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Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

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Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#1

Post by throwawayqdhd »

This question might come across as dumb, especially for a 30 year old, but I come from a culture where this aspect of work was never emphasized and at this point, I don't know who to ask.

Basically, since as long as I can remember, I've had issues motivating myself to work and focusing on a single task.

I've used everything from rewards ("If I work for X hours, I'll play a video game") and punishment ("If I don't work for X hours, I'm a complete failure") to get myself to work.

I have to come up with elaborate new schemes to get myself to focus. I've tried awarding myself "points" for doing a task, turning my work into a virtual RPG. I've tried keeping elaborate spreadsheets of my work habits. I've tried the Seinfeld method of mapping out my "win" and "fail" days.

Essentially, I come up with a new tactic to motivate myself every couple of months. If I don't do so, I find myself struggling to meet my goals and distracted.

Part of the reason for this is perhaps the nature of my work. I'm a freelancer and have been one since I graduated from college. I make a decent enough earning because I've acquired a niche set of in-demand skills. But I struggle to meet deadlines and never have enough dedication to meet any of my long-term tasks (such as building an app or starting a business).

For years, I thought this was "normal". But I'm now starting to think that maybe I just don't have a regular case of procrastination.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is work such a complicated endeavor for you as well? Am I suffering from some form of undiagnosed ADHD?

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#2

Post by montrose »

It's normal to struggle this way with work you don't love sufficiently, which (unless you're lucky) tends to include the work you do for money. Companies have techniques to motivate employees. E.g. your boss or peers will be upset if you don't do something, and happy with you if you do. As a freelancer you don't have that, so the struggle is more visible to you.

Some people can sometimes find types of work that they love so much that this doesn't happen. I have often managed to.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#3

Post by m_fayer »

I'm in my mid 30s and I think I'm in the middle of the pack as far as productivity/focus/procrastination go. From that perspective and from your own description of yourself, I would put you below average, and much more importantly - your performance is making you unhappy.

I think this calls for a self-diagnostic. I would definitely see a therapist and maybe a doctor to make sure there aren't any subtle undiagnosed issues holding you back. This could be mild depression, ADHD, or heck sleep apnea. Or maybe you're completely in the wrong field for yourself and a counselor could help to quickly suss that out. Or maybe you're a wild perfectionist and don't even know it. There's a million possible explanations that could be completely invisible to you but accessible to a trained 3rd party.

If you were in your early 20s I'd say... muddle through, no one starts off awesome. But by your 30s I think it's reasonable to expect more and appropriate to get proactive about getting to the bottom of this.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#4

Post by andybak »

> Am I suffering from some form of undiagnosed ADHD?

It's worth looking into this. I know people who found a diagnosis extremely helpful - even those who chose not to avail themselves of the medications available. There's several online questionnaires that would give you an idea of the kind of questions you'd be asked if you went for a consultation. Some of the traits are quiet distinct and you'll have an immediate sense of familiarity. If you find yourself saying "Gosh, I thought that was just me" then it's probably a sign. :).

Feel free to msg me and I can pass on a bit more info.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#5

Post by zinckiwi »

I'm familiar with this. There's no magic solution, sadly, but I'll share one thing that has helped me and may apply at least to some of your situations.

I realised a while ago that my main issue was with nebulous tasks -- that is, the more concrete, defined, and _meetable_ a task was, the less trouble I had with it. So I started to break down large tasks, which never got started much less finished, into smaller ones, in the same way you might break a scrum-poker 20-pointer into a bunch of 3s.

You want to go from this:

- I should really write [some great app idea]

To this:

- I'll make a list of technologies that I want to use

- I'll read the docs, like a book, for the ones that are new

- I'll write a single api endpoint

- I'll flesh out the api for the rest of a feature

- I'll MVP a UI for that one feature, without any concern for design

- etc.

In my case, a combination of the size of and amount of ambiguity in a task is inversely proportional to the ability I have to both get it underway and get it finished.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#6

Post by llarsson »

What long-term goals do you have for yourself, really? Do you have any? And if you say you do, do they actually motivate you?

Building an app or starting your own business sound like typical HN crowd goals, but do they actually apply to you?

It seems to me that you right now struggle with seeing the effects of your work, and how they relate to whatever long-term goal you may have. Because there seems to be a disconnect there, you do not feel motivated. But this will not change until you: (a) have a clear long-term goal that you actually care about, and (b) figure out how to work on tasks that help achieve the goal.

Why are you doing whatever it is you are doing?

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#7

Post by pieperz »

I always thought I was ADHD, then I started a business, turns out I just like to do things my way and lead not follow. I've struggled to "focus" my whole life I'm a jack of all trades and master of none.

When you find the right thing you'll know. I would do what I do now for free or if I was worth 100 Million because I love the game.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#8

Post by hungerstrike »

Are you working by yourself most of the time? I forget where I read it, but I think it was Joel Spolsky that said “Don’t be a guy in a room” because even if you can do whole projects by yourself, it gets boring and feels unfulfilling compared to working on a team.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#10

Post by ajeet_dhaliwal »

hungerstrike wrote: post #8

Are you working by yourself most of the time? I forget where I read it, but I think it was Joel Spolsky that said “Don’t be a guy in a room” because even if you can do whole projects by yourself, it gets boring and feels unfulfilling compared to working on a team.

The exact opposite is true for me most of the time. The open office ruins it, working on my own or limiting contact is productive.
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