Finding Love Optimally

Unfortunately, this does not solve the problem that many hackers that I know have. They would have no trouble selecting between a number of different applicants/candidates - they are having trouble with generating "deal flow" in the first place, a.k.a actually meeting women.

They work 40-90 hours a week in an insular, male-dominated industry. Where do they get the time and the energy to get the exposure to hone the skillset that enables talking to women?

Re: Finding Love Optimally

#6

Post by DeusExMachina » Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 6:23 AM UTC

bengl3rt wrote: post #5

Unfortunately, this does not solve the problem that many hackers that I know have. They would have no trouble selecting between a number of different applicants/candidates - they are having trouble with generating "deal flow" in the first place, a.k.a actually meeting women. They work 40-90 hours a week in an insular, male-dominated industry. Where do they get the time and the energy to get the exposure to hone the s…

I can understand your point, but I think that in the end it's always feasible. If you want to meet more women you have to realize they won't come to knock on your door. So you have to give up a couple of hours in the evening where instead if working you go out with the objective to meet more women.

Re: Finding Love Optimally

#7

Post by dev_jim » Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 7:58 AM UTC

I couldn't give you the math, but the optimal strategy is to always date two or three women at any given time. This allows you to always keep your favorite while giving an opportunity for new contenders to rise to the top. Now of course this strategy only works for about a year with any individual girl until exclusivity becomes an issue.

This is similar to how most companies solve the secretary (or at least the software developer) problem. You have a body of candidates who get decimated as you go from round 1 => round 2 => ... => round X.

Re: Finding Love Optimally

#8

Post by dev_jim » Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 8:06 AM UTC

bengl3rt wrote: post #5

Unfortunately, this does not solve the problem that many hackers that I know have. They would have no trouble selecting between a number of different applicants/candidates - they are having trouble with generating "deal flow" in the first place, a.k.a actually meeting women. They work 40-90 hours a week in an insular, male-dominated industry. Where do they get the time and the energy to get the exposure to hone the s…

Try OKCupid or a similar dating website. It gives you the opportunity to meet new women at your convenience by initiating contact through a 3-line email. And if they respond you know they are interested.

As far as skill set...just be yourself and talk about your interests and her interests. Having some sort of 'game' or whatever isn't going to work very well on educated women.

Re: Finding Love Optimally

#9

Post by danenania » Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 8:22 AM UTC

DeusExMachina wrote: post #6

bengl3rt wrote: post #5

Unfortunately, this does not solve the problem that many hackers that I know have. They would have no trouble selecting between a number of different applicants/candidates - they are having trouble with generating "deal flow" in the first place, a.k.a actually meeting women. They work 40-90 hours a week in an insular, male-dominated industry. Where do they get the time and the energy to get the exposure to hone the s…

I can understand your point, but I think that in the end it's always feasible. If you want to meet more women you have to realize they won't come to knock on your door. So you have to give up a couple of hours in the evening where instead if working you go out with the objective to meet more women.

Just going out with the vague intention of meeting women isn't going to get you anywhere as a nerdy type of guy. A better approach is to do things that you'll enjoy anyway where talking and getting to know others (including women) is a core part of the activity.

A few that come to mind: creative writing groups, acting groups, language learning groups and exchanges, book clubs. I'm sure there are plenty of others. Besides being generally intellectually rewarding activities, women are usually the majority in groups like these, and they are likely to be smart and interesting to boot. The emphasis is also taken off of small talk and social poise, and placed instead on intelligence, creativity, authenticity, and other traits that nerds excel in. Even if you don't meet the girl of your dreams, you can at least have a good time, develop your mind in some new directions, and expand your social circle a bit.

Re: Finding Love Optimally

#10

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 8:41 AM UTC

dev_jim wrote: post #7

I couldn't give you the math, but the optimal strategy is to always date two or three women at any given time. This allows you to always keep your favorite while giving an opportunity for new contenders to rise to the top. Now of course this strategy only works for about a year with any individual girl until exclusivity becomes an issue. This is similar to how most companies solve the secretary (or at least the softw…

[deleted]