Why are so many adults acting just like children?

Over time, I’ve come to see many “senior” or “success” behaviours as refined versions of childhood ones. Political sniping, business competitiveness, standard hierarchical power dynamics, etc. These are all “playground tactics” but grown up. I don’t see (many) “successful” or “leader” type people publicly engaging in so called “adult behaviours” - supporting, sharing, collaborating, taking time out to understand one another’s needs, looking for win-wins.

Of course, many adults do all these things. However, the higher up the power/success ladder you look, the harder these behaviours are to see. In a lot of situations, many people feel they need to win, or at best draw. Few enjoy losing, and the more they have riding on it (money, reputation, power), the more most people will aim to win. At the level of nations (or gangs), this gets deadly. The ways to win are just the same ways kids explore. The people most likely to win are the ones who lean hardest into those tactics.

So, I’m saying “we’re all children”. If you want to complain about adults playing games and wearing bright colours, you also need to complain about adults using armies to take resources and businesses blocking others out of markets.

Don't we do that all the time?

I don't have strong evidence for this, but I always feel like this is true until you get right to the very top - the individuals and organisations that are considered leaders in their fields. The difference between those people/organisations and the rest is often exactly that they are supportive, collaborative and doing things for the right reasons relative to the big picture rather than their local political context.

It's harder to succeed if you don't engage with the "playground tactics", but those who do are the ones pushing society forwards.