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Combining finances

blog.mitchjlee.com

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Re: Combining finances

#2
This is what my SO and me have been doing for 8 ish years now and it's great. We call it "pocket money". I can't complain when she spends it all on shoes and bags, she can't complain when I spend it all on beer and hamburgers.

When we were poor, we both only got a little pocket money each month. Now that we're richer, we both get more. I buy hotel breakfasts now sometimes (the buffet ones), on normal work days, in my home town. It's terribly decadent but hey, it's my money. Other people buy iPhones. I have nobody to answer to but me. It's lovely.

I warmly recommend pocket money.

Re: Combining finances

#3
I see lots of choices out there, and different things work for different people... and sometimes things evolve, and like relationships the finances should / will too, even when you don't want them to.

It became clear that when my wife went back to school we couldn't sit and do math or rearrange everything all the time. We just put it altogether.

Nothing is easier when married than just putting it into one pot and it is all "our" money. It's not about who does what (maybe one day someone does more dishes, makes more money) and it's all "ours".

But even than if you have a couple with very different spending and someone is more responsible, I don't think it is bad to establish an "allowance" for everyone for as the article describes "splurges".

The important thing is to always be communicating about it.

Re: Combining finances

#4
post #2

This is what my SO and me have been doing for 8 ish years now and it's great. We call it "pocket money". I can't complain when she spends it all on shoes and bags, she can't complain when I spend it all on beer and hamburgers. When we were poor, we both only got a little pocket money each month. Now that we're richer, we both get more. I buy hotel breakfasts now sometimes (the buffet ones), on normal work days, in my…

>I buy hotel breakfasts now sometimes (the buffet ones), on normal work days, in my home town.

Where do you find the time to clean all your monocles?

Re: Combining finances

#5
post #4
post #2

This is what my SO and me have been doing for 8 ish years now and it's great. We call it "pocket money". I can't complain when she spends it all on shoes and bags, she can't complain when I spend it all on beer and hamburgers. When we were poor, we both only got a little pocket money each month. Now that we're richer, we both get more. I buy hotel breakfasts now sometimes (the buffet ones), on normal work days, in my…

>I buy hotel breakfasts now sometimes (the buffet ones), on normal work days, in my home town. Where do you find the time to clean all your monocles?

I usually ask the maid to do it.

Re: Combining finances

#7

I would be very frustrated if I explicity had less fun money than my spouse.

That is exactly the opposite of what the article suggests.

> Both partners have equal access to it, and both partners will continue to receive the same monthly allocation for fun money no matter how much each person makes.

Re: Combining finances

#8
What if one spouse makes seven figures and the other is unemployed and takes care of the household? The income disparity then is too high for this, it seems to me, but maybe it's just me.

Re: Combining finances

#9
This sounds basically like have one pot of money, but allow both people to blow some of it every month on unnecessary stuff. Which is the opposite of what a saver personality would like to do. I don't see how it would work in a relationship where one person is blowing the "fun money" every month while the other person saves it. There would still be resentment.

Re: Combining finances

#10
post #9

This sounds basically like have one pot of money, but allow both people to blow some of it every month on unnecessary stuff. Which is the opposite of what a saver personality would like to do. I don't see how it would work in a relationship where one person is blowing the "fun money" every month while the other person saves it. There would still be resentment.

There's no way to create a budget the solves the problem of partners fundamentally disagreeing about the economic model of their shared life.
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