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Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

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Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#11
From my limited experience - bullying is prevented by having friends. Groups of people don't get bullied, loners get bullied.

Once you develop a little circle of friends, you'll largely be left alone.

So the key is to give people enough time to develop friendships - in Russia, I had the same classmates, give or take, for years. The students were separated into gradations of capacity where those who got straight As (in Russia it's a 2-5 gradation, for F-A) were put into the same class after a couple of years.

This way, smart kids end up with smart kids and those who don't do so well, end up with those who don't do so well, but then their curriculum is made a bit easier so everyone is happy.

What I experienced in Canada is that you are thrown from one set of kids to another every year and as a result, you know everyone but you don't know anyone. The 'cool' kids here were determined by looks and clothes largely because most classes were a complete waste of time.

If you made school challenging enough that those who did well were respected and those struggling, made to feel like they need to keep up and give kids enough time to get to know the same people (5+ years) - a lot of these problems would go away.

Russia is far more aggressive than Canada and violence much more common - and yet everyone I knew was ok. You come to Canada, everyone is babysat their entire lives to a point where people remain infantile in their actions and worldview - to a point where you need to implement rules of conduct in a workplace. Do you really not know how to act by the time you're 25? Should've gotten beat up a few times as a kid...

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#12

"Many K-12 school efforts to reduce bullying have proven not very effective, leading educators to wonder what bullying prevention approach works best." Could that be because the efforts have focused on having students, mostly those not subject to bullying, stop the bullying? My view is that only teachers and administrators can stop it, and further that teachers and administrators have informal policies that actually…

"Could that be because the efforts have focused on having students, mostly those not subject to bullying, stop the bullying?"

The article didn't go into a whole lot of detail on the other less effective programs. But it did talk about how this program was effective precisely because it focused on students instead of focusing on punishment[1].

[1] I realize punishment isn't the only way to get teachers and administrators involved, but it does seem like programs focusing on punishment would have to get teachers and administrators involved.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#13
post #7

"Many K-12 school efforts to reduce bullying have proven not very effective, leading educators to wonder what bullying prevention approach works best." Could that be because the efforts have focused on having students, mostly those not subject to bullying, stop the bullying? My view is that only teachers and administrators can stop it, and further that teachers and administrators have informal policies that actually…

The budget and political will aren't there to do much more than they already do. A detention here and there, kid's back in class the next day. Parents of bullies are usually uncooperative , to say the least. Combative and with shocking amounts of free time, more often. Academic stats (and therefore budget) suffer just as much for the school regardless of whether the reason two dozen kids did a step worse on the stand…

Haven't you just confirmed that in your opinion, the problem is that the teachers and administration can't or won't do anything, so they're doing "bullying theater", and handing off the problem to all the pencil-necked bystanders, who really have no business intervening, and lots of motivation not to intervene?

What a ludicrous situation.

Personally, I don't even believe the "fear of lawsuits" thing. I was in middle school in the mid-70s, in Missouri. The crustier teachers still gave out "swats" as punishment. No fear of a lawsuit there.

Bullying was more or less winked at, depending on who was getting bullied. You don't have to believe me, but I saw a PE "teacher" walk in on a football player banging a poor kid's head into the wall, repeatedly. The "teacher" checked to see who was getting beaten, then walked away quietly.

Bullying exists to preserve the power structure that teachers and administrators are part of, which extends from outside the school in. "Bullying Theater" isn't going to stop it, or even mitigate the problem, it's only going to make things worse, because after the theater takes place, then teachers and admins can legally wash their hands of it all, and blame the bystanders, as well as the victims.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#14
post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The budget and political will aren't there to do much more than they already do. A detention here and there, kid's back in class the next day. Parents of bullies are usually uncooperative , to say the least. Combative and with shocking amounts of free time, more often. Academic stats (and therefore budget) suffer just as much for the school regardless of whether the reason two dozen kids did a step worse on the stand…

Haven't you just confirmed that in your opinion, the problem is that the teachers and administration can't or won't do anything, so they're doing "bullying theater", and handing off the problem to all the pencil-necked bystanders, who really have no business intervening, and lots of motivation not to intervene? What a ludicrous situation. Personally, I don't even believe the "fear of lawsuits" thing. I was in middle…

> Haven't you just confirmed that in your opinion, the problem is that the teachers and administration can't or won't do anything, so they're doing "bullying theater", and handing off the problem to all the pencil-necked bystanders, who really have no business intervening, and lots of motivation not to intervene?

Oh, totally agree. The end result is awful, regardless of the reasons.

> Personally, I don't even believe the "fear of lawsuits" thing. I was in middle school in the mid-70s, in Missouri. The crustier teachers still gave out "swats" as punishment. No fear of a lawsuit there.

This ain't the 70s. Such a teacher's ass would get fired very quickly. And it's not just lawsuits—parents can and will go to the media, and sometimes they print what they say, especially if something can be framed (justly or not, doesn't matter) as racism.

