Ask HN: Being on top of things vs. looking like a fool

#1

Post by item21153 » Wed, Mar 16, 2022, 12:46 PM UTC

I'm doing a bit of an introspective at work in my behaviour around meetings.

I have 3 to 5 meetings/calls every day, with both colleagues and external parties.

Sometimes I walk into a meeting fully prepared (I look at notes from our last meeting, prep some questions to ask, look them up on Google/LinkedIn if it's someone new, etc.) and sometimes not so much prepared.

For the unprepared ones, it often feels like last minute ("oh shit I have this call in 2min, where is the zoom link, what's this about again, I should have checked 30min ago"),ultimately making me feel bad about it - a feeling that sticks before, during and after the meeting even though the conversation might be productive.

Does anyone else get a similar feeling? If you do, do you think this feeling is because you're not on top of things (which you take pride in) or because you might look unprepared and foolish to the other(s) in the meeting? Did you implement small hacks to never miss a beat?

Re: Ask HN: Being on top of things vs. looking like a fool

#2

Post by h2odragon » Wed, Mar 16, 2022, 1:09 PM UTC

I've been told the key to "presentations" is not letting your audience feel you're wasting their time. "If you can't be informative, be funny, or inspiring, or at least brief"

Re: Ask HN: Being on top of things vs. looking like a fool

#3

Post by WallyFunk » Wed, Mar 16, 2022, 5:25 PM UTC

Look up Imposter Syndrome[0]. There are people who are scared of being described as 'winging it' or making it up as they go along. We are human after all, and minor blunders can be compensated by future meetings when you're on the ball. The trick is not to always be 'that person who makes blunders all the time'.

Also: During the pandemic when people were first introduced to Zoom calls, there were countless people blundering into meetings completely unprepared and it grew from there (they're all video conference experts now). Again, we are human.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Re: Ask HN: Being on top of things vs. looking like a fool

#4

Post by vinkogrgic » Thu, Mar 17, 2022, 4:38 AM UTC

I'm with WallyFunk, it's related to imposter syndrome. As a team leader, there is plenty for me to feel inadequate about already, so I try not to add "runs wasteful meetings" to that list of self-doubts. My "hack" is to live in my google calendar, adding time for my own work & projects, and even reminders. I only use a todo list to purge my brain & prioritise, not because I intend to actually work from it - things that make it in the calendar, are things that I am doing (or will be doing). This also makes good followup & stakeholder management much more possible. One of my guiding principles on this topic is being hyper-respectful of other people's time - this gives me enough of a kick up the arse to avoid being unprepared for meetings.

Re: Ask HN: Being on top of things vs. looking like a fool

#5

Post by phaasz » Fri, Mar 18, 2022, 1:13 AM UTC

Agree with others' comments on impostor syndrome. I organise my thoughts ahead of interactions so I can avoid looking foolish.

While my goal is to look prepared, I don't think the preparation itself directly affects how I am seen. It is more that being prepared reduces my anxiety and makes it easier for me to be fully present.

I actually wrote a quite detailed post on LI about my process for this a couple of months back: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/peterhaasz_i-suffer-from-impo...

Another dimension for me is that preparedness is about energy management. I have had my fair share of running between meetings with no context and figuring things out on the fly. You get through it, but gee it's exhausting.