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Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

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Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#11
1. It says that an apology is not of itself an admission of guilt. But it doesn't say that an apology can't be used as one piece of evidence of negligence/wrong-doing.

2. This document conflates negligent/avoidable mistakes with situations where "there has been an unintended or unexpected event" and "includes recognised complications referred to in the consent process". In the latter cases, "I'm sorry" is an expression of sympathy, not a true apology.

3. These sort of apologies are required by statute. How meaningful can they be?

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#12
post #5
post #4

I'm sorry, but what's the point of this?

In the US, doctors will not tell you if they made a mistake and caused your condition to worsen, or if the mistake caused the death of your loved one. In the UK, doctors are allowed (and by the looks of this memo, expressly encouraged) to inform the patient of their mistakes and to apologize.

In the UK there is a requirement - the duty of candour - to tell people a mistake has been made, and to apologise for it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duty_of_candour

I posted it here because I've seen a bunch of apologies also posted to HN recently, and most of them were lousy.

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#13

This is really not relevant to anyone but healthcare professionals in the UK...

Many people need to apologise. Most of those people haven't just killed a relative of yours, or caused you physical harm - they've maybe deleted your data or closed your account or charged you too much.

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#15
post #5
post #4

I'm sorry, but what's the point of this?

In the US, doctors will not tell you if they made a mistake and caused your condition to worsen, or if the mistake caused the death of your loved one. In the UK, doctors are allowed (and by the looks of this memo, expressly encouraged) to inform the patient of their mistakes and to apologize.

That's because of the lawsuit culture in the US, apologizing for a mistake admits wrongdoing and could expose you to millions of dollars in damages.

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#16
Why be sorry? It's an admission of guilt and weakness. Take a page out of Donald Trump's book - never be sorry for anything. You do what you do and the others can deal with it. That gets you the presidency in today's world, it seems. I don't even want to get political here but the US elections have shown me how you get ahead in life.

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#17
I know the context of the PDF is a little different, but towards making the sentiment more broadly applicable, I'd suggest that an ability to own up to a mistake of any sort is a very useful professional "skill". Lacking that skill, it can be much more difficult to correct a problem before it becomes an issue (You hesitate, because a change implies the pre-change situation was "wrong") Once there's an issue, it also makes the cleanup much harder, more awkward, etc.

If you practice being comfortable saying something like, "I'm sorry, I overlooked X. I'm fixing it now, and will do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again" then your professional and personal life may be just a tad smoother. All of this implies, and requires, a mindset that is self-aware enough to evaluate itself. That can be the difficult part, that requires regular practice and resistance of instincts to go on the defensive and justify something, even if it was "right" at the time, if circumstances now show otherwise.

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#19
post #16

Why be sorry? It's an admission of guilt and weakness. Take a page out of Donald Trump's book - never be sorry for anything. You do what you do and the others can deal with it. That gets you the presidency in today's world, it seems. I don't even want to get political here but the US elections have shown me how you get ahead in life.

Do we really need another political flamewar here? I don't think we do.

Re: Saying Sorry When Things Go Wrong [pdf]

#20

I know the context of the PDF is a little different, but towards making the sentiment more broadly applicable, I'd suggest that an ability to own up to a mistake of any sort is a very useful professional "skill". Lacking that skill, it can be much more difficult to correct a problem before it becomes an issue (You hesitate, because a change implies the pre-change situation was "wrong") Once there's an issue, it also…

For me the key work skill is a willingness to answer "I don't know".

People that can't say that when they don't know the answer are inevitably pompous time-wasters.

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