She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#1

Post by vincentbarr » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 3:58 AM UTC

She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry
nytimes.com

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#2

Post by mankash666 » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 5:46 AM UTC

About the protagonist - http://m.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=ari-j...

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#3

Post by Sukotto » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 6:19 AM UTC

Interesting to compare/contrast this story with Richard Feynman's first marriage.

Here author Ari Diaconis chooses NOT to marry Dunia Rkein due to his illness, uncertain survival prospect, and not wanting to burden her with his long-term care (if he survived)

Compare to Feynman, who married Arline Greenbaum despite the fact that she had severe tuberculosis and only a slim chance to survive.

Similar, but different. (Of course)

I wonder, is it better to never marry, or to lose the spouse shortly afterward? Is it easier or harder depending on the gender of the survivor (in our era, not the 1940s)?

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#4

Post by tekklloneer » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 6:28 AM UTC

As someone with long term health conditions, it hangs in the back of your mind. I'm fortunate enough not to have to call mine "chronic", and I may (probably will) be blessed by the results of research from over a decade...

But it haunts me in every relationship I have, even if it's irrational.

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#5

Post by pmarreck » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 6:38 AM UTC

mankash666 wrote: post #2

About the protagonist - http://m.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=ari-j...

oh jesus, I missed that italicized bit at the end so opening this was like a kick in the stomach

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#6

Post by Gatsky » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 6:53 AM UTC

Worth reading all the way to the very end.

Life is short.

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#7

Post by tajen » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 7:14 AM UTC

Sukotto wrote: post #3

Interesting to compare/contrast this story with Richard Feynman's first marriage. Here author Ari Diaconis chooses NOT to marry Dunia Rkein due to his illness, uncertain survival prospect, and not wanting to burden her with his long-term care (if he survived) Compare to Feynman, who married Arline Greenbaum despite the fact that she had severe tuberculosis and only a slim chance to survive. Similar, but different. (O…

Depends if you’d give them your inheritance.

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#8

Post by Simon_says » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 7:44 AM UTC

Sukotto wrote: post #3

Interesting to compare/contrast this story with Richard Feynman's first marriage. Here author Ari Diaconis chooses NOT to marry Dunia Rkein due to his illness, uncertain survival prospect, and not wanting to burden her with his long-term care (if he survived) Compare to Feynman, who married Arline Greenbaum despite the fact that she had severe tuberculosis and only a slim chance to survive. Similar, but different. (O…

Not to mention Tuberculosis is transmissible when Ari's ailment presumably was not.

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#9

Post by Simon_says » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 7:45 AM UTC

I couldn't figure out why they couldn't marry. Choose not to, maybe, but "couldn't"?

Re: She Was My World, but We Couldn’t Marry

#10

Post by kaptain » Mon, Mar 19, 2018, 8:32 AM UTC

Simon_says wrote: post #9

I couldn't figure out why they couldn't marry. Choose not to, maybe, but "couldn't"?

From the article:

> We would be married but for my condition, which has placed a question mark at the end of nearly everything. Will experimental treatments eventually fix me? Can I contribute to a family? Is it fair to ask that Dunia sustain a lifetime of my poor health?