Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

twosomeapp.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

41–50 of 52 posts

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#41

Post by ahoyhere »

michaelgrafl wrote: post #37
jonathanconway wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Amy, I agree with your analysis, except for what you leave out: Most couples are like this. The woman IS a silly, child-like, passive, docile baby, and the guy IS a silly, narcissistic, self-absorbed robot. These are the ways women behave, and these are the kinds of guys women fall for, because that's what our culture encourages. If you detect a sexist tone in what I'm saying because I seem to be blaming women, I can…

I'm pretty sure I get to choose who NOT to sleep with, and so do women. All rape aside of course, ho ho ho. The tone of your comment depresses me. It sounds so bitter. And confused. As if you hadn't had sex or a healthy relationship in a very long time, if ever, and feel powerless to change that. If it's so, I hope it changes soon.

Sadly, not having a relationship can be a cause or… a symptom. Not speculating about this commenter cuz who the hell knows, but… most of the people I've known who were truly alone were people who drove everyone away.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#42

Post by jonathanconway »

ahoyhere wrote: post #40
jonathanconway wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If women don't CHOOSE to be with men like this, then either A) women are with men like this, but not by choice, or B) women aren't with men like this, by choice. So which is it, Amy? If most women don't go for men like this, then most relationships aren't like this. But then why would a profit-seeking company spend the dollars on a video that portrays people like this? You yourself implied (I think) in a recent tweet…

You think we're having a big debate, but we're not. Your central thesis: "Most couples are like this. Women are like x. Men are like y." You have zero evidence for this. We're not having a discussion at all. I am saying "There's no evidence" and you're arguing with tautologies -- "If women don't CHOOSE to be with men like this, then either A) women are with men like this, but not by choice, or B) women aren't with me…

> You think we're having a big debate, but we're not

True, because you're not coming out and saying what you think is true; you're just attacking my statements.

> That false binary choice includes a big assumption. Do you see it?

Just one? I think it includes several, but I tried to narrow it down to what I guessed you would think the most likely possibilities are.

Maybe you don't think women have a choice. Maybe you don't think there's such a thing as free will at all.

I don't have time to second-guess every possible opinion you might have; I'm offering my own opinion and trying to ferret out what yours is.

> If I was a guy, I'd find Couple's apparent opinion of me insulting

And you never say why. Is that a moral judgement on your part?

> My question: "Do they KNOW what they're doing? Do they SEE what they're portraying with their video? Do they know what narcissism is?" is a useful one

Is it one you intend to find the answer to?

I think it's pretty clear, from having observed a whole range of marketing material and cultural artifacts (TV shows, etc) that this really is how people think about relationships, and that this company is appealing to that thinking in this ad.

I don't have a massive amount of statistical data to prove this, but I don't have a high regard for statistics anyway. I think it's better to consider as evidence things you can observe directly, rather than having faith that some bean-counter is getting his stats right.

Sorry if I come off as a whiner, but I think human beings generally like to express themselves when something in life is upsetting/depressing to them, and I don't see why I should have to shut up and put up just because I'm a guy.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#43

Post by ahoyhere »

jonathanconway wrote: post #42
ahoyhere wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You think we're having a big debate, but we're not. Your central thesis: "Most couples are like this. Women are like x. Men are like y." You have zero evidence for this. We're not having a discussion at all. I am saying "There's no evidence" and you're arguing with tautologies -- "If women don't CHOOSE to be with men like this, then either A) women are with men like this, but not by choice, or B) women aren't with me…

> You think we're having a big debate, but we're not True, because you're not coming out and saying what you think is true; you're just attacking my statements. > That false binary choice includes a big assumption. Do you see it? Just one? I think it includes several, but I tried to narrow it down to what I guessed you would think the most likely possibilities are. Maybe you don't think women have a choice. Maybe you…

>> You think we're having a big debate, but we're not

> True, because you're not coming out and saying what you think is true; you're just attacking my statements.

Yes. I don't have to have a position, nor do I have to share it with you. Why? Because I'm not trying to describe 100% of all humans, walking around, with my own little pet theory. If I were, the burden of proof would be on me.

> Maybe you don't think women have a choice. Maybe you don't think there's such a thing as free will at all.

No. The enormous hidden assumption is that 3 billion+ people can be jammed into your tidy little binary choice. You've seen it all… you've figured it out. You don't have "a massive amount of statistical data to prove this" -- you have zero data to prove this.

