You Can't Fix People
blackhole12.blogspot.com
You Can't Fix People
1–10 of 34 posts
Re: You Can't Fix People
#2Oh man, I really enjoyed reading this because I've felt the exact same way most of my life (as a matter of fact, I still do feel this way quite often).
Dealing with people is incredibly hard because everyone has biases, experiences, and lives of their own -- and regardless of how much you try to put yourself into someone else's shoes -- to understand why this person is the way they are -- there is simply no way to ever truly understand how someone feels and acts.
People can be hateful, ignorant, and mean to one another -- but at the same time, people can also be kinda, loving, and compassionate.
I've found that the best way to get around the constant anxiety that goes along with wanting to help and fix everyone I come across is to try my best to be accepting of people the way they are.
Nowadays when I meet new people, I try to have no expectations: instead of building up a mental image of this person in my head, and assigning them an identity (this person is nice, or this person is smart, or whatever) -- I instead try to be fully present in the moment and let things happen as they will.
Not only does this help me deal with social anxiety a lot, but also helps me relax and feel more comfortable about myself, knowing that I'm constantly trying to live in the moment, accept reality (and people) as they are, and live my life the way I choose regardless of outside influences.
It's incredibly hard to do this, but all the effort pays off (at least it does for me).
Thank you for sharing your story.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#3The cascading narcissism is ridiculous, but then the paranoia shows itself...
They will do everything in their power to destroy all my efforts at building a better world
...and it just becomes kind of pathetic.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#4You can talk with people.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#5The cascading narcissism is ridiculous, but then the paranoia shows itself... They will do everything in their power to destroy all my efforts at building a better world ...and it just becomes kind of pathetic.
Thank you for an excellent illustration of the sort of negativity that the author is attempting to point out.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#6You could have done without the first three paragraphs.
Other than that...I'm not sure what else to comment. Of course you can't fix people. If we could, we'd live in a utopia where everyone was happy and operated efficiently.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#7You can talk with people.
Yeah, and that's literally the least you can do. You can't 'fix' people, but you can certainly do a HELL of a lot more than complain about or simply reject people as un-'fix'-able. Seriously... air quotes aren't enough: don't say fix people. You don't fix people, you interact and engage with them. Or as ChrisAntaki says: you talk with them.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#8You can't fix people, but you can fix a person. It's the same as saying you can't create a usable UI that allows any possible data to be entered, but you definitely can create a usable UI for some specific data. So the reason you've come to the conclusion that fixing people is impossible is because you're trying to fix everyone at once, and each person needs their own solution.
Even better, some people don't even need fixing. Devote your time to just a few people and the problem disappears.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#9The cascading narcissism is ridiculous, but then the paranoia shows itself... They will do everything in their power to destroy all my efforts at building a better world ...and it just becomes kind of pathetic.
Thank you for an excellent illustration of the sort of negativity that the author is attempting to point out.
To be fair, the first three paragraphs didn't have anything to do with the author's point. They just kept talking about all the wonderful thigs he's capable of doing even if he's not qualified for them.
I would have rather had a more fleshed out point about people and a sentence about how the author is a problem solver than so much about what he can do and then some stuff about other people.
Re: You Can't Fix People
#10Hmmm. The hypocrisy is blatant. He apparently hates the way "people" are. Yet, at the same time he hates other people who also hate the way people are i.e. sexists and racists?!?!?
I apologize for the following but: Are you fucking kidding me?!?
Does he truly believe that he is alone in dealing with people? Do we not all deal with people? Is this not a core component of life and of cough growing up cough?!?!?
Have not many individuals over the ages dealt with their differences in various ways? Some dealings being better than others?
>I can never escape these problems, because they are people.
Why are "people" the problem? Why do you overgeneralize so easily? Yet, you ask so hypocritically:
>How do you get people to stop making terrible assumptions about other people?
This article should not be upvoted. If you are "tired" of dealing with people, as the author, I can almost guarantee that you have not spent enough time searching. Don't end your search to find good people with premature conclusions that sadly this author has jumped too.