> Bullying was more or less winked at, depending on who was getting bullied. You don't have to believe me, but I saw a PE "teacher" walk in on a football player banging a poor kid's head into the wall, repeatedly. The "teacher" checked to see who was getting beaten, then walked away quietly.

I'm sure this happens—I've seen too many accounts of it to believe otherwise. As with things like e.g. the power of teacher's unions to protect bad teachers, I have a feeling the facts-on-the-ground for this issue vary greatly across the country, and even district-by-district and school-by-school.

I doubt many teachers have a desire to preserve some power structure that involves bullying, though some might—usually they'd rather the bullies be removed from their class entirely. They're no fun for teachers, and their parents are usually even less fun. Mostly they want to go home feeling like the kids learned well that day, and bullies and other troublemakers are a leading obstacle to that. Effective responses to bullying aren't even available, though. Send 'em to the office, maybe a detention. Take away some recesses in lower grades. Talk to their parents, but their parents usually back them up and just get pissed off at the teacher (typically accusing them of racism when possible) so that's just tons of fun and so productive. That's about all they've got, and all it does is buy them (and the kids) a few hours at best.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#15
The way this problem is framed is as if bullying were limited to school children and should only be addressed within the narrow scope of the classroom. The reality is bullies grow up and becomes adults and help run society. You cannot separate children from the influences of society at large.

Bully: a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

synonyms:persecutor, oppressor, tyrant, tormentor, intimidator

It seems to come down to the question: "does might make right?"; The same question (among others) which led to Socrates execution.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#16

From my limited experience - bullying is prevented by having friends. Groups of people don't get bullied, loners get bullied. Once you develop a little circle of friends, you'll largely be left alone. So the key is to give people enough time to develop friendships - in Russia, I had the same classmates, give or take, for years. The students were separated into gradations of capacity where those who got straight As (i…

From what I recall of highschool here in Australia, students are deliberately rotated and mixed up as much as possible to prevent cliques and long-term rivalries from forming. A teacher once told me this makes it easier to assert control.

While I would have preferred the other way back then as a student, I wonder what the statistics say, in terms of outcomes. My gut feeling is that it reduces the outliers in student relationships (long-term sexual relationships, cycles of revenge, etc) that cause the school expensive problems.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#17
post #4

Maybe such a program would be helpful. What I see in depictions of physical bullying is that most people nearby not only don't intervene, they record the incident for subsequent online posting (i.e. self attention-seeking) -- not only a lack of empathy but a self-centered response. Society would certainly benefit from some evolution on that plane.

If the bystanders weren't the kind of people that record the incident instead of helping, you wouldn't have seen the depictions.

So the good news is that the amount of physical bullying that happens is probably overestimated. The bad news is that non-physical bullying is underestimated.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#18
post #16

From my limited experience - bullying is prevented by having friends. Groups of people don't get bullied, loners get bullied. Once you develop a little circle of friends, you'll largely be left alone. So the key is to give people enough time to develop friendships - in Russia, I had the same classmates, give or take, for years. The students were separated into gradations of capacity where those who got straight As (i…

From what I recall of highschool here in Australia, students are deliberately rotated and mixed up as much as possible to prevent cliques and long-term rivalries from forming. A teacher once told me this makes it easier to assert control. While I would have preferred the other way back then as a student, I wonder what the statistics say, in terms of outcomes. My gut feeling is that it reduces the outliers in student…

What you refer to as cliques - are actually friendships. Friendships and socializing, are hugely important.

When you keep having to make new friends every year - you only learn to develop shallow relationships.

This is a huge problem with consequences no anti-bullying campaign or work-etiquette pamphlet is ever going to solve.

As for rivalries and cycles of revenge - can you give an example of what that'd look like? I personally haven't experienced either.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#19

The way this problem is framed is as if bullying were limited to school children and should only be addressed within the narrow scope of the classroom. The reality is bullies grow up and becomes adults and help run society. You cannot separate children from the influences of society at large. Bully: a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. synonyms:persecutor, oppressor, tyrant,…

Yeah, to an extent, but this idea that school is "the real world" is totally overblown - I've never been as exposed to the threat of violence, cliques, drugs, etc as I was in school.

Dealing with a asshole boss etc is nothing like that, and imho the school environment itself makes it worse.

Re: Anti-bullying program focused on bystanders helps students who need it most

#20

The way this problem is framed is as if bullying were limited to school children and should only be addressed within the narrow scope of the classroom. The reality is bullies grow up and becomes adults and help run society. You cannot separate children from the influences of society at large. Bully: a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. synonyms:persecutor, oppressor, tyrant,…

Honest, critical feedback. I can't put it any other way. Based on reading multiple posts by you over the past few days.

You're not nearly as quality of a communicator as Alan Watts, not nearly as good of a thinker, not nearly as insightful as he.

Since you're still green, I recommend just making a new name, and then continuing to do the internet forum philosophizing you do under some other name. That's my best honest recommendation, not trying to say you're bad at communicating, thinking, or being insightful, when compared to everyone else in general.

Just it bugs me to see someone posting regularly, philosophizing, under that name. So let your content exist, but under a new name. While you're still green.

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