But still, you think you know. Enough to dare to say to the world: "This is how men are. This is how women are."

Oh good! Jonathan Conway figured it out. Stop the presses, everybody! Trim the wicks and lower the shades… we're done here! Everybody out of the pool!

What sheer, monumental gall.

By the by, nobody asked you to "shut up and put up just because [you're] a guy." Nobody asked you to shut up and put up at all, in fact. They merely pushed back against your labeling of the entire human race, because well, that's what people do when they see idiotic things on the internet. They push back.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#44

Post by jonathanconway »

ahoyhere wrote: post #43
jonathanconway wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You think we're having a big debate, but we're not True, because you're not coming out and saying what you think is true; you're just attacking my statements. > That false binary choice includes a big assumption. Do you see it? Just one? I think it includes several, but I tried to narrow it down to what I guessed you would think the most likely possibilities are. Maybe you don't think women have a choice. Maybe you…

>> You think we're having a big debate, but we're not > True, because you're not coming out and saying what you think is true; you're just attacking my statements. Yes. I don't have to have a position, nor do I have to share it with you. Why? Because I'm not trying to describe 100% of all humans, walking around, with my own little pet theory. If I were, the burden of proof would be on me. > Maybe you don't think wome…

> I'm not trying to describe 100% of all humans, walking around, with my own little pet theory

Neither am I, I'm just trying to describe the majority of humans, based on my own experiences.

> The enormous hidden assumption is that 3 billion+ people can be jammed into your tidy little binary choice.

And you're assuming there aren't traits that are common among most of those 3 billion+ people. But I think this marketing video indicates that there are certain common traits, which marketing is designed to appeal to.

> Jonathan Conway figured it out.

I'm not the first person to make these claims.

> nobody asked you to "shut up and put up just because [you're] a guy."

Fine, not here, but on many other forums (e.g. feminist) that's what I'd be told in an indirect kind of way.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#45

Post by jonathanconway »

ahoyhere wrote: post #41
michaelgrafl wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm pretty sure I get to choose who NOT to sleep with, and so do women. All rape aside of course, ho ho ho. The tone of your comment depresses me. It sounds so bitter. And confused. As if you hadn't had sex or a healthy relationship in a very long time, if ever, and feel powerless to change that. If it's so, I hope it changes soon.

Sadly, not having a relationship can be a cause or… a symptom. Not speculating about this commenter cuz who the hell knows, but… most of the people I've known who were truly alone were people who drove everyone away.

No need to speculate. I don't have a relationship, and I've never really had a proper relationship.

This isn't something I'm ashamed of, because I don't base my self-esteem on other people's judgements of me.

Especially not on womens' romantic interest, which in my opinion (based on my observations) has a lot more to do with pre-determined evolutionary subconscious emotions than conscious, rational judgement.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#46

Post by jonathanconway »

michaelgrafl wrote: post #37
jonathanconway wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Amy, I agree with your analysis, except for what you leave out: Most couples are like this. The woman IS a silly, child-like, passive, docile baby, and the guy IS a silly, narcissistic, self-absorbed robot. These are the ways women behave, and these are the kinds of guys women fall for, because that's what our culture encourages. If you detect a sexist tone in what I'm saying because I seem to be blaming women, I can…

I'm pretty sure I get to choose who NOT to sleep with, and so do women. All rape aside of course, ho ho ho. The tone of your comment depresses me. It sounds so bitter. And confused. As if you hadn't had sex or a healthy relationship in a very long time, if ever, and feel powerless to change that. If it's so, I hope it changes soon.

Yes, but women get to choose WHO TO (positively) sleep with; whereas, as a man, you generally don't have that choice, unless you're extremely famous/wealthy/etc., which you generally don't have control over.

I am bitter and confused about heterosexual relationships, because they seem to contain big contradictions which I can't work out.

I've tried to form a theory that explains most of what I observe in straight female attraction: women are attracted to men who are tall and socially powerful (i.e. popular).

This theory seems to generally hold. Yes, I know there are a multitude of OTHER qualities that women at least SAY they're attracted to.

But I think height and popularity are baseline requirements which are common to most women, regardless of what other requirements they choose stack on top.

Yes, I speak in terms of requirements. It's true.

