Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

I've had enough.

Hear me out. I've spent the last 5 years of my life slaving away on startups and new business ideas and I'm failing, bad. So tonight I've come to the conclusion that I clearly have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I've lost pretty much all my friends because of the time I've spent trying to make my ideas work. I have spent money I can't afford on ideas that have never came to light. And now it's 2:31am on a Sunday evening and my girlfriend is in bed wondering why I won't come give her a cuddle, but I can't. Because I know I have to wake up tomorrow morning and hit the repeat button on my life again. I have to work all day just to put a roof over our heads. She wants to travel and damn I want to take her so bad, but I can't. I hate what my life has become.

But I have a solution, because I know complaining won't change this. Truth is, I have no idea about business. That's why I can't do it. I come from a working class family, I have working class friends, no one I know has any idea about business or even any interest in the topic. I've read a lot though: on business, development, management & self help. I can do it, I know I can, I just need some guidance. So here I am; asking for guidance. I have about $5000 and I'm willing to put that into an idea, and I have some of those too. So who's ready to play ball with me? I can guarantee the technical skills, could you guarantee the business skills? Maybe together we won't need to press the repeat button on our alarm clocks next Monday.

Let me know, hnineedhelp [at] gmail.com

1: what's something that your girlfriend wants/needs? A bike, a computer, how about a silver necklace. Go buy it for her and give it to here. It should cost you about $1,000

2: When you give it to her, tell her you are taking her on a holiday. You are paying. Spend the $4K on the holiday.

3: Do steps one and two NOW. Get up from your chair and do it now.

After this, you will have a very happy partner who will love you more because you put your relationship ahead of stupid business.

Alternatively you could spend your last $5,000 on one of your ideas or you could spend your $5K on someone elses idea. In either case the idea probably won't work, and even if it is a good idea it does not need your $5K. Your money will be gone. You will never have invested any substantial money into yourself/your girlfriend/your relationship which will fall apart because it's no fun and there's always money pressure and you are always stressed because you never have a holiday and are always working. You'll be in exactly the same position you would have been if you'd spent the $5K on her.

In the meantime, pursue your personal business ambitions as a hobby and stop gambling everything you have on it.

If you've got the technical skills, why is the $5000 so important. I'm sure you've read about being 'lean', why do your start-up ideas require such a cost input, if you already have the technical skills.

Where in the world are you? Technical skills seem more in demand than business skills, but you also say that the people you know, know nothing about business, so I suspect you aren't in one of the technology hubs.

I'll bet that if you look around in your community, you will find business leaders. They may not be running multi-million dollar ventures, or start-ups, but they know the basics of business. See if one of these people can help you flush out your ideas. You'll probably find somebody willing to do it for free. Maybe they'll even want to invest in you (later) if they see you getting the job done and believe in your business.

Don't go blowing your $5k, but make sure you are doing what will make both you and your GF happy. A vacation doesn't have to cost a ton, you can get creative and have an amazing experience.

Next, live like a pauper, saving 60-70+% of that income. Spend your free time doing exactly 3 things 1. working on a side project 2. spending time with your girlfriend. 3. exercise (never count this out, no matter what your life circumstances otherwise)

Then just wait 5 more years. You will either have something going from your side project or you will have enough money saved to legitimately work full time on something without worrying about bills

As far as the idea, go for something as boring as possible. Preferably something that someone else is already paying money for but that the incumbent product is shitty or lacking in some major way. Fix it or make it signficantly cheaper. Business is just a wrapper around value.

Create value, get paid. That's how capitalism works.

i applaud the OP for pushing themselves but also agree that a well paying job is an option they may consider. Better yet, just variate between them. Spend a couple years trying to find collaborators and push projects, then a couple moving slow and steady on the side.