most of my life I'm lonely, depressed, anxious, stressed
What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
1–10 of 26 posts
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#2I say this as a blanket possibility: Possibly too much screen time doom scrolling.
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#3Insufficient time spent with your brain attending to your body. One solution is to play futbol.
Insufficient affectionate hugs. One solution is to go folk dancing.
Insufficient time spent listening to people chat about their lives. One solution is to go to church potlucks.
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#4The reason people attend therapy is to answer exactly that question. And if you really want answers and you find the right therapist/psychologist, you will probably find answers.
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#5I’ll take a stab:
Did you have high expectation parents or parents that were difficult to satisfy? Were you around snobby people all your life that were entitled and competitive in social hierarchies (think Mean Girls), justifying their worth via dangerous forms of validation (money, status, vanity, general elitism)? Did you yourself also amass these qualities throughout most of your life, or at least some of them?
A lifetime of being soaked in miserable baths like what I just described will create a disgusting internal dialogue that attacks both inward and outward (you hate yourself, and respect no one).
/signed
A Miserable person that knew many other miserable people.
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#6I suggest finding a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. They can help you with strategies to improve your thinking patterns and help you work on the origins of your problems. It's life changing, so find a therapist if you can afford it.
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#7Therapy is the best for this kind of thing. Strongly recommended.
I delayed therapy for years, thinking it was for people with "major psych problems" when really, you're just learning how to identify and manage your emotions. While this sounds almost stupidly simple, it's actually extremely hard work that most of us never learn! A good therapist will act like a master coach, helping you through the process, as you learn "how to drive" emotionally.
Finding a good therapist is also hard. And there's very little help for you in that process. Here's some advice I got from a trusted psych, which turned out well for me:
* Use Psychology Today's Find a Therapist tool: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
* Look for therapists who focus on only a few therapeutic orientations (I like CBT)
* Avoid therapists who offer CBT alongside psychodynamic therapy, or family therapy - these are different, largely incompatible modalities
You'll probably have to meet with / call a few before you find someone you click with (which is important). Patience is important. The whole process takes time - took me 2 years of weekly work, but it was tremendously helpful.
Also, exercise. It doesn't have to be anything special / major, just get outside (preferably) and move your body. A walk around the neighborhood is fine. This has a number of positive psych and physical effects.
Be well!
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#8The reason people attend therapy is to answer exactly that question. And if you really want answers and you find the right therapist/psychologist, you will probably find answers.
After writing this reply I feel like I should point out firstly, that this is not in offense to the parent comment. He/she did it right and I just wanted to add/share my own experience.
I completely agree, but this is easier said than done. The emphasis is on RIGHT therapist. There aren't necessarily good and bad therapists, but ones an individual can work with. Finding those is very difficult and time consuming. I'm not sure if pointing this out is doing more harm than good, but it's certainly true. This is something I was affected with. People told me to go to the therapist as if it was that easy to solve a problem. Like, therapists are doctors for you mind. I went there with no prior knowledge or expertise on how a therapy works and after 7 weeks I was utterly disappointed and lost. What I (wrongfully) concluded, was, that therapy doesn't work for me. That therapy was for worse cases than me. That I didn't fit the system. Surely this is my own fault for not having a problem oriented mindset towards therapy, but in the end, it's not about whose fault it is. It's about helping people. So, after all of this I sometimes think we should at least imply that there is more nuance and effort to this approach (that is, visiting a therapist).
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#9Very possibly depression. For most kinds (and there are kinds, nobody is sure how many) there's a pill that fixes it.
There is no way known to discover which kind you have besides trying different pills until you hit on one that works.
Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?
#10[deleted]