Singles Want to Find Love in Real Life Again, If Only They Could Remember How

My single friends in Brooklyn and LA tell me there still are good bars to meet women

Not single, but I seem to know a certain number of the young (under 30, or anyway 50) who have paired up somehow. Did they meet in "real life", i.e. without the help of social media? I don't know. But when the results include an engagement ring or a baby, then I count that as real life.

I spend a lot of time thinking about this question, i.e. “where and how do you meet people IRL,” and it’s equal parts interesting and deeply maddening to me that nobody I can find seems to have an actual good answer to it. Even the featured article, while it does acknowledge the issue and the common somewhat-answers to it you’ll often see repeated like the pickleball thing, it doesn’t have a clear conclusion as to what is to be done. ‘Get out there,’ of course, and be personable and willing to strike up conversations with people when the time seems right, but that really only makes it so that you’re able to take advantage of the chance encounters when they happen to come your way. Necessary, but not sufficient.

I just find it strange that there can be an apparent need in such a vital part of human existence and yet nobody has figured out what to actually do.

In Berlin I tell people to join clubs and other communities centred around hobbies. Regular exposure to the same people encourages deeper interaction in a more relaxed context.

In general I recommend people to work with the garage door open, and to actively interact with people on local online communities. I forgot who wrote that a blog post is a search query for like-minded people. I met a ton of people through my personal website and social media activity.

I don’t recommend general purpose meetups as they tend to graduate quality people quickly and leave behind a lot of weirdos that tend to form the core of the attendees. It’s also hard to meet strangers when you have nothing in common.

Note that all of these methods require you to be a genuine participant. There are no shortcuts to meeting people, and thus no shortcuts to meeting potential partners. People who try to find shortcuts ruin communities and force them to put up fences.