Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
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Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#2This article hits home. Five years ago, I created a SaaS app that did well, followed by one that did less so, and another that flopped (all eBay selling software).
New projects weren't having as much an impact and making me feel good, so I sat around reading books.
A turning point came when I read two: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and On Writing by Stephen King. The first teaches we get optimal experience out of what we spend our attention on. It really got me psyched about chasing that feeling of being in the zone with my work. On Writing did that too. I saw another HN poster refer to King's "blue collar work ethic" -- totally true. He works hard because he loves to.
I recently started working again for pleasure, less encumbered by insecurities. I'm still working on it, still practicing. I created an open source framework for Amazon Echo development, and it's starting to get some traction. I think I was able to produce the work to get the traction because I've had a clearer mind.
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#3This article hits home. Five years ago, I created a SaaS app that did well, followed by one that did less so, and another that flopped (all eBay selling software). New projects weren't having as much an impact and making me feel good, so I sat around reading books. A turning point came when I read two: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and On Writing by Stephen King. The first teaches we get optimal experience out of w…
Looking back on it, how much of the problem was the segment you were working on (ebay, retail, auctions), versus the specific product itself (its design, upkeep, et al)? Were you able to narrow those types of factors down when it came to what was creating the negative feeling?
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#4This article hits home. Five years ago, I created a SaaS app that did well, followed by one that did less so, and another that flopped (all eBay selling software). New projects weren't having as much an impact and making me feel good, so I sat around reading books. A turning point came when I read two: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and On Writing by Stephen King. The first teaches we get optimal experience out of w…
Looking back on it, how much of the problem was the segment you were working on (ebay, retail, auctions), versus the specific product itself (its design, upkeep, et al)? Were you able to narrow those types of factors down when it came to what was creating the negative feeling?
I know why I did well to start. I had low expectations and no basis for self-comparison. I focused on the work instead of the results, so the results ended up being pretty good.
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#5I have extreme anxiety, caused by OCD where the compulsions are mental rather than physical rituals. Looking through this article, all of the tips are tremendously powerful.
Unfortunately, they're things that have taken me over 5 years to really become aware of, accept, practice--oh man, is persevering difficult--make mistakes, and finally get better at. Unfortunately, as with many mental habits, it's really, really hard to implement advice when other people just tell it to you. It's a much longer process than that.
Still, all the points are great.
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#6This sort of thing has been around for a long time. See "The Power of Positive Thinking" (1952), by Norman Vincent Peale.[1]
The short version: "Insecure", by Joan Jett.[2]
The century-old version: YMCA Salesmanship Training Manual, 1920.[3]
[1] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC0SXM [2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAVeAVvJIoo [3] https://books.google.com/books?id=CBFPAAAAYAAJ
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#7The world, and Silicon Valley startup culture in particular, is filled to the brim with oblivious narcissists. You can pry my nagging self-doubt from my cold, dead fingers, thank you very much.
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#8It seems to me that the more you have a propensity to think (or over-think), the more likely it is that you may be able to construct rationalizations (excuses) before/during the moment as to why you might not be able to do something. More insidiously, you can construct these excuses after the moment passes, like an endless negative Nancy TiVo gone berzerk in your mind.
There is no one-size-fits all solution to self-doubt, lack of confidence, etc. Really, the only solution for nagging self-doubt is to generate contradictory evidence to self-doubt. That is, do something.
Motivation is not ideal either because usually it makes you think you can do something.
The more I work on meditation and visualization and other techniques - the more aware I am in the actual moment of when I am resisting doing something out of my comfort/risk zone. There is a lot to be said for Zen and Stoicism, as well. And in the end, only you (or your closest friends or partner) know when you are not pushing yourself.
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#9Every time you doubt yourself, ask yourself if you're on the right path. If not, make the adjustments, sometimes drastic. If you are and just are doubting yourself, put your head down and get back to work. Not busy-busy-work, actual work. Best quote I know is "If you think you can't, you can't". Hope this doesn't come as preposterous, it's common sense, but at some stage I needed to hear it too and that helped me. WORK is HEALTH.
Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head
#10There's two really good approaches to this issue that I've learned. The one in the article is cognitive behavioral therapy (also, dialectical behavioral therapy, depending on the type of ruminations). Another approach that has been gaining more traction lately is mindfulness, which is basically using meditation to clear the mind of ruminating thoughts.
I've read bits of Feeling Good Handbook, which is an often recommended book for CBT, but I really felt like I connected more with the mindfulness approach. Mindfulness seems to work faster for me since I can use meditation to quickly clear out negative thoughts rather than trying to reason about them over time as with CBT. For mindfulness, I'd highly recommend Hardwiring Happiness, which goes into depth about using neuroplasticity (the ability to rewire the brain) to pave more positive neural paths using mindfulness techniques.
I'm sure both CBT and mindfulness are good approaches and can be used in conjunction, and there's likely other good alternatives to these as well. Ultimately the goal is to balance our evolved negativity bias with more positive thinking.