Parent time
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Parent time
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Re: Parent time
#2Dupe of this thread: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33038272
Re: Parent time
#3Parents could have moved to SF, just sayin’
ETA: One set of parents could have moved from east coast to west. They had enough savings and could have found a modest place in a nice peripheral location. We had good SV jobs and would have helped them. They never really liked where they lived, never made the most of it, and only stayed there out of inertia; I hated the weather and sprawly shabbiness, would never have moved back. We spent a lot of time looking for nice places for them and got a lot of excuses.
Our jobs became fully remote. The other set of parents got sick. So we moved to their clean, quiet, beautiful, small town in the northern UK. It sucks, you’d hate it, stay away.
Re: Parent time
#4I cant refind the website right now, but i once encountered an interesting website that took this concept further.
It demonstrated that many of us have already spent between 95-99% of the time we will see our parents.
Eg:
* presume your parents have you at ~30
* Live at home 18years x 365 days per year = 6570 days
* You see them a week per year for the remainder of their life = 50 years * 7 days per year = 350 days
therefore at 19yrs old you have 350/(6570+350) days remaining ~= 5%
Re: Parent time
#5Parents could have moved to SF, just sayin’ ETA: One set of parents could have moved from east coast to west. They had enough savings and could have found a modest place in a nice peripheral location. We had good SV jobs and would have helped them. They never really liked where they lived, never made the most of it, and only stayed there out of inertia; I hated the weather and sprawly shabbiness, would never have mov…
I was gonna say "not at these prices", but actually I'm feeling more optimistic about that...have even entertained the idea of moving back myself if current trends continue.
Re: Parent time
#6My parents are my neighbours. It's great. One of the things I value most about how life turned out.
Re: Parent time
#7I cant refind the website right now, but i once encountered an interesting website that took this concept further. It demonstrated that many of us have already spent between 95-99% of the time we will see our parents. Eg: * presume your parents have you at ~30 * Live at home 18years x 365 days per year = 6570 days * You see them a week per year for the remainder of their life = 50 years * 7 days per year = 350 days t…
That is pretty sobering thought.
Re: Parent time
#8Parents could have moved to SF, just sayin’ ETA: One set of parents could have moved from east coast to west. They had enough savings and could have found a modest place in a nice peripheral location. We had good SV jobs and would have helped them. They never really liked where they lived, never made the most of it, and only stayed there out of inertia; I hated the weather and sprawly shabbiness, would never have mov…
Though you're getting down voted I do think there's some merit to your comment. When I moved from Canada to the Bay area I thought, and everyone said, that they (friends, family) would come visit. I got 2 visits in 8 years, both by my mom.
This despite me going back to see varying people roughly twice per year. I've sadly learned that many of those relationships are a one way street of convenience. They're happy to see me when I come, to walk down memory lane. But they'll never put in the effort to come see me. Sadly this realization has been the demise of many of those relationships that I was carrying.
Re: Parent time
#9My parents are my neighbours. It's great. One of the things I value most about how life turned out.
I personally prefer to have some distance. In my case 10-15 minute drive. Enough to stop entirely random visits, but still nothing really stopping it.
Re: Parent time
#10Parents could have moved to SF, just sayin’ ETA: One set of parents could have moved from east coast to west. They had enough savings and could have found a modest place in a nice peripheral location. We had good SV jobs and would have helped them. They never really liked where they lived, never made the most of it, and only stayed there out of inertia; I hated the weather and sprawly shabbiness, would never have mov…
It doesn't seem to be a popular sentiment, but I agree. My parents are retired, moderately wealthy, and in reasonably good health, yet the burden to spend time with them seems to be entirely on my partner and me, who have demanding careers. Not to mention, my in-laws are in worse health than my parents, so now we have to prioritize our limited travel time between two sets of elderly parents, visiting our friends dispersed across the planet, and engaging in our own interests. Quitting our jobs and moving to be near my parents (or my partner's) isn't an option, so the status quo of seeing them every other year will remain until they decide to change it.