Thank HN + Ask: What would you do? (girl advice)

Almost 2 months ago, I was extremely depressed, and was having (recurring) suicidal thoughts. I frankly didn't know what to do, except for maybe go see a psychologist/doctor, but I wasn't too motivated to do that, mainly because (I don't know whether others feel the same way / also because having been to a psychologist some years ago, I found it to be not too useful) I thought I was strong enough to deal with my situation, if I could pull myself together, and that I would feel somewhat under-confident if I needed to take a doctors help (I know this sounds stupid, but I try to keep the doctor away, unless there are no two ways about it).

I did however ask the community (http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1519370) whether anyone here has dealt with similar issues, and well I got a ton of useful advice (special thanks to BobbyH for being an awesome person). I really can't thank you all enough for the suggestions, and advice from personal experiences in many cases.

Anyway, I am doing great from my previous situation, and here are some of the actions I took / results: 1. Much happier now. 2. Started spending more time with friends (talking to my family weekly, they stay in another country). 3. Have started following a structured food intake, and sleep schedule. 4. For the most part, I switched to a vegetarian diet, and have surprisingly lost My suicidal thoughts haven't disappeared, but I am able to manoeuvre my thoughts away from them to something else.

Now comes the tricky part. I need a some more help, and unfortunately it is more life advice, but more happy advice than depressing (I apologise if this is selfish of me, but I could really use some help).

I like a girl, and here is the background story. I joined a casual biking(bicycle) club, in my city, and just last month we had a couple of new members (she was one of them) that started joining us on our rides through the city. We usually end up eating at a tavern after the ride, and then split back up to go our own ways. Its a 10-20 member group, and we all know each other well enough. So I have gone bicycling with this girl, only a couple of times, and initially I just thought she was really cute and funny (and had taken notice of her, nothing more), but the last time around, we were sitting next to each other after the bike ride, and we got talking, and I discovered that she shares a lot of the same interests as me. And we connected really well. She just has this amazingly cute smile, and well I guess I could say I sort-of like like her. I am assuming a lot of you have been in this scenario. But there are some tricky parts and that is what I need help with. 1. She is a college graduate w/ a job, and I am a broke undergraduate student on a meagre scholarship, and random web.dev jobs to pay for stuff. I guess that also makes her somewhat older than I am. She is caucasian, and I am mixed-arab, and have significantly darker skin and a thick accent. I am from another country, and I have had only one girlfriend previously, and that was in high school, but she was arab. Also, I guess I am a n00b when it comes to navigating women but in America, there are so many different random things like dating, I remember my previous gf, I had just liked her, and asked her whether she would be my girlfriend, but since that time like in 2005, I have taken a significant blow to my self-confidence, which I have since been trying to build-up. Like a lot of people on here, I am a little introverted. Also, I understand that a lot of you might say that we are living in a society that is very accepting of couples of different cultures, but society's opinion is not the point. I don't want t risk losing/ hurting my friendship with this girl, and well it is ultimately her opinion that matters. Sorry for this long essay, I have just been losing sleep over this.

So here is what I would like your help. Whenever you have really really liked someone, how do you go about it. Please don't suggest "pua" as I don't think it is for me. But I would really like if you all could share your own experiences, even if it is of how you approached your past/current significant other in your life?

Thanks in anticipation.

[email: zoynga@gmail.com]

My wife says I shouldn't give advise like this but I will anyways (she doesn't read hackernews).

I would keep it simple and ask her to go somewhere non-datish, like starbucks and get her an email. If you want to give a reason it could even to be to continue a topic of conversation you have started..

You should be thinking about making her your friend and working up to dating. This is an easier transition. Everyone needs friends and friends that are girls have many more friends that are girls; so it increases the possibility of other relationships if there is no mutual connection.

Look: You need a counselor. A real one, not a pseudonymous virtual person. Please try to find one. Please do not try to get counseling by asking for it at random on the Web, as you are doing now. Not because I mind or anything, but because it is really risky. It is an utterly lousy medium for counseling, and you are at serious risk.

Take your problem more seriously. I like all that you have done so far, but it sounds like you are not out of the woods quite yet.

Depression is a serious disease that many people fail to take seriously. If you were having heart attack symptoms and you asked me for advice I wouldn't sit here advising over the Internet; I'd tell you to seek local medical advice. And here I must do the same. It would be irresponsible to do otherwise.