I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12 • Hacker News Board

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#11

Post by sandworm101 » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:45 AM UTC

Mithaldu wrote: post #6

End result: The thing resolved itself, likely because someone else sued her stalker. I have to wonder though: If her local police was ignorant of actual laws applying to her case, as she indicated, couldn't she just tell the officers under which exact laws she is making a complaint? Further, if the local police is generally ignorant and incompetent, what would her chances for success be in using a lawyer to try and i…

>>> if the local police is generally ignorant and incompetent, what would her chances for success be in using a lawyer to try and identify appropiate channels and contacting them?

Not great, but certainly better than the nothing offered by police. This situation seems to have ended when another victim took the steps to launch a lawsuit. Lawyers can do many things. This defendant was identified. She knew who he was. Legal threats are not fun. They aren't like being arrested, but are still not pleasant. The stalker gets the threat, seeks his own lawyer, and quickly realizes how deep he is into this thing.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#12

Post by wheat74 » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:45 AM UTC

rory096 wrote: post #10

arbre wrote: post #8

There should be laws against this. A judge should be able to tell when a behavior is harassment, and forbid the harasser from contacting the person again with more severe charges if he does again.

There are – that's a restraining order.

I think that's the point he was making. I think his post was saying she should have pursued that sometime during those years of stalking.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#13

Post by Mithaldu » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:47 AM UTC

sandworm101 wrote: post #11

Mithaldu wrote: post #6

End result: The thing resolved itself, likely because someone else sued her stalker. I have to wonder though: If her local police was ignorant of actual laws applying to her case, as she indicated, couldn't she just tell the officers under which exact laws she is making a complaint? Further, if the local police is generally ignorant and incompetent, what would her chances for success be in using a lawyer to try and i…

>>> if the local police is generally ignorant and incompetent, what would her chances for success be in using a lawyer to try and identify appropiate channels and contacting them? Not great, but certainly better than the nothing offered by police. This situation seems to have ended when another victim took the steps to launch a lawsuit. Lawyers can do many things. This defendant was identified. She knew who he was. L…

Ok, so she wasn't out of options. Just hadn't reached for the more expensive sticks yet.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#14

Post by tempestn » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:47 AM UTC

fiatmoney wrote: post #5

Most of these amount to libel, at worst. File suit. There are excellent reasons for police to be uninvolved in what amounts to people saying mean things, even if those mean things are directed at your employer or friends.

If it were a one-off incident I would agree with you. But a consistent pattern like this over years is stalking, and either is or should be a crime. In my opinion this clearly summarizes why:

> For Franks, a big theme is that the “fundamental feeling of security that most people take for granted is taken away.” She has spoken to hundreds, maybe thousands, of victims in her research, who describe constant feelings “having to look over one’s shoulder” that keep them from engaging fully in their lives, online or off.

I feel that's true even if you don't believe that the stalker will try to physically harm you. There is a huge emotional toll to dealing with that kind of thing, and it's not something that should just be tolerated.

(That said, I recognize that police have limited resources, so putting more toward this would mean less for something else, or an increase in funding.)

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#15

Post by JabavuAdams » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:56 AM UTC

fiatmoney wrote: post #5

Most of these amount to libel, at worst. File suit. There are excellent reasons for police to be uninvolved in what amounts to people saying mean things, even if those mean things are directed at your employer or friends.

The problem is that this kind of behaviour is a sign of an underlying mental illness.

The victim's feeling that the situation was unlikely to escalate into violence may have no basis in reality.

Kind of like people who get all surprised when (not-quite-tamed) animals attack people.

I'd feel very uncomfortable with a loose end like this.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#16

Post by sandworm101 » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:56 AM UTC

Mithaldu wrote: post #13

sandworm101 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>>> if the local police is generally ignorant and incompetent, what would her chances for success be in using a lawyer to try and identify appropiate channels and contacting them? Not great, but certainly better than the nothing offered by police. This situation seems to have ended when another victim took the steps to launch a lawsuit. Lawyers can do many things. This defendant was identified. She knew who he was. L…

Ok, so she wasn't out of options. Just hadn't reached for the more expensive sticks yet.

They are not that expensive. She know the guy. No investigation is needed. A lawyer won't charge much to put a scary demand letter together, maybe a couple hundred at most but probably much less in such a situation.

Going to a lawyer first, before the police, could also have softened much of that horrific experience. Going to the police WITH your lawyer also makes a real difference. It will at least get you past the reporting window and talking to an actual investigator. I did this sort of thing while a law student. Cops take lawyers much more seriously than victims. it's Wrong, it's harsh, but that is reality.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#17

Post by ryan-allen » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:56 AM UTC

brandonmenc wrote: post #2

Seems like a great opportunity for a company that "bounty hunts" cyberstalkers - tracks them down then physically intimidates them for you.

I would expect that this happens more often than not, but via friends and family. If someone was stalking or harassing one of my sisters we'd find a way of handling it, legal or no.

It's not preferable but if it's the only way to get results... Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#18

Post by JabavuAdams » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 2:59 AM UTC

brandonmenc wrote: post #2

Seems like a great opportunity for a company that "bounty hunts" cyberstalkers - tracks them down then physically intimidates them for you.

Interesting idea, but there's no way to do this legally, and it would be prone to horrible abuses.

Also, if someone is dangerous enough to intimidate ... well, you don't want to intimidate them and risk having them escalate back. Following that logic, you only end up in one place.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#19

Post by sandworm101 » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 3:01 AM UTC

Am I the only one who thinks this sounds a little too perfect? A totally sympathetic female victim, the evil older male, the dismissive male police force ... it reads like a movie. I'm probably too jaded by such stories on the internet, but if she was in my office I would probably have a few questions. Of course if she was in my office then it would be far more than a story I read on the internet.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#20

Post by JabavuAdams » Wed, Mar 02, 2016, 3:01 AM UTC

ryan-allen wrote: post #17

brandonmenc wrote: post #2

Seems like a great opportunity for a company that "bounty hunts" cyberstalkers - tracks them down then physically intimidates them for you.

I would expect that this happens more often than not, but via friends and family. If someone was stalking or harassing one of my sisters we'd find a way of handling it, legal or no. It's not preferable but if it's the only way to get results... Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.

Yes, in specific cases this might be the right answer. However we have to say "No, rule of law, blah blah" because we don't want everyone doing it or we're back to a tribal society with vendettas and blood-feuds.