Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job

I'm in a situation where my boss really doesn't get me or understand what I specifically bring to the table. She simply needs something different. I've tried to fit myself into what she needs like a square peg in a round hole. I have a very different vision for my role, and a specific understanding of how my strengths contribute to our team.

After a year of trying, coaching, assuming I’m the problem, talking to my skip level, hard convos with my boss, and much more etc I'm finally realizing trying to force myself into something that's simply not going to fit. With all humility I admit it may be me that failed. But life is short, it’s time to move on.

Cool story bro, why are you telling me?

Well I just want to say, the industry has an obsession with "growth" in performance reviews. But the reality is that growth only works when you build on someone's strengths. Trying to ask someone to grow by changing who they fundamentally are, leads to withdrawal, stagnation, and anti-growth. I'm actually getting worse at my job, not better, because I'm being forced to be something I'm not. It's depressing, draining, and frustrating. I can't be who I fundamentally am in my role.

It's important to know when your strengths are fundamentally misaligned with your job, boss, etc and leave ASAP. Don't try to force yourself to fit into it for the sake of "growth". You'll only drain yourself and there are better places for you. You may end up going through a traumatic experience that actually causes you to LOSE skills and abilities.

That is all, thanks.

If you put yourself in your managers shoes, what are the demands and most important goals that need to be achieved? Sometimes the reality of the situation is less than perfect and you can't personally blame them for it. I've seen backend developers forced to do UI work when they absolutely did not want to and our manager was very blunt about the fact that we didn't have the resources to get a FE developer, or even the need for one full time so "tough luck". After that conversation, the BE dev. did the mature thing and got on with it.

Could you be more specific ?

Like if your weakness is poor communication leading towards unintentional hostility to coworkers or inability to prioritize work, that weakness is probably worth be developed.

It's important to look out for yourself and your career

I'm a founder at a small company, and the current environment has us stagnating a bit

My biggest fear is that our best contributors go elsewhere because we aren't able to fully enable their growth here right now

I've lucked out in terms of how loyal my team is, but loyalty only goes so far, and the business has an obligation to enable the careers of it's contributors

Basically just saying, there are two sides to every deal and if you're not thriving due to environment, you have a responsibility to yourself to find an environment where you will thrive

I had a situation once where we had a minor re-org and I ended up with a new manager. Literally day one, he made an attempt to change everyone's role. We were a team of developers and business analysts. He decided that everyone would become both and spend 50% of their time on each activity. Not sure why he thought this was a good idea, but he did.

After he announced it, I had a 1x1 with him and clearly let him know that he was the boss and I'd do my best to accomplish anything he assigned me. I also let him know that the business analyst duties didn't fit well with my skillset and that I would very likely struggle to produce output. We had a good, honest conversation about the situation and I ended up staying 100% as a developer. In the end he was happy and I was happy.

Why am I telling you? It's that I've learned it better to communicate and hopefully work things out then just pack up and head to another place.