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Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

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Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#11

Post by Shanbo »

DrScump wrote: post #8

I have saved ~2 million in the bank If that's in U.S. dollars, you can do whatever you want, within very broad limits. For perspective, you can overspend by $50,000 a year for 40 years and still have all the compounded interest left. Your angst seems unwarranted.

I just feel absolutely horrible that I'm not doing anything. It's like I'm watching all the opportunity pass by. I know I should have been part of the early tech scene. Instead I was stuck in hell with a mega neurotic family who still tries to control me to this day. It doesn't affect me as much now, because I learned about their disorders and why they are that way, and I learned about my own disorders, mostly inherited from their psychotic ways. But now I have nothing other than money being managed by some CFA whom has done a relatively decent job, but is badly outdated (I have to do all of the performance tracking on my own). So if the market has a bad crash, things aren't going to go so well for me. I have thought about just taking over the account and making my own investments, or just putting it into a bank until I figure out what I'm going to do. It stresses me to no end.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#13

Post by val314159 »

alva wrote: post #2

If you have a short-let in NYC I would suggest considering international travel for a bit. Can help clear the head, give you a new perspective on your depression and perhaps more importantly, give you some sense of agency. It doesn't suit everyone but might be worth thinking about.

That seems like it's clipped from a "You Can Do Anything!" article. He said he's full up on Generic Business Magazine advice.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#14

Post by dang »

pastaziti wrote: post #10

Hn is actively hostile to newcomers. Don't take it personal and don't question it. Just lower your expectations and be happy.

That's untrue and a nasty thing to post.

We detached this comment from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13945589 and marked it off-topic.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#15

Post by zzleeper »

Shanbo wrote: post #11
DrScump wrote: post #8

I have saved ~2 million in the bank If that's in U.S. dollars, you can do whatever you want, within very broad limits. For perspective, you can overspend by $50,000 a year for 40 years and still have all the compounded interest left. Your angst seems unwarranted.

I just feel absolutely horrible that I'm not doing anything. It's like I'm watching all the opportunity pass by. I know I should have been part of the early tech scene. Instead I was stuck in hell with a mega neurotic family who still tries to control me to this day. It doesn't affect me as much now, because I learned about their disorders and why they are that way, and I learned about my own disorders, mostly inheri…

"Being managed by some CFA"? Dude wtf?

Just go into an index fund and pay 0.05% management fees... how much are you paying in fees right now? 2%? That's like 1/3 of whatever you earn from the market on average (if inflation is 2%, and the SP500 pays 8% a year on avg, then just by dumping the CFA and going to an index you get 50% more per year in real terms)

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#17

Post by zzleeper »

I think a lot of one's happiness comes from having a purpose and feeling useful/productive in some way ("achieving something").

A few things on top of the other good replies:

- Uninstall wow/hearth and never look back; the addiction traps you

- Get some hobbies that are non-addictive.

- With entrepreneurship, you learn more on a month of doing than on a year of reading.

- Get a job, or create one for yourself. You can write a book, you can learn web coding, join a startup. What do you want to do? what thing is both something you could do well and make you happy?

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#18

Post by Shanbo »

zzleeper wrote: post #15
Shanbo wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just feel absolutely horrible that I'm not doing anything. It's like I'm watching all the opportunity pass by. I know I should have been part of the early tech scene. Instead I was stuck in hell with a mega neurotic family who still tries to control me to this day. It doesn't affect me as much now, because I learned about their disorders and why they are that way, and I learned about my own disorders, mostly inheri…

"Being managed by some CFA"? Dude wtf? Just go into an index fund and pay 0.05% management fees... how much are you paying in fees right now? 2%? That's like 1/3 of whatever you earn from the market on average (if inflation is 2%, and the SP500 pays 8% a year on avg, then just by dumping the CFA and going to an index you get 50% more per year in real terms)

1%, but he's outperformed the usual indexes, vanguard, S&P etc by a considerable amount, so it has worked thus far.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#19

Post by Shanbo »

zzleeper wrote: post #17

I think a lot of one's happiness comes from having a purpose and feeling useful/productive in some way ("achieving something"). A few things on top of the other good replies: - Uninstall wow/hearth and never look back; the addiction traps you - Get some hobbies that are non-addictive. - With entrepreneurship, you learn more on a month of doing than on a year of reading. - Get a job, or create one for yourself. You ca…

Oh, yea, I don't game anymore I should have mentioned. That is done. I am only doing positive things now.

I'm not even sure what I want to do or what I can do well. I know I'm good at pattern recognition and reading other people. My math skills aren't super strong, but I think I could change that. My english/writing potential is very high, but I haven't spent enough time writing to be skilled. I don't know if I would like it.

I think I need to force myself to experiment for short periods of time like the scientific method and evaluate after, not during.

I think part of my problem is that I've never learned to work for the sake of work itself. Everything in my life has always been to prove that I am 'good enough', to prove against feelings of unworthiness that pervade me, to beat the other person. But when it comes to beating myself, I suppose I have never given myself enough respect to attempt that. And it's unfortunate because that's the only worthwhile endeavor.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a humiliating situation, and I can't commit

#20

Post by Shanbo »

CyberFonic wrote: post #9

You deserve a compliment for saving $2m. As DrScump & icedchai suggest you do HAVE some easy options. From your narrative, I get the impression that you have not received professional therapy. If that is the case, then you should really get some competent help. A dependancy on gaming is not a good sign. Here's my take: You have a professional degree and are able to earn a good income (as your savings attest) you coul…

I am in professional therapy right now, someone who specializes in personality disorders, so right up my alley. I am not dependent on gaming anymore, I quit all of that cold turkey. My degree was in oil and gas, and that industry is in the shitter and when I quit, I told myself I would die on the street trying to do something else rather than go back. I don't respect the leaders in that industry, I don't like the goal of the work there, it's just not something I could do. Would rather die.

>Entrepreneurship, especially in programming related tech has very little chance of success, something like 0.1%

I just don't care much about polls and stuff. For what every big time entrepreneur has done, noone thought they could pull it off.

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