Ask HN: Raising Kids in the City? Where?

Has anyone raised kids in a big, walkable city in the US? London? Elsewhere?

My wife and I lived in downtown Philadelphia for >10 years, but moved to the suburbs after having kids. We have two young kids under 3. However, we’re finding — especially me — that we hate living in the suburbs. I miss the city, the energy, the walkability, and the public transport. I wish I could never drive a car again. To me it’s the best way to live, and I only find myself drawn to it more as I get older.

My wife stays home with the kids but is open to working again soon. We don’t want to move back to Philly, so we’re looking at other options. Has anyone either moved back to a big city with kids or just raised their kids in one recently? How did you manage costs?

…And, before someone suggests it, no, a walkable suburb is most likely not the same thing :)

Is NYC feasible if one parent is making FAANG salary? What other cities should we consider?

We’ve also spent a lot of time in London and are considering there as we prefer many parts of the lifestyle in the UK. I have an option to work there keeping my US SWE salary plus visa sponsorship. The real risk there is losing my job and then being at the whim of London level SWE salaries as we aren’t UK citizens.

Have you considered Barcelona? It is, arguably, one of the most kid friendly cities in Europe and is very pedestrian friendly. If your employment or financial arrangement can support it, it is hard to beat (imho). Spain has a digital nomad visa, renewed one year at a time unless you apply from in country while on the tourist visa (within the 90 day visa), in which case it is a three year term (with one renewal before able to apply for permanent residency at five years).

Barcelona has some pedestrian areas but to call it "very pedestrian friendly" when it is mostly small blocks divided by busy roads is a stretch.

And I fear its anti-tourist movement is really an anti-foreigner movement.

In most US cities, the walkable parts that aren't heavily crime-ridden and distressed still have pretty bad schools (because they're just pockets here and there among the really poor parts) so you'll be adding the cost of private school (and hassle/cost of transportation to it, if it's a day school) to the already-high costs of housing.

There are a very-few cities with walkable areas of the actual city (not a walkable 'burb) that buck this trend, but it's the overwhelming norm. If you have money, have kids, and live in the city, the kids go to private school.

(Yes, I know, parts of NYC are a huge exception to this, I'm just saying, your list of potential target cities with this scheme is short unless you're planning to also pay for private school, in which case a whole bunch of cities open up)

I appreciate the suggestions, thank you.

I actually grew up in Ohio and know the cities there well. They’re just too small and public transit leaves a lot to be desired.

To me, there’s just something different about the cities that got big before cars that the southern cities, Ohio cities, etc can’t capture. It’s hard to explain if you’re not that type of person.

I think we will consider Chicago though (if I can sell my wife on the weather)