How I Feel as Young Father Involved in Early-stage Startup

A couple of friends from the HN community & IRC helped edit this piece. Just thought I'd share with others as well.

My son is a few months old and I work for an early-stage start-up. Man, stop coding at 2am - what you're hacking will need re-hacking in the morning. Go home to your daughter. There will always be tasks on your board. The only sure thing is your daughter will grow up - quicker than your start-up will fail.

It's a beautiful piece. I well remember that same feeling. I've been meaning for some time to write a piece about what my "startup dedication" (more accurately, my workaholism) cost me: friends, divorce (and a lot of money with that one), self respect, peace of mind... Always seem to have a difficult time finding the words. It's good that you found your own words, but know when to say when. It doesn't have to be this hard.

I too am a young father, my daughter is almost 10 months old. Last week I just recently left the startup I was a part of. I was getting paid an alright salary for it being an early startup who had raised funding or launched yet. I made it a point to make sure I didn't stay late at the office unless it was an absolutely necessity. So I didn't have the extreme hours to deal with, but rather the uncertainty... Not knowing if your next paycheck is going to be one of your lasts or not is not a way I want to live. Having a family to provide for is a bigger and much more important job than grinding out code for a startup that has the potential to be big.

Because of the uncertainty and risks that come with working in a startup, I pursued other options. I ended up talking with a smaller software development agency here that has the startup atmosphere in the office (doesnt feel like some corporate job). They are very well off and there is very little chance of them failing or running out of work. The increased salary and full benefits were easily enough for me to leave the startup where I had a slightly less salary, but 20% equity. The 20% equity definitely had the potential to have some huge payoffs, but I wouldn't see those for atleast 5 years, and I much rather have guaranteed stability now rather than hoping for it to come later.

this is a feeling that every father have: the contradiction between beeing with our family and trying to make a better future for them, just find a balance soon