Dating a woman is like going to a job interview. Any man who's honest knows this.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#47

Post by jonathanconway »

MDS100 wrote: post #38
jonathanconway wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If women don't CHOOSE to be with men like this, then either A) women are with men like this, but not by choice, or B) women aren't with men like this, by choice. So which is it, Amy? If most women don't go for men like this, then most relationships aren't like this. But then why would a profit-seeking company spend the dollars on a video that portrays people like this? You yourself implied (I think) in a recent tweet…

Who cares what most couples/women are like. You are on here, so you'll tend to find a very small proportion of women attractive. (presuming higher than average intelligence) If you are proactive enough to choose in your dating life, you wouldn't complain about the culture. That's just externalizing the sources of your problems. "If I'm upset, it's just because I happen to lose out in today's culture." Make the most o…

> play the numbers game

Meaning, just make a complete doormat of myself. Go on as many dates as possible, buy women as many things as possible, just keep giving and giving more and more.

And maybe one day, some woman who no one likes will decide to give me a go, as a last ditch resort, and I'll get lucky for a night or two before she dumps me for someone with higher status.

But of course I must not have enough "self esteem" to do all that.

> If you are proactive enough to choose in your dating life

Oh I have all the choice in the world.

I mean, I can literally CHOOSE who will reject me.

I can approach any woman anywhere and get a rejection within 5 minutes.

That's wonderful.

And the internet makes it even easier, because now, I don't even have to know of the rejection.

I can just send off 100 messages to 100 women and get 0 responses after 5 days, and just assume that I was rejected.

Technology makes life so much easier!

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#48

Post by jonathanconway »

michaelgrafl wrote: post #37
jonathanconway wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Amy, I agree with your analysis, except for what you leave out: Most couples are like this. The woman IS a silly, child-like, passive, docile baby, and the guy IS a silly, narcissistic, self-absorbed robot. These are the ways women behave, and these are the kinds of guys women fall for, because that's what our culture encourages. If you detect a sexist tone in what I'm saying because I seem to be blaming women, I can…

I'm pretty sure I get to choose who NOT to sleep with, and so do women. All rape aside of course, ho ho ho. The tone of your comment depresses me. It sounds so bitter. And confused. As if you hadn't had sex or a healthy relationship in a very long time, if ever, and feel powerless to change that. If it's so, I hope it changes soon.

You know why the tone of my comment depresses you? Because it's true.

It's depressing, because you don't have anything to point to in reality that would refute my viewpoint, because it's just true.

And your success with women isn't based on anything you achieved yourself through your own choices in life.

It's all pre-determined by how tall you are and how many friends you have.

You're full of romantic delusions about actually having some sort of genuine mental connection to the women you date.

I'm revealing the shallowness and emptiness of your ACTUAL relationships.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#49

Post by ahoyhere »

jonathanconway wrote: post #44
ahoyhere wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> You think we're having a big debate, but we're not > True, because you're not coming out and saying what you think is true; you're just attacking my statements. Yes. I don't have to have a position, nor do I have to share it with you. Why? Because I'm not trying to describe 100% of all humans, walking around, with my own little pet theory. If I were, the burden of proof would be on me. > Maybe you don't think wome…

> I'm not trying to describe 100% of all humans, walking around, with my own little pet theory Neither am I, I'm just trying to describe the majority of humans, based on my own experiences. > The enormous hidden assumption is that 3 billion+ people can be jammed into your tidy little binary choice. And you're assuming there aren't traits that are common among most of those 3 billion+ people. But I think this marketin…

> Neither am I, I'm just trying to describe the majority of humans, based on my own experiences.

Oh, that makes your impotent intellectual assertions suddenly defensible again. My mistake.

Re: Show HN: Twosome - app created originally for my girlfriend

#50

Post by jonathanconway »

ahoyhere wrote: post #28
scrumper wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> she's hiding under a sheet with one stripey sock sticking out, a direct echo of "kids reading under the covers when the lights are out." No adult does that. Have a middlebrow dismissal: my wife does that, and she's 33. She loves hiding. I do have to say that you seem a bit grouchy for someone who works at a baby blue and pink startup called 'Freckle' :)

I don't "work" at a "startup," I founded the business! I designed every last bit. That's all me, baby. True cheer doesn't come from denying reality, it comes from understanding life and laughing at the joke. In this case, understanding means understanding narcissism and calling it out (cuz it's opaque to just about everyone else). PS - Does your wife do it while one cutely pigeon-toed stripey-socked foot hangs out an…

Much as I complain about women, I have to admit, this guy is a complete doofus for assuming you "work at" a startup. LOL
Post reply on HN