by corporateslave3 »

Overtonwindow wrote: post #7

The appearance of a limitless supply gives the false confidence that a perfect match will be found. Technology, IMHO, has removed all courtship and romance out of dating. It woukd be interesting to see more of a Tinder of blind dates, no photos, and a requirement that you spend time talking on the phone or texting the perfect before you see their photo.

Yeah, its a trap generally. In theory your dating matches are limitless, in reality they are much more constrained. This is how the dating atmosphere in NYC generally works, a ton of people with too many mediocre options.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#14

Post by newprint »

jonesin wrote: post #10
newprint wrote: post #3

I am 34 year old male, Baltimore, MD. Read the article. I feel sorry for the both parties. By the time they reach 30, they will be cynical fuckers who don't understand what is family is for. It is impossible to have sex with different women(man) every week and not become cynical to the point, you don't give a damn.

At the same time, after 10 years of no interest in women and vice versa (I'm 30), and watching all my friends and workmates of both sexes go through so much turmoil in their romantic lives, I've become a bitterly cynical fucker. Of course, I haven't ever used any of these apps or websites - maybe I've been left by the wayside because of it. I'm just not interested in finding someone that way - I've no interest in a r…

You can't become Cynical fucker. Go through the turmoil. I am 34/M. And had few women in my live. I meet a love of my love from Switzerland, 34F. Nothing worked out, I was left devastated. But it is best experience in my life(35y/o.M). Do it. You will become a better man. Majority of my friend divorced by the time they reach 35-40. They have kids. They have someone to look after AND they have kids that will look after them !!!

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#15

Post by barry-cotter »

newprint wrote: post #3

I am 34 year old male, Baltimore, MD. Read the article. I feel sorry for the both parties. By the time they reach 30, they will be cynical fuckers who don't understand what is family is for. It is impossible to have sex with different women(man) every week and not become cynical to the point, you don't give a damn.

It's totally possible. It may not be the common outcome but it absolutely happens. I do know one guy who appears to be permanently ruined for exclusive relationships but equally one of my best friends easily had sex with over a 100 women before he met his wife, possibly 200. I'm sure Tindr is full of messed up people but that's as much humanity as Tindr.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#17

Post by closeparen »

Overtonwindow wrote: post #7

The appearance of a limitless supply gives the false confidence that a perfect match will be found. Technology, IMHO, has removed all courtship and romance out of dating. It woukd be interesting to see more of a Tinder of blind dates, no photos, and a requirement that you spend time talking on the phone or texting the perfect before you see their photo.

>no photos

We have other kinds of relationships for when sexuality need not be involved. It seems like a huge waste for people to make all that time investment in a romantic context when there is not even mutual sexual interest.

People looking for purely companionate or utilitarian relationships can still find friends, roommates, and coworkers the old fashioned way.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#18

Post by newprint »

barry-cotter wrote: post #15
newprint wrote: post #3

I am 34 year old male, Baltimore, MD. Read the article. I feel sorry for the both parties. By the time they reach 30, they will be cynical fuckers who don't understand what is family is for. It is impossible to have sex with different women(man) every week and not become cynical to the point, you don't give a damn.

It's totally possible. It may not be the common outcome but it absolutely happens. I do know one guy who appears to be permanently ruined for exclusive relationships but equally one of my best friends easily had sex with over a 100 women before he met his wife, possibly 200. I'm sure Tindr is full of messed up people but that's as much humanity as Tindr.

I wish good luck to your friend. Truly. Women I met Switzerland, who slept with at least football team of men, desperately wanted to have family and another child. She could not comprehend, why I would not propose to her on the 2nd month of of dating. After few months, she ran away, found another men, sent me a pics of her wedding rind, another man. Soon her engagement fell apart. People become cynical to the point, they don't understand what is going on, what is relationship is for.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#19

Post by shubb »

corporateslave3 wrote: post #13
Overtonwindow wrote: post #7

The appearance of a limitless supply gives the false confidence that a perfect match will be found. Technology, IMHO, has removed all courtship and romance out of dating. It woukd be interesting to see more of a Tinder of blind dates, no photos, and a requirement that you spend time talking on the phone or texting the perfect before you see their photo.

Yeah, its a trap generally. In theory your dating matches are limitless, in reality they are much more constrained. This is how the dating atmosphere in NYC generally works, a ton of people with too many mediocre options.

Aren't you really saying that they are narcissists?

The job market is a bit like this - a lot of job opennings and a lot of applicants.

If all of the jobs you are qualified for are beneath you, then you need to fix your head. And if you want stability, but the only jobs that pay what you deserve are short terms contracts, then you need to consider your priorities.

We tell people not to settle, because getting deeply emotionally involved with someone unsuitable ends painfully. As does trying a committed relationship and realizing that you could do better.

But 'settling' for someone as attractive, clever, funny and sane as you are is not settling.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#20

Post by stepanhruda »

corporateslave3 wrote: post #13
Overtonwindow wrote: post #7

The appearance of a limitless supply gives the false confidence that a perfect match will be found. Technology, IMHO, has removed all courtship and romance out of dating. It woukd be interesting to see more of a Tinder of blind dates, no photos, and a requirement that you spend time talking on the phone or texting the perfect before you see their photo.

Yeah, its a trap generally. In theory your dating matches are limitless, in reality they are much more constrained. This is how the dating atmosphere in NYC generally works, a ton of people with too many mediocre options.

Saw an article recently stating

* bottom 80% of the men all compete for 20% of the women who actually respond to them

* the other 80% of the women only respond to the top 20% of the men

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