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Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

pewsocialtrends.org

1–10 of 23 posts

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#5

This is pretty much coincidental with the rise of online dating. Who could have guessed that trusting the adtech industry with your love life was a bad idea?

Yet another instance of blaming societal ills on tech, instead of the supposedly freedom/agency loving users.

Read Houellebecq or any dating advice forum, for arguments on how excess choice enabled by apps makes dating less egalitarian and ruins it for the “weaker” section.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#6
post #5

This is pretty much coincidental with the rise of online dating. Who could have guessed that trusting the adtech industry with your love life was a bad idea?

Yet another instance of blaming societal ills on tech, instead of the supposedly freedom/agency loving users . Read Houellebecq or any dating advice forum, for arguments on how excess choice enabled by apps makes dating less egalitarian and ruins it for the “weaker” section.

I am not blaming tech - I doubt dating has become harder when everyone got mobile phones -, I am blaming the adtech industry which is well-known for shady practices, dark patterns, and other UX/algorithmic shenanigans designed to maximize engagement on their apps, regardless of whether the app users derive personal happiness from it. It's not controversial, even on HN where half the demographics is on adtech jobs, to remind people that the goal of dating apps is to keep you on them, and if you find a fulfilling relationship, you won't stay on the apps, so they are incentivized to make sure you don't find a fulfilling relationship. Hence the headline: dating has become harder.

As for Houellebecq, his books are mostly about how gen X dudes feel empty inside - the crude prose and extremely plain writing style make for an interesting couple of books but there's very little beyond it. He also somehow makes the argument that men would be somehow less frustrated in places where people have less agency in their dating choices, which is an interesting, if unproved assertion - it would be nice if any citizens of the Islamic Republic of Iran, or Algeria, or Pakistan on HN could chime in and say if they agree with it.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#7

This is pretty much coincidental with the rise of online dating. Who could have guessed that trusting the adtech industry with your love life was a bad idea?

Why would online dating make offline dating harder? Unless you're young and in the LGB group most people find their partners offline.

I think the truth is that dating is considered optional nowadays, which makes it more competitive both offline and online. People have minimum standards and if they can't find someone that matches these standards they can always stay single.

I personally don't believe in online dating, because the business model just doesn't work for me. Most dating apps are built for singles and once you find a long term relationship you cease using the app. An online dating company can only make money off of casual dating and perpetual singles. A "real" dating app should still provide value years into a relationship, otherwise there will always be a conflict of interest.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#8
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yet another instance of blaming societal ills on tech, instead of the supposedly freedom/agency loving users . Read Houellebecq or any dating advice forum, for arguments on how excess choice enabled by apps makes dating less egalitarian and ruins it for the “weaker” section.

I am not blaming tech - I doubt dating has become harder when everyone got mobile phones -, I am blaming the adtech industry which is well-known for shady practices, dark patterns, and other UX/algorithmic shenanigans designed to maximize engagement on their apps, regardless of whether the app users derive personal happiness from it. It's not controversial, even on HN where half the demographics is on adtech jobs, to…

Your first comment was too short to get your idea across and easy to misinterpret. Now that you have clarified your stance it's much easier to understand your argument.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#9
post #2

Side rant Reducing sexual encounters to normalizing consent forms is pretty ridiculous. A few creeps ruined it for all of us I am a man and if a woman asked me to sign something prior to sex I would leave

Sure signing forms might kill the vibe but the move towards enthusiastic consent and actually asking 'What do you want to do?' is great imo.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#10
post #4

Half of US adults are women. Men, after aging for the last 10 years: "No, it hasn't gotten harder." Women, after aging for the last 10 years: "Yes, it has gotten harder."

This is a well-spread stereotype but is it backed up by reality? At the bare minimum I'd like to know about HN's personal experiences during their twenties and thirties.
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