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Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

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Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#1

Post by user-extended »

I'm looking to pay someone to give me advice on what career or life path to take.

I'm 23, dropped out CS my freshman year due to poor test grades, had a rare illness, did Robotics for a semester, couldn't deal with electricity IRL, got a Vocational Degree in Logistics. From Spain.

I'm working a very average 8-5 job, with a terrible commute.

I'm looking to go back to college part-time, but it would take me at least 6 years to graduate, probably. I thought maybe CS again, but since I was so bad at it, and it's not like I've spent these years constantly programming, I don't know.

This is why I am looking to pay someone to give me advice on what life path to pursue. I like tech, but I think I am not smart enough for it. And besides CS, with what other degree would I be able to work in tech?

All Career Coaches I've looked at online seem like they're more for people who are already established in their careers. Not someone like me who's young enough to maybe try something new, but not young enough to be a 18 year old who can "try stuff around" anymore.

I've begun to talk less to friends because I keep comparing myself to them, and I'm the example on who you should not try to be.

Deeply appreciate any ideas.

Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#2

Post by eternalban »

> I've begun to talk less to friends because I keep comparing myself to them, and I'm the example on who you should not try to be.

Definitely stop doing that and that. Having people around you who have their act together is helpful. Remember: monkey see monkey do. And that final expression of your self image is the root of the issue. That will not go away if you cut yourself off from friends, it will only get worse.

This puzzle of an existence is in the main an entirely private and internal affair. Here's an old saw (which is still sharp and of utility): The mind/self can be your friend or your enemy. Time to make friends with your mind/self.

(Never hurts to see a therapist.)

Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#3

Post by user-extended »

eternalban wrote: post #2

> I've begun to talk less to friends because I keep comparing myself to them, and I'm the example on who you should not try to be. Definitely stop doing that and that. Having people around you who have their act together is helpful. Remember: monkey see monkey do. And that final expression of your self image is the root of the issue. That will not go away if you cut yourself off from friends, it will only get worse.…

I am seeing a therapist, for years.

I struggle a lot with jealousy, but it's the fact that most of them are already successful and I've failed so much. I talk to them and the only thing I am reminded of is how much their lives are better than mine.

It's even more depressing when one of them calls me at 9pm to hang out and I'm like I don't WFH unlike you, and my commute is horrible, so sorry, no. It's all I think about when I talk with them.

Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#4

Post by Centigonal »

Read some self-help books. Really.

I recommend Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkman and Mindset by Carol Dweck.

A career coach or counselor will be able to give you information and help you figure out how to achieve your goals, but nobody can actually tell you what YOU want to do with your career, because they don't live inside your head. You yourself have to figure that out.

For me, the tools in the above books have helped me get a better idea of what I want to spend my time doing and how I'm going to try and get there.

Also, commutes suck - maybe make your first goal getting a job closer to home, or a home closer to work?

Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#5

Post by user-extended »

Centigonal wrote: post #4

Read some self-help books. Really. I recommend Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkman and Mindset by Carol Dweck. A career coach or counselor will be able to give you information and help you figure out how to achieve your goals, but nobody can actually tell you what YOU want to do with your career, because they don't live inside your head. You yourself have to figure that out. For me, the tools in the above books hav…

I understand that... I have to figure it out by my own, but my dream was always do something related to tech, and I've failed at. Now, I don't know what to do. I'm blank.

Commute-wise, it's just that I'm much more mentally stable when I live with my parents. At first it was about the money, but now it's about having them around.

Thank you for the book recommendations.

Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#9

Post by Centigonal »

user-extended wrote: post #5
Centigonal wrote: post #4

Read some self-help books. Really. I recommend Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkman and Mindset by Carol Dweck. A career coach or counselor will be able to give you information and help you figure out how to achieve your goals, but nobody can actually tell you what YOU want to do with your career, because they don't live inside your head. You yourself have to figure that out. For me, the tools in the above books hav…

I understand that... I have to figure it out by my own, but my dream was always do something related to tech, and I've failed at. Now, I don't know what to do. I'm blank. Commute-wise, it's just that I'm much more mentally stable when I live with my parents. At first it was about the money, but now it's about having them around. Thank you for the book recommendations.

> my dream was always do something related to tech, and I've failed at. Now, I don't know what to do. I'm blank.

No, you haven't failed. Everyone has their own journey, and just because your friends have achieved your idea of "success in tech" before you did doesn't make you a failure. You haven't failed until you give up, and the fact that you're making this post means you haven't given up.

Bob Moore started Bob's Red Mill, a massive and successful company, at age 60, after a long career that took him from running a couple unsuccessful gas stations to selling car tires, until he discovered his passion for (of all things) milling grains. It's never too late to find something you're good at and reasonably enjoy.

now you've got to answer these questions:

- Do you still want to do "something related to tech?"

- If Yes: Well tech's that's a big field, and there's a lot of room for people with vastly different skillsets. What subfield do you want to target? how are you going to prove you can get hired in that subfield?

- If No: what other fields do you want to look at? What initially drove you to tech? why are you even interested? Is it intrinsic or extrinsic? You could try doing an Ikagai exercise to identify other fields that might be interesting to you.

You should definitely read Mindset - at least the first two chapters.

Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s

#10

Post by danwee »

Obviously, the answer may not be applicable to you, but here I put myself on your shoes.

- let's see, I'm 23. I'm young. How would I like to see myself when I'm 30? Well, probably with that CS degree I'm talking about, with some years of experience as a profressional programmer as well. Perhaps with some money saved (little, but something). At 30 I would finally be able to actually start making good money because I would have +7 years of experience, and I wouldn't have to worry about getting the degree anymore

- One doesn't need to be smart/intelligent to do programming, I know that for sure. I only need to put hours. Take it seriously, as an adult

- I would rather prefer to start working part-time (so I can earn some money plus work experience) and at the same doing the CS degree. Granted, it's going to be hard, but it's just a matter of perspective: the outcome (me at 30), that's the goal I really want to achieve. Maybe at the beginning (first 1 or 2 years) I would have to leave behind some time-consuming activities that slow me down to achieve my goal (e.g., too much videogames, too much social media, too much whatever...)

- Spain? That means the CS degree takes (on paper) probably 4 years to get. Probably the first years are the worst (maths, physics, electronics), while the last years are the "easiest/more interesting" ones (operating systems, databases, AI). Also, as I get work experience by working part-time, by the time I'm finishing the CS degree everything will look to me very easy to grasp (e.g., "I'm at my 3rd CS year. Lecture = "Relational DBs". Ah well, I have been working with MySQL during the last 2 years at my part-time job, I know what relational DBs are about! This is gonna be fun (and easy)"). So, it will be harder in the beginning (first 2 years), but then you'll have fun

Plan long term. Commit yourself to spend a significant percentage of your time to achieve your long term goals. As for the commute, are you working as a programmer? If so, there is probably remote-only jobs out there in Spain/Europe, find one (use Linkedin, golang.cafe, and similars. Do not use infojobs, monster and similars)

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