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Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

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Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#1
Please share advice and/or your opinion as to whether or not I'm being completely unfair.

Main content REDACTED to avoid this coming back to haunt me.

Original post described a co-founder who did not listen well (esp. when he initially disagrees or is at fault), had a big ego, dismissed my concerns, and was not a fun developer to share a codebase with.

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#2
I hate your co-founder too ... and I've met many people that are like that. One of the things that's important to me is that the people around me are real. He seems to be so full of himself, that he can't control his ego. While a start-up founder has to have a lot of determination, they don't need to have an attitude.

So if you're miserable, find something else to make you happy. Just beware that many of the most brilliant technical people are going to have their own "tics" ... perhaps a set of closed-back headphones would help?

Finally, you should also ask yourself what he might be thinking about you ... it's a valid question. After this divorce happens (you've already decided), think about the traits that will make a good marriage next time.

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#3
Just plain revert commits that aren't done correctly (i.e. directly on master / no accompanying unit tests). If he complains about wasting time just tell him to get his butt back to work :P.

Other than that though it just sounds like you two just shouldn't be working together. If I didn't enjoy beings around my co-founder(s) it would ruin the whole startup experience for me, I just wouldn't do it.

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#5
One of the most important (if not the most important) thing for the success of a start-up is the relationship between co-founders. Forget about the product. It doesn't matter how amazing it is. If the co-founders can't get along, the product is DEAD.

When you lose a founder, you lose the motivation and confidence to continue, you lose part of your vision, and the other half of the "brain" in your startup. The key to a successful startup is to first have a strong relationship and chemistry between the co-founders. Second, is to have a good product.

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#6
Hmmm...seems like an inflexible person. After reading your posting, I get the feeling you've already decided and your waiting for 3rd party responses before signing the divorce papers.

You could 1) accept it and endure it (but your company suffers because of it once it goes public or is more public) 2) confront him about it because this is a 'company issue' and you have to resolve it if you are going to move forward for the good of the company 3) cut your losses and start anew with a new cofounder or a new startup (4-5 months into it shouldn't be too high a price to pay for more headaches later)

From your point of view (and I've haven't seen his side of the story) you have made reasonable concessions, and any more concessions on your part I don't think (from reading your post) will unlikely resolve things.

Good luck.

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#8
I just have to ask this: why did you choose him to be your co-founder in the first place? I mean, there must have been some qualities that made you decide to go on this adventure together? I can imagine that ditching him isn't an option at this point, so you have to find a way to make it work. Good luch and hang in there!

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#9
Assuming your hands aren't too tied by legal agreements, I'd cut my losses and quit. Life is too short to put up with a bad workplace.

Also try to show as much loyalty as you can to the person that you hired, as they're apparently someone competent who was caught in the crossfire. Perhaps you can fit them in if you happen to start something new soon. Heck, maybe even that person would be a better co-founder for a new venture.

Re: Tell HN: I think I hate my co-founder

#10
This is why it's best to really, really, get to know your co-founder(s) over a period of time. I'd say 3-6 months, minimum, for the discussion phase.

Hang out with them in a social setting. Hire them to do some minor work for you. Do whatever you have to, to find out what they're REALLY like before you make it official.

Now that you know it's a bad fit, figure out how to move on.

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