Ask HN :Why didn't you sign prenup? You regret it now?

Some states are fillial responsibility states. I wanted a prenup to protect our assets during the marriage, so that the state wouldn't be able to come after stuff in my name to support her deadbeat dad. We're protected in a different way because his prior actions was considered abandonment. If we had any "real" money (wife's mother was very dismissive about the amount I saved up), then i guess I could still set up a trust.

I still think a prenup would have been good. Why not decide on what is fair and reasonable when on good terms and you're not clouded by hate or resentment? It would save massively on legal fees. My wife didn't want one. She never gave a reason, but it's safe to assume that the conditions under the court eiild be more favorable than a prenup that excludes alimony. Her mother made some huge deal about me "not knowing what I'm doing", even though she has a prenup and couldn't give any explanation of why it's a bad idea. So overall, it feels like I was taken advantage of and they basically bullied me (repeated unsupported emotional attacks) into not getting one.

Frankly, I don't see much reason to get married in today's world. Sure, there are some minor or fringe benefits when dealing with taxes and stuff, but most companies are recognizing domestic partners for benefits even without official domestic partner certificates. Marriage is just a piece of paper from the government and shouldn't be neccessary to validate one's relationship.

The laws are generally guidelines. Judges can basically do what they want and make exceptions. There can also be fights in the undefined areas and proving ownership of specific items, etc. I would think business ownership would be a big one for many people on this site. If divorce under the law was straightforward, then it wouldn't cost tens of thousands of dollars in lawyers fees to navigate the system.

If you have a prenup, the terms are more settled and more specific to the individuals. Courts are generally more compelled to honor the terms under contracts that are consistent with law than making those same determinations through examination and application of the laws alone (I've witnessed many incompetent magistrates and judges). This can also avoid some of the nastiness that can come up in court testimony that may impact/involve any kids involved.

This is also great advice when forming a business partnership. It was a great help to me when I was ready to leave a business I owned 50-50 and saved us from ending up in a lawsuit.