Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#1

Post by perplexedparent » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 8:25 PM UTC

Edit: I will rewrite and post this again. Thank you to Paul and Ross for helpful comments that directly answered the question I asked.

Re: Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#2

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 8:45 PM UTC

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#3

Post by rossdavidh » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 8:49 PM UTC

I have an IQ of 130 or a bit more (last I checked, it was many years). I have never gotten my daughter's IQ tested. If she has an IQ of 102, but is emotionally balanced, she's got a bright future.

One of the features of an emotionally gifted/balanced/well-adjusted person, is their ability to use all of their mental powers to bear on a problem, without letting their wishes or fears overwhelm their intellect. Plenty of high-IQ people with emotional issues who do not do as well in living a happy and productive life. For example, figuring out what careers are both plausible and reasonably rewarding (financially and otherwise) is not actually an intellectually difficult one, but plenty of people screw it up because they let envy, shame, fear, greed, or other emotions get the better of them.

Your role would be to let her use her talents to make reasonable, well-adjusted choices in life. If she never gets a high IQ, that's not a big problem, as long as she isn't trying to pretend she does, in order to avoid disappointing a loving but emotionally "morose" parent. If she chooses a life that does not require a high IQ, she can still be happy and productive. If she ever needs to make any decisions that require differential equations, she'll have plenty of friends she can ask for help on that.

Re: Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#4

Post by Bostonian » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 8:54 PM UTC

rossdavidh wrote: post #3

I have an IQ of 130 or a bit more (last I checked, it was many years). I have never gotten my daughter's IQ tested. If she has an IQ of 102, but is emotionally balanced, she's got a bright future. One of the features of an emotionally gifted/balanced/well-adjusted person, is their ability to use all of their mental powers to bear on a problem, without letting their wishes or fears overwhelm their intellect. Plenty of…

"Plenty of high-IQ people with emotional issues who do not do as well in living a happy and productive life. For example, figuring out what careers are both plausible and reasonably rewarding (financially and otherwise) is not actually an intellectually difficult one"

It's not so easy. For example, what fraction of high school students who are good at math know what an actuary is? They have likely heard of doctors, nurses, and lawyers, but what is a management consultant? I've read that there is still a strong tendency for children to follow the careers of their parents. Part of it is genetics (doctors' kids are more likely to have the IQ to be a doctor than kids in general), but part of it is just having those careers on your radar screen.

Re: Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#5

Post by PaulHoule » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 8:55 PM UTC

Yeah. My son has a very different intelligence than me. I learned to read when I was 3 as did his mom. My son was slow to read. I home schooled him in math a bit, he never really got algebra but I had to improve my ability to do mental arithmetic to keep up with him. He beats me at chess.

Re: Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#6

Post by tamaharbor » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 8:57 PM UTC

I recall Gunther on Futurama was happiest with his half-Electronium hat. Moderate intelligence is just fine, perhaps even better.

Re: Ask HN: Any Parents to “Average” Children?

#7

Post by version_five » Sat, Apr 09, 2022, 9:09 PM UTC

tamaharbor wrote: post #6

I recall Gunther on Futurama was happiest with his half-Electronium hat. Moderate intelligence is just fine, perhaps even better.

To add to that, we're not even talking about "intelligence" here. We are talking about a single score a preschooler (as I understand it) got on a particular assessment instrument. That's not the thing that should play a meaningful role in defining one's life.