A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
jessegalef.com
A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
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Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#2My question is whether we speak of a specific deliverable here, or a body of work.
The path is half the battle. Furthermore, getting a [DRAFT] out and interacting with the team has a catalytic effect.
Ain't about me. I'm singular. The team is plural. I'm at my location on the curve, with some leading me, some lagging.
As a contractor, my good work is for the sake of good work, and the knowledge it brings. That immaculately polished cannonball of a deliverable? Going under a bus.
Read Ecclesiastes.
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#3I loved this!
Not only is it a neat, simple model to play around with, but the tone of the article made me smile.
I need more friends like this author!
Thank you for taking the (excessive) amount of time to write this and overcoming the urge to polish out all the "imperfections".
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#4I loved this! Not only is it a neat, simple model to play around with, but the tone of the article made me smile. I need more friends like this author! Thank you for taking the (excessive) amount of time to write this and overcoming the urge to polish out all the "imperfections".
I know, right? I had the same reaction to the article, makes me miss fun intellectual conversations in college.
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#5For folks finding this model/analysis compelling: many of these observations and coping skills are common in undiagnosed ADHD. It’s not a perfect circle venn diagram, but pretty close. Any kind of paralysis without progressive validation or structured achievement is very likely associated with dopamine release and absorption.
In adult-diagnosed ADHD cases, we often find ourselves discovering cleverly invented milestones and achievements or even convenient self deceptions that produce dopamine when it would naturally be a long way away. Speaking for myself, I allow myself personal congratulations and merits for utterly insignificant and pointless details for any task that feels “too big” or “too daunting” to make them achievable for my brain. I can take several hours to get my laundry going, a couple minutes work in all, and I allow myself to celebrate getting the dirty laundry into a basket, then another getting it into the laundry room. Usually by this point following through is automatic and doesn’t require more workarounds.
But ultimately the concept is the same. If the reward feels far away, and far away is demotivating, giving yourself rewards along the way opens pathways to keep going when it doesn’t feel feasible otherwise.
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#6For folks finding this model/analysis compelling: many of these observations and coping skills are common in undiagnosed ADHD. It’s not a perfect circle venn diagram, but pretty close. Any kind of paralysis without progressive validation or structured achievement is very likely associated with dopamine release and absorption. In adult-diagnosed ADHD cases, we often find ourselves discovering cleverly invented milesto…
I thought I came up with the idea of attaching symbolic importance to otherwise menial tasks so I can complete them. Things like mail, paperwork, printing materials I make up some kind of scenario where completing the task is of critical importance and reward myself somehow after. I don’t otherwise recognize myself as ADHD though. I think rather its odd people can easily interrupt their day to do this stuff.
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#7For folks finding this model/analysis compelling: many of these observations and coping skills are common in undiagnosed ADHD. It’s not a perfect circle venn diagram, but pretty close. Any kind of paralysis without progressive validation or structured achievement is very likely associated with dopamine release and absorption. In adult-diagnosed ADHD cases, we often find ourselves discovering cleverly invented milesto…
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Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#8Perfection does not exist in the universe. Imperfections can be found in anything.
Enjoying the process, while fully embracing this realization, is key.
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#9For folks finding this model/analysis compelling: many of these observations and coping skills are common in undiagnosed ADHD. It’s not a perfect circle venn diagram, but pretty close. Any kind of paralysis without progressive validation or structured achievement is very likely associated with dopamine release and absorption. In adult-diagnosed ADHD cases, we often find ourselves discovering cleverly invented milesto…
I thought I came up with the idea of attaching symbolic importance to otherwise menial tasks so I can complete them. Things like mail, paperwork, printing materials I make up some kind of scenario where completing the task is of critical importance and reward myself somehow after. I don’t otherwise recognize myself as ADHD though. I think rather its odd people can easily interrupt their day to do this stuff.
I didn’t recognize myself as ADHD either. I was diagnosed at 37. If I hadn’t taken a (seemingly separate) mental health dive I probably would never have known. It turns out almost all of my anxiety and quite a bit of my depression are easily traced to dopamine deficiency and (sometimes unhealthy) coping strategies. The way I explain the laundry thing to people who don’t experience it is... almost exactly your wording: if I have a “big” task and a “small” task that have time overlap, stopping the “big” one to do even a few minutes of something else is extraordinarily stressful. I can’t interrupt one for the other. On really bad days, both block each other, like a deadlock. Recognizing that it’s happening and creating basically fictional arbitrary rewards helps.
Obviously I’m not in any way qualified to say one way or the other, but if things like this meaningfully impede your life I’d recommend reading about adult ADHD, see if things feel like they have explanations you’ve never known you needed... and if you do, seek diagnosis.
For my experience when I finally had enough confidence that there was really something to it, I had to read a lot of non-diagnostic literature to really understand how to navigate that process. The DSM criteria are almost entirely designed around diagnosing children, and almost entirely around misbehavior. Adults will not relate to most behavior descriptions and will have developed so many coping alternatives that the answers often form as “well, no, but here is how I’ve learned to compensate”.
Edit: I’d be remiss not to credit the actual human on the internet who gave me the most insight into this and ultimately prompted me to seek diagnosis. For anyone looking for someone who speaks extensively and knowledgeably about adult ADHD, I highly recommend following Erynn Brook on twitter.
Re: A Pretty Good Mathematical Model of Perfectionism
#10Someone suggested making minor mistakes on purpose to me a while ago, and it turned out to be a pretty interesting kind of pain to lean into~
There's a typo near the end of the post, which made me smile - my first thought was that it was left in intentionally. I recommend following the author's lead. Like any treatment, it's no panacea, but by god was it liberating, and I'm not entirely disabled by perfectionism these days :)