How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
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How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
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Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#2Talking with a Boston cop, he tells me he's married to a nurse. I asked "Who has the most stressful job?". His response: "Her, she actually has to care about the people she works with."
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#3This article is about weak men, men who are too lazy and slothful to shoulder responsibilities like running the household finances. Such men are more like children, doing the minimal amount possible, so lacking in initiative and organization that they are unable to even hire a cleaning service. Saying this is about "understanding" "emotional labor" is wrong because it lets weak, child-like men off the hook too easily for their failings. They are just lazy and ineffectual.
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#4Edit: Personally, i find it a bit ridiculous the fact that people always find ways to blame other people for their own problems - in this case, someone is THINKING too much, and that somehow is someone else's fault?
If you want help, ASK FOR HELP. Otherwise, we're being chauvinistic if we even offer. This is what society has devolved to.
Does "Emotional Labor" exist? sure. But people need to manage their own mental stress levels. friends and family should help when they can, but they shouldn't be blamed necessarily be blamed for it.
I don't want you to clean the dishes. I want you to WANT to clean the dishes.
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#5This is a very good piece that makes a kind of labor visible that often goes unseen.
The article quotes a few sociologists; the concept of "emotional labor" comes from another that isn't cited in the piece, Arlie Russel Hochschild. Hochschild also coined the term "the second shift" to refer to the wildly uneven gendered division of labor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arlie_Russell_Hochschild#Work_...
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#6I found this comic on the topic also insightful:
“You should’ve asked”
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#7I'm not sure I buy this. In my experience at least, it all comes down to standards — it sounds like this woman has higher standards for what constitutes a "running household", and gets frustrated when her husband doesn't share those standards. It sounds like he would be content with boxes on the floor, dirty bathrooms, etc. When she asks him to raise the house to her standard, she is asking him to adopt her perspective of what is acceptable and what is not, which is not trivial. He needs to be asked to tidy up because he genuinely does not see a problem with things being messy.
Why isn't the solution for the woman to compromise on her expectations, finding a middle ground for cleanliness and organization? Why must the man fully adopt her perspective?
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#8Edit: Personally, i find it a bit ridiculous the fact that people always find ways to blame other people for their own problems - in this case, someone is THINKING too much, and that somehow is someone else's fault? If you want help, ASK FOR HELP. Otherwise, we're being chauvinistic if we even offer. This is what society has devolved to. Does "Emotional Labor" exist? sure. But people need to manage their own mental s…
> “I don't want you to clean the dishes. I want you to WANT to clean the dishes.”
I can relate to where you are coming from here, but I ultimately arrived at:
“I want you to care about me wanting to have clean dishes in our shared home.”
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#9Based on its content, I'm surprised this made the #6 spot on the front page of HN, but now it seems to have disappeared altogether. I had to search to find it.
Re: How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality
#10I spent about 5 years trying to convince my wife to let me hire a housekeeping service. I had several in, and none met her standards. I finally found one she loves. Me, I would have been happy with the first one that I had in.