Steps to Improve Your Writing
adamfaliq.wordpress.com
Steps to Improve Your Writing
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Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#2> “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation have been found to coincide with cycles of sunspot activity”
> which can be simplified to:
> “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation coincide with cycles of sunspot activity”
> Not only the phrase “have been found” adds nothing to the prose, it also does not state the subject. Removing the phrase will make the prose above more concise.
This, and by leaving out the weasly "have been found" you take ownership of the statement, which forces you to be more careful and critical when citing other people's results.
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#3> “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation have been found to coincide with cycles of sunspot activity” > which can be simplified to: > “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation coincide with cycles of sunspot activity” > Not only the phrase “have been found” adds nothing to the prose, it also does not state the subject. Removing the phrase will make the prose above more concise. This, and by leaving out t…
OP here. Taking ownership of the statement is an interesting perspective. I've never thought of that. In my experience, when I take ownership, my writing tends to feel more honest. I acknowledge what I know or don't know, which makes the writing clearer for the readers.
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#4This is clear writing?
2. Because we know nothing about the local conditions, we could not determine how effectively the committee had allocated funds to areas that need the most assistance.
We can't tell if the committee spent wisely because we don't know our way around here.
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#5To me, the hardest part of writing is getting the first draft done. I'm a good enough self critic to do a reasonable job of editing, but the writer's block is real and awful.
The standard advice is to silence the internal critic and write. Of course, it's easier said than done.
I'm supposed to be writing a paper. I'm commenting on HN instead.
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#6To me, the hardest part of writing is getting the first draft done. I'm a good enough self critic to do a reasonable job of editing, but the writer's block is real and awful. The standard advice is to silence the internal critic and write. Of course, it's easier said than done. I'm supposed to be writing a paper. I'm commenting on HN instead.
In my experience it’s got more to do with expectations.
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#7This is clear writing? 2. Because we know nothing about the local conditions, we could not determine how effectively the committee had allocated funds to areas that need the most assistance. We can't tell if the committee spent wisely because we don't know our way around here.
The later is hardly clear writing. I think you've mistaken terseness and informality for clarity.
You misconstrue "wise spending" with "allocating funds to areas that need the most assistance". The two are not informationally equivalent.
You leave out the information that you know nothing about local conditions. Presumably you've jumped to conclusions about what local conditions means.
And lastly, it must be pointed out that a perfectly valid interpretation of your version is that you were unable to form an opinion on the committees spending because you got lost in the carpark/ building/town...
I think one could arguably simplify the original further to:
"Knowing nothing about local conditions, we could not determine how effectively the committee allocated funds to areas needing the most assistance."
But it's very hard to move past that without fundamental information changing, and even my changes I accept are a little bit stylistically subjective, albeit with a marginally lower word count to convey fundamentally the same information.
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#8Some good tips, but I read the section on nominalisation three times and I can't for the life of me tell you what nominalisation means or how to apply it (or not).
However, it piqued my interest in the concept, and this article helped me get a little closer: https://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/3b.html
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#9> “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation have been found to coincide with cycles of sunspot activity” > which can be simplified to: > “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation coincide with cycles of sunspot activity” > Not only the phrase “have been found” adds nothing to the prose, it also does not state the subject. Removing the phrase will make the prose above more concise. This, and by leaving out t…
I'm a little cautious of that. “have been found” implies a correlation but reserves some doubt; to omit it is to say the correlation is extremely strong, effectively beyond doubt. That's a strong implication. To leave that quaifier phrase in suggests the author recognises the signal is noisy and some other experts may disagree about the correlation being present.
Anyway, I really appreciate this kind of thing. There's too much bullshit writing and I'm glad someone is pushing back.
(Edited for clarity)
Re: Steps to Improve Your Writing
#10> “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation have been found to coincide with cycles of sunspot activity” > which can be simplified to: > “Regular patterns of drought and precipitation coincide with cycles of sunspot activity” > Not only the phrase “have been found” adds nothing to the prose, it also does not state the subject. Removing the phrase will make the prose above more concise. This, and by leaving out t…
That's not how science works. "Have been found" is not a weasel phrase, it's an accurate description of empirical observations.