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Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

lovefuel.app

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Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#101

Post by closewith »

_yb2s wrote: post #80

Lots of comments are saying this is disingenuous, but they are missing the fact that you have to care enough about your partner and relationship to get this app, and actually follow through with the suggestions. There is nothing disingenuous about that, and, frankly, most people wouldn’t care or couldn’t be bothered enough to actually do it. As a busy adult with ADHD, a young kid, and a demanding job it is hard to re…

> There is nothing disingenuous about that, and, frankly, most people wouldn’t care or couldn’t be bothered enough to actually do it.

While I agree that there's nothing specifically wrong with using an app to inspire spontaneity, this seems oddly self-congratulatory.

Actually, most long term partners manager to surprise each other just fine without an app. Just like using it wouldn't make you a bad partner, it doesn't mean you're automatically any better than anyone else either.

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#102

Post by closewith »

personjerry wrote: post #29

One of the most important characteristics in a partner is authenticity. If they didn't think of getting you flowers themself (and had to use an app), is that real?

Is it more real because it's the result of decades of marketing efforts, as almost all flower purchases are?

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#103

Post by pjerem »

bequanna wrote: post #83
outop wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Being spontaneous requires energy. A lot of people lack energy but still loves their partner. The point is that you have a limited amount of energy, but you chose to dedicate some of it to something your partner would like. Optimising by reducing the amount of energy you use to do that defeats the purpose.

Uh huh. Try having a couple kids and then apply this kind of reasoning. There simply isn’t enough time or energy to do everything you want for your family. If you can leverage technology and good ideas to enhance your experiences and relationships, do it.

Yeah honestly I’d be very happy to be at the receiving end of such an app.

(But not this one because I’m pretty suspicious about this mandatory account creation and the fact that they didn’t release in France because of data laws - which are not stronger than GDPR)

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#104

Post by dewey »

citizenkeen wrote: post #96
outop wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What "other problems in that relationship" do you think they might have? Doing little surprises for someone, texting them to wish them a good day, etc, is a form of signalling. People like it because they know that you are thinking about them randomly, and that you care how they're doing. If you're simply using an app reminder to do stuff in order to grind relationship points, it has a completely different meaning.

Two or three times a year, I schedule a dozen emails to my wife. Just little missives that say something sweet that I appreciate about her. I spread them out over the next few months, so she gets little reminders from me that say I love you. When I’m staring down a long, busy day and she looks run down, I schedule an email a few hours later to say “Hope your day is going well, you’re awesome and I’m grateful to have…

> Am I doing romance wrong?

If it works for you then maybe not.

Personally, I think that if there's time to schedule an email, then might as well just send a quick text message. That's more personal and allows for an instant response. I'd also never send an email for personal communication like that, but maybe that's just me.

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#105

Post by bhaney »

Joakim_Habekost wrote: post #93
_yb2s wrote: post #80

Lots of comments are saying this is disingenuous, but they are missing the fact that you have to care enough about your partner and relationship to get this app, and actually follow through with the suggestions. There is nothing disingenuous about that, and, frankly, most people wouldn’t care or couldn’t be bothered enough to actually do it. As a busy adult with ADHD, a young kid, and a demanding job it is hard to re…

This comment made my day, I've been working for two years, day and night, and this is the most accurate representation of how I vision the world with Love Fuel. Thank you!

Your vision of the world with your app is that people don't use it because of its account requirements?

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#106

Post by lynndotpy »

jamesdhutton wrote: post #97

Downloaded it. It wants my email, date of birth, full name and access to all my photos, before it will let me use it. Way too much info. Delete app. Shame because it seems like a nice idea.

https://www.lovefuel.app/terms-conditions Binding arbitration with no opt-out provision. I would also be hesitant to share this much information.

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#107

Post by neilv »

Quoting `https://www.lovefuel.app/team`:

> PAS - Personality Assesment system

> In cooperation with neuropsychologists, couples therapists, and psychologists, we have developed DIREBP. (Dyadic interpersonal romantic emotional behavior profiles).

> Each user has one DIREBP, and it represents you and your personal profile inside of the PAS. The DIREBP represent you measures of psychological personality descriptors. It keeps track of descriptors like: Extrovertism, Anxiety, The Relationships sense of Commitment, and several of hundred more descriptors.

This is very sensitive, intimate, personal information.

Does this profile stay on the device only, and are there conscious measures to prevent inadvertently leaking information about the profile (e.g., such as avoiding leaking interests implicit in secondary network accesses it makes)?

Or is this profile accessible directly by the corporate mothership?

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#108

Post by jbombadil »

jamesdhutton wrote: post #97

Downloaded it. It wants my email, date of birth, full name and access to all my photos, before it will let me use it. Way too much info. Delete app. Shame because it seems like a nice idea.

+1. I immediately reject any app that is asking for a piece of information it has no business knowing. A messaging app asking for my contacts? Makes sense. A gym tracker asking my contacts? Instant delete.

Re: Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner

#109

Post by outop »

sircastor wrote: post #98
outop wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Being spontaneous requires energy. A lot of people lack energy but still loves their partner. The point is that you have a limited amount of energy, but you chose to dedicate some of it to something your partner would like. Optimising by reducing the amount of energy you use to do that defeats the purpose.

Respectfully, I think you’re limiting the valuation to just the culturally propagated version of “caring”. Some people wake up naturally in the morning. Some people need an alarm. They can both care deeply about the reason they’re waking up (a job, an appointment, whatever) but for some people, they need the extra help. For some, setting the reminder is the effort and energy that shows you care. It’s worth saying tho…

Waking up on time is an end in itself. The point is not to show that you have made an effort.

For some other things that we might try to do, the point is to make an effort.

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