Ask HN: Have you ever worked under an abusive boss?

Intentionally set impossible deadlines? I've had one boss, but it was the classic 'set hard deadlines so we move fast, but don't communicate those deadlines outside until we know the real date'.

The rest of your description? I would leave immediately, I don't need to wait for unemployment or waste my time in such a toxic environment.

So far my managers in engineering have been pretty good. I am what you would probably call a typical gen z "job hop for TC increase" bay area stereotype; I have had something like a dozen+ bosses so far and none were particularly terrible. The ones asking for impossible deadlines knew what they were asking for (and apologised for it, saying it came from higher up and was obviously dumb), I've written complete things then "oh we've changed direction", but nothing that would actually be insulting or anger management. This is just IC level though so I'm sure I'm missing out on some clown parties way higher up.

When I worked retail, almost every manager was an abomination. None would ever be willing to fight for you in any situation, most were abusive, and any time you told a customer some well documented policy and they screamed about it, your manager would be first in line to override policy and tell them how they were going to fire you for not putting the customer first. I had two supervisors punch holes through walls and one throw merchandise at employees. We were kids, but there was a sense of solidarity amongst the non-management that I don't think I frequently see in tech.

I currently do. One of my managers complains bitterly about meetings, management decisions and people he dislikes to a usual group of people he feels he trusts (which I am sadly in, and he will trash members of that group whilst talking other members also), he generally exhibits little empathy and frequently declares work he organizes to be easy, discourages dissent in estimates in sprint planning and then needles people when they struggle with it whilst never leaning in to help, and is broadly disrespectful to people he perceives as moving slower than his pace or that think different. I've had a falling out with him before, but have ended up reporting to him again due to unfortunate events.

Generally, he refuses to work with people to build trust and advance his views, fails to control his temper and also refuses to try and identify deeper issues behind things he gets annoyed about in terms of process or the organization, which means a lot of his behavior is meaningless and he functionally does very little.

Frustratingly, I feel like I've become a more impatient and less supporting person whilst working under him as it's easy to get caught up in impotent anger, and I'm having to carefully reexamine how I work with people to try and find a better normal. I've previously had a very good manager before that, so this has been very hard for me.

In my 2nd job out of college I found myself taking a position with a startup to shepherd along a neglected project while the core team worked furiously to deliver their signature project. That project team was led by what can only be described as a sociopathic madman. He'd throw items around in his office and scream profane insults whenever a problem came up (QA finding bugs app crash/bug/missed graphics/etc.). He'd dress-down he responsible party with no pity in front of others. The team feared him - but nobody quit because there was a significant bonus promised to them on delivery.

The management team tolerated his exploits as they desperately needed the project delivered as there were substantial performance bonuses for early delivery, and significant penalties for late delivery. The team was cajoled into a "death-march" in the last few weeks with unlimited drinks/snacks and free meals for staying late and classical psychological manipulation for attempting to leave "early" (anything before a 12hr day). (I can still hear him saying to people "we're a team - how can you let your teammates down, you p** of sh*t")

In the end, the project was delivered on-time, but as the company had bet on an early delivery and so, had spared no expense in throwing resources towards that project, there were no bonuses. Instead, the team's extraordinary work was rewarded with layoffs...

I'm optimistic that that in today's environment (assuming you work in a free and open society) such behavior is no longer widely tolerated. First, I think that society has evolved and with the emphasis on work/life balance, people will refrain from subjecting themselves to a boss like the one described above. With high attrition, companies will remove people like that from oversight positions. Also, companies themselves can face consequences if they don't address such behavior immediately. Nothing like a surreptitiously recorded video or audio recording appearing on the internet to bring a public shaming.

I've worked with a CEO of a 3rd generation family business who would denigrate employees at any opportunity, thought he was a genius who solely built the company, "no raises in the budget" after frivolous $x,xxx,xxx company purchases statements and other unsavory behavior.

It could have been a great opportunity for my own goals, combining both marketing and development responsibilities, but it wasn't worth the constant second guessing and putdowns (e.g. you only increased revenue from -10% to +30% in 3 months, why not 50% type comments without jest), so I just found something else.

It is hard to spot in interviews, because the only people you are allowed to speak to are those who are complicit. Once you start working and people open up, you hear all types of red flags. Glassdoor used to be good for gleaning insights, but now it is probably curated for companies willing to pay.