How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
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Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#2Gather around friends, the wine is on me.
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#3So I’ll just leave some bits here. For me the quote that started to conceptualize romantic love was “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” from Robert Heinlein. But really that’s not the whole story. Just like we have many different kinds of non-romantic love (kids, candy, outdoors, parents, friends, motorcycles, precision instruments, algorithms) we also experience many different kinds of romantic love. We often talk about “the love of your life” and “the one” as the ultimate version of romantic love. But it’s not an escalator: https://offescalator.com/what-escalator/. And if you follow this model of relationships, you quickly arrive at the concept of casual love: https://www.carsieblanton.com/blog/post/82149148832/casual-l....
The idea that you can say “I love you” to a partner 2 weeks into a relationship and not place any expectations on it being actionable is very freeing. I have experienced it myself several times on both ends. It is a wonderful thing. Remember folks, you don’t have to love every partner you have. And if you love them, you don’t have to do anything about it. You can love for a week or a lifetime, you can love for a lifetime and never get serious. You can get serious but not married. The choices are yours and many options exist for all kinds different relationship types.
Edit: if anyone wants to nerd out about non-monogamous/polyamorous relationships, I am happy to talk about it.
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#4I wonder how Ayn Rand would feel about this article. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMNUdDC4tEc
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#5> In Russian, the verb that means discover or recognize also contains the verb to know.
The English very nearly does as well. The "gn" in "recognize" has the same etymological root [1] as the "kn" in "know"---and as the "зн" in "сознать" (recognize) and "знать" (know). It's not quite as obvious as in the Russian, but "acknowledge" means nearly the same thing as "recognize" and includes "know" as a substring.
[1] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Reconstruction:Proto-Indo-Eur...
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#6So I’ll just leave some bits here. For me the quote that started to conceptualize romantic love was “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” from Robert Heinlein. But really that’s not the whole story. Just like we have many different kinds of non-romantic love (kids, candy, outdoors, parents, friends, motorcycles, precision instruments, algorithms) we also experienc…
I knew you were poly as soon as you mentioned Heinlein as one of your biggest influences on your theory of romance. :)
Love without expectations is a wonderful joyous thing.
A couple songs my longest partner and I love are https://climbingpoetree.bandcamp.com/track/cant-help-but-fly... and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGFu05xB-8
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#7So I’ll just leave some bits here. For me the quote that started to conceptualize romantic love was “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” from Robert Heinlein. But really that’s not the whole story. Just like we have many different kinds of non-romantic love (kids, candy, outdoors, parents, friends, motorcycles, precision instruments, algorithms) we also experienc…
I knew you were poly as soon as you mentioned Heinlein as one of your biggest influences on your theory of romance. :) Love without expectations is a wonderful joyous thing. A couple songs my longest partner and I love are https://climbingpoetree.bandcamp.com/track/cant-help-but-fly... and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGFu05xB-8
Heh. Heinlein wasn’t actually how I came into it, but because his writing was always in the back of my mind, it made it a lot easier to accept. I fell into it the way one falls into a puddle: by a series of mishaps. And those links/songs are excellent, thank you!
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#8I never understood the concept of falling in love. I can understand falling in lust. Love is something you develop over time.
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#9> In Russian, the verb that means discover or recognize also contains the verb to know. The English very nearly does as well. The "gn" in "recognize" has the same etymological root [1] as the "kn" in "know"---and as the "зн" in "сознать" (recognize) and "знать" (know). It's not quite as obvious as in the Russian, but "acknowledge" means nearly the same thing as "recognize" and includes "know" as a substring. [1] http…
Also same root as "cognition". Similar in Spanish, "reconocer" and "conocer" (which also means "to meet", i.e. to know for the first time).
Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)
#10So I’ll just leave some bits here. For me the quote that started to conceptualize romantic love was “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” from Robert Heinlein. But really that’s not the whole story. Just like we have many different kinds of non-romantic love (kids, candy, outdoors, parents, friends, motorcycles, precision instruments, algorithms) we also experienc…
Amazing food for thought! Thank you for the links