Getting Out of a Rut

#1

Post by beepdyboop » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 12:54 PM UTC

Lately, I’ve just been trying to get by.

Feels like my body has been running on autopilot. The consequence of which life just seems to go by even faster. Losing the ability to relax and the feeling of self-control, over-indulging in endless feeds of videos, games and services that further drain the energy that I so crave to return. To a point where it feels more like an addiction, with my body now responding with physical discomforts and a relapse of anxiety that I have not felt for years.

But I think everything’s going to be alright.

Getting out of bed is a drag, my apartment might be a bit messy, work and relationships not going as well I’d like, procrastinated every possible task that needs to be done.. You know. Right now, I’m just surprised to find myself writing about it whilst grateful to be acknowledging that I’m in a rut.

I'm motivated to get out of this. At the same time I’m scared I’ll just go back to autopilot on Monday.

In February, I’ll become a father and I want to be there for my son.

Where do I go from here?

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#2

Post by swader999 » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 1:51 PM UTC

Start lifting

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#3

Post by progrus » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 1:53 PM UTC

Walk outside every day

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#4

Post by pmoriarty » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 1:53 PM UTC

Psychedelic therapy might help

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#5

Post by throw_away_add2 » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 1:54 PM UTC

Waiting for my kid's due date was a slog for me too.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#6

Post by audiometry » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 1:55 PM UTC

Go on a three week video game moratorium. Get on a regular sleep schedule that wakes you up earlier than normal. Make task todo lists. Make “intentions for the week” lists. Make the items small grains of sand sand. Tick them off as you finish some of them. It won’t be everything probably. Get yourself on a program of your choosing and it becomes a virtuous cycle.

Talk to someone too. Not commiserate, which isn’t helpful, but someone who could help or offer objective advice or just even understand you better after you say your piece.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#7

Post by sokoloff » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 1:58 PM UTC

If this is your first kid, I can recall the intense mix of happiness and “oh shit, the game just changed!” feelings when we were expecting our first. That seems totally normal/expected based on my experience.

I can’t give specific advice, but can say that, for me, getting started on some mildly unpleasant task is far more challenging than the reality of completing it. I can spend hours dreading a five minute task. Knowing that rationally and calling myself out on my own bullshit works for me (a lot, but not all, of the time).

Good luck.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#8

Post by knicholes » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 2:00 PM UTC

audiometry wrote: post #6

Go on a three week video game moratorium. Get on a regular sleep schedule that wakes you up earlier than normal. Make task todo lists. Make “intentions for the week” lists. Make the items small grains of sand sand. Tick them off as you finish some of them. It won’t be everything probably. Get yourself on a program of your choosing and it becomes a virtuous cycle. Talk to someone too. Not commiserate, which isn’t help…

I just did this, and surprisingly it really did help. I started playing "Satisfactory." I found the little successes of progressing felt like when I succeeded at writing a nice clean function. I think the rut, for me, was caused by constantly changing requirements and having no feelings of success.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#9

Post by simonhamp » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 2:01 PM UTC

You need a break. Nothing short of 2 whole weeks.

Give your mind and body chance to have a complete switch from the routine.

And it doesn't need to be a 'holiday' - a staycation can be far more relaxing than tiring, stressful, expensive travel.

Be intentional about not getting dragged into videos/games/services - read a physical book or two, walk, exercise. Go on dates, call family.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#10

Post by hsn915 » Sat, Oct 22, 2022, 2:02 PM UTC

Cleanup your room. Cleanup your appearance (hair, beard, cloths, etc).

Taking care of yourself reaffirms to your brain that you value yourself, and will get you moving again in the right direction.

If I may "guess" what's going on:

You are becoming a father but you weren't planning on it, or the mother is not the right person for you, but you feel obligated and so you have no choice?

First of all, you always have a choice. Do your duty, but do it out of your own volition, not out of fear of being seen in a negative light by society / parents / etc.

If you must, try doing things that would upset people whom scold you fear. Quit your job and try to find another one or become independent and work contracts while building up a business.

Do something that you believe in your gut is the right thing to do even though it will upset some people. You will feel such a relief. Now you can act out of your own volition.

Now, do this with every aspect of life. Do what you believe is right. Take people's input if you must, but own the decision and don't be afraid of their reactions.