Be Happier with Zero Expectation
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Be Happier with Zero Expectation
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Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#2[deleted]
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#3There is this German saying: "Happiness equals results minus expectations". And I have to agree, expectations are easy to miss, especially when you don't learn to lower them. I used to constantly get late to basically anywhere because I just did not factor in the time to shower, reading emails between putting on clothes, etc. And boy did this stress me out. When I started to pay more attention to my life in general (focus on the current moment and such), such stressors just disappeared because I learned to not get into such situations.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#4Yeah, I hear this a lot. And I'm sure that for most people the pendulum should swing more in that direction. But like everything you have to strike a balance. ZERO expectation really? To just take one example, what if you're a boss? I know I would be happier if I didn't expect anything out of my subordinates and they probably would to, but I'm guessing the shareholders might not be down with my new zen attitude.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#5There is this German saying: "Happiness equals results minus expectations". And I have to agree, expectations are easy to miss, especially when you don't learn to lower them. I used to constantly get late to basically anywhere because I just did not factor in the time to shower, reading emails between putting on clothes, etc. And boy did this stress me out. When I started to pay more attention to my life in general (…
Pretty cool German saying. Care to write it in German? I did learn a lil German n would be interested to know it :)
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#6There is this German saying: "Happiness equals results minus expectations". And I have to agree, expectations are easy to miss, especially when you don't learn to lower them. I used to constantly get late to basically anywhere because I just did not factor in the time to shower, reading emails between putting on clothes, etc. And boy did this stress me out. When I started to pay more attention to my life in general (…
Pretty cool German saying. Care to write it in German? I did learn a lil German n would be interested to know it :)
Glück ist Wirklichkeit minus Erwartungen.
(As far as I know think this saying originated in Hinduism in the first place and found its way into the german linguistic area somehow)
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#7Earlier quoted context omitted.
Pretty cool German saying. Care to write it in German? I did learn a lil German n would be interested to know it :)
Glück ist Wirklichkeit minus Erwartungen. (As far as I know think this saying originated in Hinduism in the first place and found its way into the german linguistic area somehow)
Awesome. Thanks for sharing! There's a lot of wise words of wisdom from the eastern religions
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#8Yeah, I hear this a lot. And I'm sure that for most people the pendulum should swing more in that direction. But like everything you have to strike a balance. ZERO expectation really? To just take one example, what if you're a boss? I know I would be happier if I didn't expect anything out of my subordinates and they probably would to, but I'm guessing the shareholders might not be down with my new zen attitude.
I think you are conflating two things: What outcomes you are attached to (what triggers your emotions etc.) vs. what you work towards.
It is perfectly possible to work hard towards a goal, including motivating others to do the same, but not be personally attached to the success or failure of the outcome.
I lift weights. I go into the gym every day and try to do better than last time. I struggle with increasing my bench press at the moment. But I still go in and try my hardest and vary my progressions to try to overcome my sticking point.
But I don't leave after a bench session all stressed out over not hitting the next weight up: I'm not attached to the outcome.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#9Earlier quoted context omitted.
Pretty cool German saying. Care to write it in German? I did learn a lil German n would be interested to know it :)
Glück ist Wirklichkeit minus Erwartungen. (As far as I know think this saying originated in Hinduism in the first place and found its way into the german linguistic area somehow)
I'm surprised it's not a massive singular compound word
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#10This is true but it's just not realistic. There are situations in life where expectations are totally appropriate. I'd even argue that expectations drive us forward. And if you have no expectation of an outcome, how can you be happy or sad at all at the end? Or how can you tell there has even been an outcome?
If I have to drive somewhere and have no expectation of arrival time then I'll neither be happy nor sad when I get there. I'll have just gotten there. However if I severely lower my expectations then I can be happy when I get there.
But I'm being pedantic here so I'll bring this back to reality now. Disappointment, heartache, sadness, and gloom are part of life and should not be avoided. We often find the motivation or drive to change and improve through our negative emotions. Sure, it sucks to feel that way but it's just as important as being happy and one shouldn't run from those feelings.
If you have good coping skills you can face disappointment head on, feel shitty for a bit, and then plow through and find some happiness or a silver lining. If you've got poor coping skills you'll be running away from all negative emotions and totally stunting your emotional growth because of it.
I know the author wasn't trying to write an authortitative piece on happiness so I won't criticize him. What I will do is add a little wrinkle to his whole point which is: Eliminate or lower expectations when the outcomes aren't important. So, for example, traffic is actually a perfect example. If you can eliminate your anger and frustration over being late or being stuck in traffic you're doing yourself a huge favor as being upset over it isn't doing anything for you. However feeling upset and having expectations about your career or a promotion or meeting a pretty girl one day can be quite helpful. The negative feelings associated with not getting any one of those things should push you to change your situation and get them somehow.
So all in all, I guess the TL;DR version would be: Apply the article's wisdom wisely, not broadly.