Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#1

Post by noname123 » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 6:54 AM UTC

Oh the wise elders of Hack News,

I'd like to cheat in life and instead of learning my life lessons the hard way, I'd like to skip ahead and read the ending of the current chapter that I'm currently on.

When I was in middle school, my biggest worry was getting the latest Abercrombie & Fitch cargo pants to fit in on the school hallway, whether this girl on my school bus liked me, and if the size of my gentalia was on par with my peers back then.

When I was in high school, my biggest worry was doing well in school so that I could get into an ivy league school; tacking on a bunch of AP courses and extracurricular activities, not necessarily because I enjoyed AP Chemistry or the track team, but I had to, to get into a ivy league school; and trying to look "cool," "edgy," & "artsy" while caring to stay within the boundaries of MTV's and my high school's social conventions.

When I was in college, my biggest worry was doing well in school so I could go onto a top graduate/medical school or grab a six-figure salary at an i-bank upon graduation. Befriended certain people, chased certain girls (and botched things up royally after the chasing phase is over), got involved in some unsavory debauchery not necessarily because I wanted to live out the lives that "burn, burn, burn" but rather out of my fear of missing out on the "college experience."

Of course, it didn't all seem that way when I was in the moment - and certainly I don't regret the things I did in the past (because I can't change the past) and I'll be certain to make lots of mistakes in the future too. And even if an older version of me, traveled back in time to my middle school, told me how stupid of me it was to spend $70 of my parents' money on a pair of Abercrombie & Fitch cargo pants, I know that my middle school self would respond, "are you crazy, I need to get these pants to impress this chick on my school bus!"

I only beseech your wisdom about what mistakes/naivetes I'll incur in my twenties, oh the elders of the Hacker News, so that when I realize later how right you were after my twenties, I could slap myself silly and say to myself, in the place of your absence, "see? I told you so!"

Best, noname123

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#2

Post by daeken » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:21 AM UTC

I'm 22, and perhaps I'm naive in my belief of this, but one of the biggest things I've learned is that theory and practice are rarely aligned. Reading about mistakes someone else has made generally only helps you see that you've made the same mistake in hindsight; when you're heading down that same path, you tend to justify it or are completely blind to the fact that it's a mistake.

All that said, I'm curious about what comes of this thread regardless of how useful it ends up being.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#3

Post by wyclif » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:23 AM UTC

That girlfriend material is the same as wife material.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#4

Post by pavs » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:28 AM UTC

One of the most important lesson I have learned is the importance of savings and living a frugal life. Even if you are independently wealthy, living a frugal life can give you a sense of introspection that is hard to understand for most when you are wealthy.

Save. Save. Save.

They say you learn your biggest life lesson as you stumble through your experiences in life. Poverty is something you would NOT want to experience in your life and there is no guarantee you will survive through it and when (or if) you do survive it might take a big chunk of your life you will never get back or recover from the process.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#5

Post by Terry_B » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:29 AM UTC

I recently asked a question that got a lot of responses along these lines. Hope you get even more! http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1366217

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#6

Post by thomasfl » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:29 AM UTC

The developer who hasn't coded assembler in his yoth is crazy. The seasoned programmer coding assembler is also crazy.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#7

Post by duopixel » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:30 AM UTC

Being too cocky about the experience and depth of knowledge I had at the time. I was a big fish in a small pond, and I outperformed my peers, but on once you go up the professional ladder you realize how little you know.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#8

Post by chmike » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:31 AM UTC

Meritocracy : the reward would be function of merit.

What I've learned is that merit is a multivariate dimension with different weights on the variables. Weights varies heavily with time and context. The reward is also very relative because it has never bee what I would consider a legitimate reward.

The error was induced by school notes working model as well as by education process of parents with rewarding and praising. I assumed it would apply in "true life" everywhere with everybody that would have to judge or evaluate me.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#9

Post by strait » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:32 AM UTC

Experience the excitement of slapping yourself silly now instead of later, because it will probably be much less enjoyable when you're older. Words of wisdom.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#10

Post by fezzl » Wed, Jun 30, 2010, 7:32 AM UTC

That things will usually turn out better than I expect. It's important to have realistic (read: deliberately-lowered) expectations in life. I always find that I am objectively better off when I don't burden myself with out-of-reach ambitions.

P.S.: I'm a college sophomore.