How to do a PhD

I'm not writing a thesis, but a book on teaching coding, and this one point is really important. One of my chapters was on the cognitive benefits of writing software code--which I assumed were great because of Seymor Papert ("Mindstorms") and Ted Nelson's ("Computer Lib/Dream Machines") glowing enthusiasm for teaching kids how to code.

I started writing the chapter and had to get into the literature to find references to support the idea that learning to code carried concrete cognitive benefits. The research was extremely mixed, with one survey of the literature being highly critical of Papert for assuming so many benefits when the research was not finding that at all. I ended up having to stop everything and just read papers for a week to understand what science really knew about the subject. When I went back to rewrite my chapter, I had to temper my own enthusiasm and add numerous qualifications and cautions about my claims considering the evidence.

I'm happy for the experience as my thoughts on the subject are much more highly nuanced now, but it was very disheartening at first.

Universities also exploit people who depend on academic success for self-worth and validation. The head games that advisors play to goad graduate students on to do more work can be pretty unscrupulous. The very fact that universities can convince some of the smartest (if not those most possessing in common sense) people to work long hours for below minimum wage, while learning a body of knowledge of dubious value, is pretty amazing when I look back at it.

In the real world, people pay you good money to do PhD level work. Job security and low work loads aren't on offer if you do an expected value calculation factoring in all of the tenure washouts. The only thing graduate programs offer in return for collapsing highly educated wages is an infinitesimal chance at fame. It is no less an exploitative championship system than professional sports or Hollywood.

I think the only good reason to seek a PhD is for altruistic reasons, to expand human knowledge. But keep in mind that you are choosing the life of a 21st century cleric, with its attendant material deprivation and very good chance of never marrying or having a family.

That is, in principle all points make sense, but they are either truism, too obvious, too vague or things that are out of control. (If I had read it before starting my PhD it wouldn't have changed a thing).

Or maybe I am overly skeptical of simplistic life-advice? Is there any take-home message that changed your way of acting?

The test would be difficult--maybe like the CA bar, NY bar? Harder!

It would save a lot of money.

It would save a lot confusion about a person's abilities. Right now, I look at a fresh, young PhD with a lot of skeptism. Actually, I just fiqure it's a rich kid who wanted to stay in school. If the PhD is gotten later in life, and the thesis is a actually original, I admire the extra effort.

Why did I bring this up. Some of the worst Instructors, and insufferable people have come across have been PhD's. And in pretty much every field the Master's degreed candidate knows just as much as the PhD, and you put them in a room, and the there's a lot of laughter over the the whole Dr. thing.

Plus, I'm tired of calling someone a Doctor who isn't a MD. Actually these days, with extreme specialization; lets get rid of Dr.? In my world, a Doctor who didn't specialize is an experienced nurse, or PA.

I had a girlfriend whom killed so many animals for her thesis. Literally hundreds. She would tell me these stories in bed--until I told her "Enough--I just don't want to know." It's was all to get that title. She wanted that title so bad.

Did you know in the the bio sciences, after some wannabe researcher tests his/her drug/procedure on an animal, the animal is bashed over the head, so when the pathology/histology/whatever is performed---the brain/tissue is not contaminated in any way? They couldn't even use CO2, or Helium to kill the animal. At the time the students were going to lab using tunnels around the school, so they would have to look at the protestors--at least that's what she told me. She told me she felt empowered killing the animals at the time. Why--because the reward would be great. Being called a Dr! I never quite looked at her the same way after these forced conversations. I would wake up in that cold, damp, marina apartment, with all her goth artwork hanging around the bed; and sometimes I thought she was a actually a witch. She worked very hard at the whole witch thing at the time. All that doesn't matter.

I was just astonished at the cruelty that went on in those labs, all so the students could get that PhD. I once asked her about the "original research" that goes on. She laughed hysterically. I was so wrong she pointed out. She then caught herself, and said "Well, maybe someone was doing something original?"

Well, after the money ran out, and the realization she was no scientist, she moved to San Francisco and partied through the late 90's/2000's. She is now stuck with a lot of debt.

She is also a vegan. Well, she's not quite a vegan. She eats Salmon for her dry hair. Not quite a vegan? And yes, I got an earful, when I brought that up. I was just tired of her telling everyone, "I'm a vegan!" She further told people she was a PhD. I knew, and she knew, but wanted that title so bad, even when she didn't get it she would tell people she was a PhD. The funny thing is she isn't crazy. She actually gets paid pretty well, but thankfully, not in her field of study, with her magical PhD.

She was beautiful though. I remember thinking, why am I with her? I didn't think I was a shallow person. I guess I am.

You should fix a lot of other things first (in particular, prefered methodology and advisor) and then, after fixing those things, choose applications toward the left-hand side. A few reasons:

1. If you're doing it for hype alone you will be miserable. Ph.D. students tend to be out ahead of pretty much everyone in terms of the nitty gritty details, so they often hit the trough of disillusionment right around the time everyone else is at the top of the hype curve.

2. A Ph.D. is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be paid (sometimes comfortably) to work on (mostly) whatever you want. If it's not at least a little self-indulgent, you're wasting a great opportunity.

3. You'll have the rest of your life to chase the next sexy thing.