Ask HN: How can I stop being jealous of people who succeed before me?

I am a tech entrepreneur. I've dedicated my life to technology and building products that can help people. I'm relatively smart and really hardworking. My success thus far has been modest, though I have been able to raise funding from a prestigious VC firm. My standards are high so I do not consider fundraising any kind of success. I also detest self promotion and so I have not announced the fundraise. My startup feels like it has just recently found product market fit but I'm not sure. Either way I will go for it. The problem is everytime i try to hone in on myself and focus on my goals I hear about someone I know or someone "like me" (i.e. they have similar attributes, aren't friends but are in my peer group, and are working on a similar idea or an idea i've had in the past) whose raised a bunch of money and is all over the press and in some cases has achieved real success. I have this negative feeling for hours, days sometimes that I can only assume is jealousy. Perhaps because I am competitive. Perhaps because in addition to wanting to build products and help people, I am human and I want to be the "first" or the "best" in my peer group. I don't like feeling this feeling though because I know that I genuinely wish this people well and that if i myself were successful I wouldn't feel this way...or maybe I would? I'd love your help and advice on how I can do away with this feeling and focus on being a world class entrepreneur. I am not OK with being OK with failure and I do not accept being mediocre, but there has to be a way of being competitive in a healthy way without having to unfollow every stream of social media from peers that succeed and without having to feel envious of others. Sorry for the long rant but I'd really like to turn the leaf in the new year and I appreciate your help!

What other people are doing have little relevance to what you are doing except that you can learn lessons from the successes and failures of others.

It's the people who are able to nip these jealous thoughts in the bud and plough on with single-handed determination that will have the last laugh.

That said, the book also pointed out that you shouldn't ignore others success or failure, but instead use it to learn from, i.e. it isn't about the person it is about how they failed or succeeded. IMO, using another person as your measuring stick of success/failure is limiting you to their lows and highs, instead measure yourself to the goals you set, and if you are failing there be critical and fix it, but if you are winning you are golden regardless of what Jill, Jack or Danny did.

You have already done something that a very small percentage of people ever do, regardless of how it looks from the inside of the tech industry. You made a team of people believe in your idea, help you fund your idea and think it has enough merit to potentially have a great outcome. That is awesome.

BTW -- Self promotion is the hardest thing for many (if not most) intelligent, honest people to do, but what I have learned is that if you are not telling people who you are they will make assumptions and draw conclusions on their own and very likely those assumptions and conclusions will be half-truths, hearsay or made up and likely not in your favor. For whatever reason our society loves to scream negatively much louder than positively, don't let that be your fate by not being your own best advocate. Of course, balance & moderation in everything seems prudent.