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Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

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Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#1

Post by dookahku »

currently in bay area. quit 10 months ago because of health reasons. 110% better now, thank goodness

i've mostly done lifecycle software engineering for the last 10 years (python c++ javascript). I rarely got to develop features; happened a couple times in the last year. I enjoyed bug fixing but it's such a rare position to find. i've gotten a few interviews, more coming.

i've never gotten a job through a referral. i don't really know anybody but going to meetups is on the agenda. does meetup.com even work anymore? not sure how that works, tho...social anxiety+cptsd+autism makes it so difficult.

how do you even find 'mentors' ? no one has ever helped me like that, it's inconceivable.

I've been grinding leetcode more, and am getting better ( dont have to look at answers as much), studying SD question/answers. working on side projects that are technical enough

But i'm so scared i wont ever find another job. im thinking of just going to trucking school, but i like software a lot.

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#2

Post by kirubakaran »

Whenever you need just one of something (job, relationship etc), it's going to look hopeless, right up to the moment that you get that one thing, and then you'd wonder why you ever worried.

You have the experience. There is demand for your experience. You're going to be fine. Just keep applying. Try not to waste your energy on worrying, and redirect it towards sending out applications etc. Easier said than done, I know.

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#3

Post by dookahku »

kirubakaran wrote: post #2

Whenever you need just one of something (job, relationship etc), it's going to look hopeless, right up to the moment that you get that one thing, and then you'd wonder why you ever worried. You have the experience. There is demand for your experience. You're going to be fine. Just keep applying. Try not to waste your energy on worrying, and redirect it towards sending out applications etc. Easier said than done, I kn…

that's a good point...i have this fear because i've had terrible experience interviewing. i've been closer to the edge than this before...

one reason I stayed at my previous place for 10 years was because i just couldn't interview well...i know better about modern interview practices, which is why i practice so much ( 2-3 hours per day). it feels so far away tho.

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#4

Post by kirubakaran »

dookahku wrote: post #3
kirubakaran wrote: post #2

Whenever you need just one of something (job, relationship etc), it's going to look hopeless, right up to the moment that you get that one thing, and then you'd wonder why you ever worried. You have the experience. There is demand for your experience. You're going to be fine. Just keep applying. Try not to waste your energy on worrying, and redirect it towards sending out applications etc. Easier said than done, I kn…

that's a good point...i have this fear because i've had terrible experience interviewing. i've been closer to the edge than this before... one reason I stayed at my previous place for 10 years was because i just couldn't interview well...i know better about modern interview practices, which is why i practice so much ( 2-3 hours per day). it feels so far away tho.

I understand, though I doubt you could possibly be worse than me at interviewing :) I remember once when I absolutely blanked out and didn’t answer a single question, when it was just simple questions in subjects that I knew very well. It was super embarrassing. Yet somehow I survived, and here I am doing just fine.

If I were you, I wouldn’t put off interviewing just to get better at leetcode. There are all kinds of interviewing styles, and I bet you’d get hired sooner than you think if you were to do the interviews parallel to practicing.

Wishing you the very best!

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#5

Post by steve_adams_86 »

kirubakaran wrote: post #2

Whenever you need just one of something (job, relationship etc), it's going to look hopeless, right up to the moment that you get that one thing, and then you'd wonder why you ever worried. You have the experience. There is demand for your experience. You're going to be fine. Just keep applying. Try not to waste your energy on worrying, and redirect it towards sending out applications etc. Easier said than done, I kn…

You nailed it. I was in a similar position not so long ago and I began to feel eerily hopeless. It was irrational. I got a lot of offers eventually. But damn it felt bad at times.

I’ll admit, most offers weren’t what I hoped for. The market isn’t great. I held out (with white knuckles) and eventually landed with a great team, product, and compensation. In the week that I accepted the offer, I had 3 others on the table. When it rains it pours I guess.

It took a while and it seemed impossible at times. But that’s life. You keep at it. You make it work. Whatever you do, don’t give up because you think it’ll be too hard. You need to push that envelope a bit and really test it before bailing for trucking school. Don’t let self doubt limit you; let reality do that.

I feel for OP though. I’ve never had a hard time finding work in my life. I’m the most competent and valuable I’ve ever been, yet it was a legitimate struggle. That feels very, very bad. Especially with a family to take care of.

But yeah, it’ll work out. It’ll take a lot of shitty interviews, a lot of applications and cover letters, self doubt, all of it. But you just have to do it.

Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#6

Post by viraptor »

Apply to places, then apply more. If you're in a busy place like bay area, you'll get something in the end. And while I'm not advocating jumping between jobs too often, keep in mind that if you need / are worried about money, you can join some job you don't love and keep looking for better options. When I started at my first place, I sent ~200 applications and got 3 responses (although that was with little experience). If you're getting interviews already, you'll be fine.

Also, I don't know if you want to handle it like that, but if a candidate told me they're autistic ahead of time, I'd likely be prepared to handle the interview better / not be surprised by some behaviours. Not sure if that generalises to other places and I understand this is not an easy topic.

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#8

Post by danparsonson »

I sympathise - I moved to Taiwan to be with my girlfriend and I'm having almost zero luck job hunting here so far; it's definitely not helped by the fact that my Mandarin is terrible, but at least I have plenty of free time to practise!

I wish you the best of luck; I went through this once before in my home country and it felt rough until I finally landed a good gig after months of nothing - hang in there and do whatever you can to look after your mental well being in the meantime.

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#9

Post by renewiltord »

If you're in the Bay Area, just grind leetcode and CTCI-like books for max FAANG life. You don't need all those other things if all you want is a software engineering job. Once you have then developed confidence that you can just replicate it when you need, you can do the other things.

Re: Ask HN: Terrified I wont find another job

#10

Post by tinco »

If you're grinding leetcode and are working on side projects you're already in the top 10% of applications for me as a hiring manager. I'm not in the Bay Area so maybe competition's a bit more intense over there.

Besides being on the grind, what I like to see is that you've been working on / experimenting with tech outside the stack you were using for those 10 years at your previous job. Especially stuff that's hot right now (in your own perception), just to show that you're interested in using the best tools to improve your work.

From my experience as a hiring manager, getting referrals is nice and it has a good track record of getting good team members, but (at least for me) it's not enough to build a whole company from referrals alone. I still go through regular applications to fill out the roles, and I bet everyone else does too, so don't worry too hard about forcing things at meetups.

It will definitely be easier to get a job that way though so definitely give it a shot, especially since people at fun places to work will advertise their open vacancies more loudly than people at less fun places.

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