How I Made 50 Friends In One Month

Guess it depends on your definition of 'friend' then, because by my standards, that would have been '4 friends' and not '50 friends'. '50 acquaintances' now, that I'd agree with.

That isn't to say this isn't a valuable tactic. Making 4 good friends is nothing to scoff at.

Interestingly, I've found these percentages seem to hold true in a variety of other social situations as well. Online dating, for instance - I find I get responses to about 30% of initial messages, but 2/3 of those are just being polite and never strike up a conversation, so I end up with RL dates with about 10% of initial prospects. Haven't met one yet that I felt a real connection to, but I've only been on 8 dates so far, so 1% would imply I've got a few to go.

Or college. I figure I knew (had some interaction with, could name & recognize by sight) perhaps 300 people at my college. Maybe 30 of them I'd call "friends" - I could sit down with them at the dining hall without feeling awkward and chit-chat about classes or hobbies or interests or society and politics. Only about 2 or 3 of them did I really feel close enough to to stay in touch with them after college, once our common interests had ended.

Finding the right non-profit, club or meetup then takes the role of the first level of filtering.

When you join an organization based around something, you can be pretty sure that most of its members will share at least that common interest with you. But how do you find the organization in the first place?

If you're anything like me, you probably end up trying out a bunch of potential hobbies before you find one you stick with. When I was in grade school, I tried gymnastics, figure skating, soccer, basketball, violin, clarinet, viola, guitar, math team, Magic: the Gathering, Starcraft, a brief flirtation with policy debate, and probably several hobbies I can't remember now. The only ones I really stuck with and made friends through were violin, guitar, and M:tG. When I was in college, I tried orchestra, the Arts theme house, Taiko, whitewater kayaking, bridge, sailing, theater, improv comedy, Woodsy club, etc. The ones I stuck with were orchestra and sailing.

It's easier to do it this way if you're afraid of rejection, because you're rejecting an activity instead of rejecting (or being rejected by) a person. But it's no less time-consuming. You have to reject fewer entities, but it takes you longer to decide that you don't actually want to pursue that line, so it ends up being pretty much a wash.

I think when people are around each other, there's a lot of future at stake. You don't want to mess up, and cause any drama 'cause it can bite you in the future. When you stop being around with that person, whether it's because you moved, or quit jobs, etc, you stop caring so much about nurturing that relationship.

You've brought up good points. More and more exposure when it comes to work and school can benefit real life relationships as well.

However, when I've met people online, I don't connect with them really well until the 2nd attempt. (I give people 2 chances).

When you're in real life and it's just a stranger that passes by, you never get that potential second chance.