Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
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Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#2Seems like online twitter mobs and callouts are actually counterproductive to the "-isms" that employ them. Too bad but expect more of the same as we've basicslly given a global megaphone to any hyper-purist or power-tripper with a social media account. This stops when people have to pay a price for engaging in a cancel action.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#3It is absolutely unforgivable that we allow terms such as “mansplaining” to exist and be used unfettered and then on the other had deride their position because ! men not explaining things candidly !
Something has to give.
Obviously obnoxious behaviour should be curbed but the usage of mansplaing (and I would argue: the minting of the term when we have an equivalent in “condescending”)
I don’t even know what to say. I know I am rather shy to give advice to women because I’ve been bullied on Twitter for explaining things even when SOMEONE ASKED FOR CLARITY!
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#4It is absolutely unforgivable that we allow terms such as “mansplaining” to exist and be used unfettered and then on the other had deride their position because ! men not explaining things candidly ! Something has to give. Obviously obnoxious behaviour should be curbed but the usage of mansplaing (and I would argue: the minting of the term when we have an equivalent in “condescending”) I don’t even know what to say.…
Did you think the article was deriding men for not being candid? It didn't seem that way to me. In fact it seemed like she had the opposite intention.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#5I'm really glad to see this here. I don't have a better word readily available than sexism for trying to talk about patterns like this but when I use the word sexism, I think people think I mean "Men are intentionally exclusionary assholes just to be assholes because they simply hate women." and that's never what I'm trying to say.
I find my gender is a barrier to getting traction and my experience is that it's due to patterns of this sort and not because most men intentionally want me to fail. But the cumulative effect of most men erring on the side of protecting themselves and not wanting to take risks to engage with me meaningfully really adds up over time and I think that tremendously holds women back generally.
I think gendered patterns of social engagement also contributed to the Theranos debacle. I've said that before and I feel like it tends to get misunderstood as well. (Though in the case of Theranos it runs a lot deeper in that she was actually sleeping with an investor.)
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#6It is absolutely unforgivable that we allow terms such as “mansplaining” to exist and be used unfettered and then on the other had deride their position because ! men not explaining things candidly ! Something has to give. Obviously obnoxious behaviour should be curbed but the usage of mansplaing (and I would argue: the minting of the term when we have an equivalent in “condescending”) I don’t even know what to say.…
Did you think the article was deriding men for not being candid? It didn't seem that way to me. In fact it seemed like she had the opposite intention.
I think she is lamenting the situation. When in a similar situation I would do the same thing, I’m certain. I’m explaining why.
Before the Twitter mobs attacked me I would have been more open mouthed, now I’m aware of how sensitive people are and I try to avoid them feeling uncomfortable so I will choose my words much more carefully.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#7It is absolutely unforgivable that we allow terms such as “mansplaining” to exist and be used unfettered and then on the other had deride their position because ! men not explaining things candidly ! Something has to give. Obviously obnoxious behaviour should be curbed but the usage of mansplaing (and I would argue: the minting of the term when we have an equivalent in “condescending”) I don’t even know what to say.…
I think of "mansplaining" as men giving unsolicited advice rooted in assuming women are just stupid and failing to recognize that things work differently for women, so women can do the same things men do and get different results, which means women do things differently from men and sometimes there seems to be no good means for a woman to do anything.
Kind of like male construction workers can take their shirts off if they get too hot and female construction workers can't. (Real case I read about: Two female construction workers decided to wear bikini tops so they could take their shirts off in the heat and the busty, attractive lady was fired because this was a distraction potentially causing more accidents by the male construction workers. The skinny, flat chested girl wasn't fired because it wasn't literally turning heads when she pulled her shirt off and worked in a bikini top.)
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#8I'm really glad to see this here. I don't have a better word readily available than sexism for trying to talk about patterns like this but when I use the word sexism , I think people think I mean "Men are intentionally exclusionary assholes just to be assholes because they simply hate women." and that's never what I'm trying to say. I find my gender is a barrier to getting traction and my experience is that it's due…
Genuine question, if you were a man in that situation, what would you do?
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#9Reminds me of the phenomenon recorded of men avoiding women after the original #metoo thing.
Part of this is that I think that men feel they are walking on egg shells. The kinds of male assertiveness that my wife found attractive when she met me also can leave women who aren't into this assertiveness feeling harassed.
I feel that we need to be clear more about what is "desirable" masculinity it "desirable assertiveness" vs its toxic counterparts. Failure to do this will essentially neuter men over the long term - and it will lead to "men clamming up" or worse, a significant surge in the number of men who "go their own way" be it in the job or at home in their personal life.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/29/men-wom...
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/men-are-afraid-to-mentor-f...
https://www.forbes.com/sites/ellevate/2019/01/09/dear-sir-do...
https://kelainetaylor.medium.com/to-the-men-whose-response-t...
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#10I'm really glad to see this here. I don't have a better word readily available than sexism for trying to talk about patterns like this but when I use the word sexism , I think people think I mean "Men are intentionally exclusionary assholes just to be assholes because they simply hate women." and that's never what I'm trying to say. I find my gender is a barrier to getting traction and my experience is that it's due…
Genuine question, if you were a man in that situation, what would you do?
In what situation?