Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#1

Post by throwaway_32u10 » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 2:25 PM UTC

TL;DR; - in tech for almost two decades. Past jobs I just keep losing motivation after 6-9 months. Mentally exhausted by the end of the day, so barely have time to work on my own stuff. No idea how to move further.

Longer version: I'm in tech for almost two decades now. My first job ended after long tenure by the end of which I was barely doing anything, so I quit. Next job I was fired along with most of the company due to layoffs. Third company again long tenure, loss of motivation somewhere in the middle. Kept grinding until eventually got mentally sick from the place, so I quit.

Next one, same story, but this time shorter. After about a year, got sick of the place again, so I quit. Took a break, found another job, and now reaching the same mark of becoming mentally sick after about 9 months.

I tried to build something of my own, but my mental energy is below zero by the end of the work day, so I barely have time to focus/write code for my own projects.

I realize now that changing jobs won't help. Its a temporary solution for the first 6-9 months, afterwards I will find myself in the same place. Can't take sabbatical as I have responsibilities to my family. Drastic career change is not an option as I'm past my thirties, and coding is the only thing I can do.

I tried all company sizes from super small startups, to mid sized startups, to big corporate. All kinds of work environments: full time from the office, to hybrid, to fully remote; demanding job with on-call schedules and overtime, all the way to permissive schedule with great work/life balance.

I have a good sleep, and eat good. I train every day. But I just can't see myself staying in tech for another two-three decades till retirement. Suggestions?

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#2

Post by brodouevencode » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 2:46 PM UTC

Question, and it's completely innocent: are you good at what you do? I found that once I became really competent in may areas (SRE, Python/Golang, architecture) it was just a matter of finding the right company to work for. I had many of the same problems and frustrations when I did work I was not truly confident in. (Just a thought)

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#3

Post by throwaway_32u10 » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 2:50 PM UTC

brodouevencode wrote: post #2

Question, and it's completely innocent: are you good at what you do? I found that once I became really competent in may areas (SRE, Python/Golang, architecture) it was just a matter of finding the right company to work for. I had many of the same problems and frustrations when I did work I was not truly confident in. (Just a thought)

I'm a web dev that takes REST data and puts it in the database, or the other way around. It's not rocket science, and I do consider myself a good developer.

Of course I learned long time ago that there is zero correlation between my knowledge and getting a job, and in anyway the amount of companies I want to work at, can be counted on one hand (and most of them rejected me anyways, but I guess it would turn out to be the same feeling eventually).

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#4

Post by thagerty » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 2:52 PM UTC

I doubt coding is the only thing you can do. A lot of us get into coding because we are good at problem solving. If you can define your long term goals, and make an inventory of your resources, I bet you, along with the help of your family, can figure out a solution. I quit my IT job at 35 and became a massage therapist. The act of building my own house at 30 gave me the confidence to try the career change. You can gain a lot of energy doing things you care about, even if it's hard work.

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#5

Post by throwaway_32u10 » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 2:56 PM UTC

thagerty wrote: post #4

I doubt coding is the only thing you can do. A lot of us get into coding because we are good at problem solving. If you can define your long term goals, and make an inventory of your resources, I bet you, along with the help of your family, can figure out a solution. I quit my IT job at 35 and became a massage therapist. The act of building my own house at 30 gave me the confidence to try the career change. You can g…

The problem is that I like writing code. I truly enjoy it. I just hate doing it for someone else, on someone else's terms, performing someone else's rituals (corporate/code/architecture).

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#6

Post by metaloha » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 3:10 PM UTC

Best of luck. I've been in this grind for about 35 years now, very similar history.

Two suggestions that might help:

  * switch careers
  * freelance full-time

If you have any other talents or fields of interest, try finding work there (mechanic, electrician, trades, administration, technical writing, etc.).

As a freelancer, you can keep doing what you enjoy, but the scenery changes much more frequently, which might alleviate the ennui.

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#7

Post by throwaway_32u10 » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 3:15 PM UTC

metaloha wrote: post #6

Best of luck. I've been in this grind for about 35 years now, very similar history. Two suggestions that might help: * switch careers * freelance full-time If you have any other talents or fields of interest, try finding work there (mechanic, electrician, trades, administration, technical writing, etc.). As a freelancer, you can keep doing what you enjoy, but the scenery changes much more frequently, which might alle…

Thanks.

Is freelancing really that different? I keep hearing opinion for both sides ranging from "freelancing is truly different" to "freelancing is corporate/office job in disguise".

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#8

Post by beretguy » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 3:18 PM UTC

throwaway_32u10 wrote: post #5

thagerty wrote: post #4

I doubt coding is the only thing you can do. A lot of us get into coding because we are good at problem solving. If you can define your long term goals, and make an inventory of your resources, I bet you, along with the help of your family, can figure out a solution. I quit my IT job at 35 and became a massage therapist. The act of building my own house at 30 gave me the confidence to try the career change. You can g…

The problem is that I like writing code. I truly enjoy it. I just hate doing it for someone else, on someone else's terms, performing someone else's rituals (corporate/code/architecture).

Make your own simple SaaS product. Maybe look at bearblog.dev for inspiration.

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#9

Post by throwaway_32u10 » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 3:20 PM UTC

beretguy wrote: post #8

throwaway_32u10 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem is that I like writing code. I truly enjoy it. I just hate doing it for someone else, on someone else's terms, performing someone else's rituals (corporate/code/architecture).

Make your own simple SaaS product. Maybe look at bearblog.dev for inspiration.

I'm trying. The problem, as I mentioned, is that I'm squeezed by the end of the working day, so I barely have time to work on my side project

Re: Ask HN: I can't work in tech anymore. Help?

#10

Post by metaloha » Mon, Nov 18, 2024, 7:38 PM UTC

throwaway_32u10 wrote: post #7

metaloha wrote: post #6

Best of luck. I've been in this grind for about 35 years now, very similar history. Two suggestions that might help: * switch careers * freelance full-time If you have any other talents or fields of interest, try finding work there (mechanic, electrician, trades, administration, technical writing, etc.). As a freelancer, you can keep doing what you enjoy, but the scenery changes much more frequently, which might alle…

Thanks. Is freelancing really that different? I keep hearing opinion for both sides ranging from "freelancing is truly different" to "freelancing is corporate/office job in disguise".

It varies, same as so many things :) You can concentrate on finding work within a narrow range where you feel expert in, or spread the net wider and take on work that lets you learn new things as well. You might have a lot of domain experience (eg. financial, construction, real estate, etc.) that you can leverage into finding work, or intentionally find things outside your comfort zone.

We make our own prisons, so to speak, and freelancing can be as restrictive or as freeing as you make it (market conditions may dictate some of this, though).

I usually freelance within a single tech stack and closely related tech, but cast a wide net as far as the type of business goes (music, financial, AI, real estate, legal - all are industries I have some experience with now, and many more).