I should be able to handle the work. My focus isn't even bad. But task initiation is killing me. E.g. I did fine at my internship this summer but only cause I was baseline that much better that I could put off the work and complete it very quickly.
Similarly, I don't reach out to network/maintain relationships like I should. And small tasks tend to slip through the cracks.
Here's the issue:
1. I live in a smaller southern college town where no good or even semi-decent therapists have openings for approximately the next forever.
2. I am deathly scared of the side effects of amphetamines. They really don't look like long-term solutions.
Some other options I've thought about: PPAP/BPAP (catacholaminergic modulators, i.e. instead of raising dopamine baseline they increase the amount released upon stimulation), NDMA antagonists (improve dopamine sensitivity short- or medium-term), and bromantane (increases tyrosine hydroxylase expression -> downstream more dopamine).
Anyway anything y'all can suggest would be hugely appreciated and might help keep me from spiraling nto total failure :/
Edit: re amphetamines, clarifying comment on why I'm so wary: The biggest reason isn't even sides, it's longevity. Tolerance builds pretty quickly and it seems like everyone I know on them is taking a solidly higher dose than at the outset. Almost smacks of the "pseudo-addiction" rhetoric out of purdue.